Third Party Reproduction and Adoption

Third party reproduction involves the use of sperm, egg or womb of a "third party" to the person or couple attempting to become parents of a child and creates a child who may not be related to one or both parents.

Dawn Davenport, director of Creating a Family, who hosts a webcast radio program on "infertility and adoption" describes adoption as "moving up the treatment ladder" of infertility treatment. Really? Is that how WE think of adoption? Is that the intent of adoption? Is it really all about infertility?

The hottest topic today within this "third party" realm is embryo or gamete adoption.

Karen Roeb, Clinical Administrator of Fertility Miracles, a division of the American Fertility Institute, is quoted on MomLogic.com 9/8/09 as saying that "snowflake" embryo adoption is "a little easier than adopting a child. Psychologically it's almost the same. You still get to experience the birth. When a donor donates, she gives up all legal rights to any children that are produced -- even the egg. She's not entitled to the child or the embryo."

Just two days prior, on Sept 6, a blog post entitled, "Is Embryo Adoption Adoption?" references a Social Science Research Network article entitled, "Embryo Exchanges and Adoption Tax Credits."

I encourage you to listen to Dawn's webcast interview with Adam Pertman, shortly after EBDAI published the study titled “Old Lessons for a New World: Applying Adoption Research” and Experience to Assisted Reproductive Technology” and Marna Gatlin, founder and Director of the nonprofit, Parents Via Egg Donation.

All three parties involved in the webcast agreed that children must be told how they were created - yet sadly they say that most "recipient" parents do not want to or will not tell their child. However, all of these sources missed totally in comparing these methods of OBTAINING a child, the sealing of a child's original and true birth certificate.

None of these sources mention what I see as the difference between the two:

“Gamete adoptees” ARE in fact born to their “adopter” – so that complicates everything in terms of calling them adopted. The “gamete adoptee” - and correct me please if I am wrong - does not have original identity that gets erases when they are adopted.

To make laws requiring people to inform their adopted embryo kids the truth is impossible to enforce, just like it is impossible to enforce telling any child if sperm or egg were purchased and thus he is not biologically connected to one or both of the parents who raised him. No more than you can force anyone who cheats on their spouse and gets pregnant to reveal the truth of their father.

In regular adoption the situation is quite different. Laws can and should be changed to allow equal access to the true record of one's birth which exist.

The child of DI or embryo adoption - a “gamete adoptee” - has no original birth certificate to access and thus could only find the truth if his parents choose to tell him or through medical records of their mother, which are protected by HIPAA law.

Falsified Birth Certificates

birth' certif"icate

http://dictionary.infoplease.com/birth-certificate

an official form recording the birth of a baby and containing pertinent data, as name, sex, date, place, and parents.

• BIRTH CERTIFICATE (noun)
http://www.audioenglish.net/dictionary/birth_certificate.htm

The noun BIRTH CERTIFICATE has 1 sense:

1. a copy of the official document giving details of a person's birth

Dictionary: birth certificate
http://www.answers.com/topic/birth-certificate

n. An official record of the date and place of a person's birth, usually including the names of the parents.

Familiarity information: BIRTH CERTIFICATE used as a noun is very rare.

I also encourage all to read the wikipedia explanation of birth certificates as a vital record, because because the Fourteenth Amendment expressly grounds American citizenship upon birth in the United States. [Note the word BIRTH]

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When we look at the history of "sealed records" the rationale was to protect the child from the stigma of illegitimacy.

The secondary rationale is the alleged protection of supposed promises ho lost children to adoption. A lie started by the NCFA and too often believed by legislators, as is the lie that opening the records would increase abortions. Neither claim has any substantiation because neither is true.

Those who recognize this as a violation of human rights, discrimination and a legalization of shame, seek to return to the pre-1940's sealing of birth certificates - to a form of adoption that is closer to permanent legal guardianship.

The one singular objection to this suggestion is that adopted people would be "embarrassed" or uncomfortable not sharing the same surname with the parents raising them. This is a time when many women keep their maiden name after marriage and step families with multiple names are prevalent.

Ironically, at the same time we are supposed to be protective of children's alleged embarrassments, and continue to legalize secrets and lies to "protect" mothers...gays are making strides in the recognition of their equality. Their right to marry is being seriously considered and has been made legal in a couple of states and they are battling for the right to adopt.

New York State which recognizes same sex marriage recently placed the name of a lesbian's wife on their child's birth certificate. As a result a federal judge ordered the names of two fathers who adopted a child added to his birth certificate. The child was born in Louisiana and adopted in New York.

It is interesting that lesbians welcome patriarchal laws that recognize the legal spouse as parent; laws enacted to protect rights of inheritance when women did not count at all for that purpose.

It is also interesting that in fighting for their equality and rights, gays and lesbians are equally guilty of dishonoring the rights of the adopted as are heterosexuals.

Children are expected to deal with having two mommies or two daddies in their life - and named as their progenitors on their falsified birth certificate - but are alleged to be uncomfortable with not having the same name as their parents...or having a birth certificate and an adoption certificate.

Let's get real here. We are not living in the 1950's. Laws need to change to reflect social and cultural changes.

COMMENTS welcomed. I have reopened the comment option and will screen and post all ISSUE-ORIENTED, non-attacking comments. Commenters are encouraged to state their agreement or disagreement politely, with RESPECT and courtesy to this blog and others who comment.