By george she gets it! Claire Boeck, writing for the Catholic Exchange begins by noting:
"For birthparents, adoptive parents and adoptees, adoption is almost never first choice. The choice of most birthparents would obviously be to avoid an unplanned/unwanted pregnancy. The first choice of most adoptive parents would be to achieve parenthood through the more traditional route, rather than to become parents after a long journey of scrutiny, paperwork, financial expense, etc. Certainly for a baby, the most ideal situation would be to be raised by biological parents who are able to adequately meet the multiple needs of a child. I’m sure that even children adopted into wonderful families full of love would have rather been born to biological parents capable of raising them, rather than living with the identify issues and grief/loss that are universal to adoptees. For adoptees, I suspect that adoption is both second choice and second best, even in the best of circumstances."
She then adds: "For parents who are called to adoption, however, I’m not so sure."
And...the first comment reads:
"Perhaps if more people internalize the truths that you elucidate, they would actively encourage birth moms to place their children for adoption. "
Claire's article, "Adoption: Second Choice, Not Second Best" details hr pregnancy losses. How can any woman feeling life and experience the loss of a child want to "actively encourage" others to go through such pain?
One can also only hope - and pray (if it is your style) that acknowledging the loss for adoptees - even in the most loving home - Claire would have arranged to have an open adoption for her child to reduce the loss and identity struggle a smuch as possible...