Thursday, September 20, 2007

Jayni Anderson Follow Up

Press release, Sept. 2007

OriginsUSA advocates family preservation, and provides justice, emotional support for families separated by adoption and public education on issues related to adoption.

As such, OriginsUSA is proud to have been in part responsible for the recent reunion between a Salt Lake City mother and her two sons separated for three decades.

Jayni Anderson surrendered a daughter and two sons for adoption. She worried about their well-being and returned to LDS Family Services who placed them in order to update her contact information.

On her most recent visit to the agency, Anderson was told that her daughter died at six months of age of SIDS. She was not told whether the adoption had been finalized, or where her daughter was buried.

OriginsUSA read about Anderson’s plight and on September 13, 2007 publicly declared support for her efforts to sue the agency to open the records in regards to her daughter.

The press release produced by OriginsUSA was seen by a man who believed he was Anderson’s oldest son. Many of the facts fit what he had been told: that his mother was herself adopted and was part Native American. He contacted OriginsUSA who in turn contacted Anderson.

That very day Anderson met her eldest son whom she had baned Joshua, now 30 years old, married and expecting his first child very shortly. Placed for adoption when he was three, he is the department manager of a security systems company, and is a military intelligence officer with the Utah Army National Guard.

Anderson, shedding tears of joy, was also quickly reunited with his brother who had been placed with the same adoptive family shortly after his birth, though their adoptive parents were not the attorney and physician Anderson had been told they were. Anderson’s middle son is 26 years old. He is currently married and is a successful electrician who works throughout several western states.

All three had been living in the Salt Lake City area.

Anderon’s sons will be assisting her in her efforts to uncover the truth of their sister. Anderson reports that her youngest son, who she raised, is thrilled to have two big bothers.

Joshua, who had been searching since he was sixteen, and has the support of his adoptive parents said: “I inherited her persistence….I have to tell you that I am very grateful for organizations like yours, for if this story had never occurred, I would never have met her. Thank you so much.”

Contact: OriginsUSA at

Friday, September 14, 2007

Press Release in Support of Jayni Andeson

September 14, 2007

OriginsUSA is a national organization dedicated to Family Preservation,
justice and education for families separated by adoption.

As such, we are in full support of the efforts of Jayni Anderson, Utah, as
she fights to know all of the details of the death of her infant daughter
28 years ago, for the right and to know where the child is buried, as
reported in The Salt Lake Tribune, Sept 20, 2007.

OriginsUSA also supports Anderson in changing agency policy and
regulations that prevent sharing the truth of such vital information as
the death of child. According to Anderson representatives of the agency,
LDS Family Services, told her that her daughter was "fine" when she

OriginsUSA is opposed to all secrecy in adoption as detrimental to all of
the parties to the adoption. Bernadette Wright, PhD, president of
OriginsUSA states: "Secrecy and lies in adoption policy are counter to the
best interest of the children being placed and their families, and serve
only the interests of those whose livelihoods depend on adoption
placements, and those who pay the fees to keep agencies operating in the

OriginsUSA is opposed to posthumous adoptions, legal in the state of Utah.
The practice is a cruel fraud. "Likewise," reports Wright, "denying the truth to a mother who has surrendered is an inhumane procedure based on the false belief - and
hope - that mothers who surrender walk away and forget, which they do not.
A mother is a mother forever. No paper changes that fact of life."

It was because Anderson never forgot, and was forever wondering and
concerned about her daughter's welfare, that she kept her contact address
updated. It was during one of these visits, when the agency informed her
that her daughter had died, allegedly of SIDS, at six months of age. It
has yet to be determined if the adoption had taken place and/or was
finalized at that time.

Anderson, who is adopted, has fought for adoptee rights in Utah and
through her reunion discovered that she is one-half Sioux. Not knowing
the fate of her first child and believing in the "goodness" of adoption,
she placed two other children, a decision she now regrets. She requested
that her two sons be placed together, but they were not, and now endures
the pain of severe concern for their welfare.

Anderson is planning to sue agency to get all of the records regarding her
daughter's death, and wants to see legislation is place so that other
mothers will not be denied the truth of their children like this.

The Board of Directors, OriginsUSA

CONTACT: Mirah Riben, PR Chair, OriginsUSA,, 732-329-3769

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Jayni Anderson Update

Update of preceding post:

I have spoken with Jayni. She is a very bright articulate woman.

Jayni was adopted herself and has been active in adoption reform. She was instrumental in getting a registry in Utah (which she is keenly aware is a baby step) in order to complete her search. She discovered she is on-half Sioux.

She surrendered her three children believing adoption was a wonderful thing. She never would have relinquished her two boys had she known then the truth about her daughter. Her concerns for them are now unimaginable.

When Jayni went to the newspaper in Salt lake (owned by LDS) they called LDS Family Services to verify the facts. LDSFS told the newspaper that it was all a lie, that Jaynie had not surrendered any children through them, believing she would have no documentation to prove that she did. Jayne was able to provide a witness who hasd been with her when the social worker told her that her daughter had died and the paper ran the story!

Jayni is very brave, and very pro-active. With the support of OriginsUSA, will be fighting to investigate the circumstances of her daughter's death, to sue the agency, and get the laws changed.

We support her efforts 100 percent.

How can adoption be “sold” as a loving choice when mothers are treated like inhumane, uncaring... not worthy of any common, civil decency to mourn their own child?

There is no excuse:

the law should require all parties to inform the
agency/state/lawyer where one is every 2 yrs.

America keeps better records on DMV and your auto license plate! You have to update your drivers' license in oder to drive a car. Is it too much to require adoptive and birth fmailies to update their contact information?

The answer is, of course it would be simple. But it is not in the best intersts of those who weant adoption kept secretive and apretsne of being the same "as if" the child is thirs - bought by them or born to them. And, it is not in the bets interst of those whose livlihoods flourish better under the cloak secrecy....all the modern day Georgia Tann's...


Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Outrageous, Inhumane Injustice

A recent news story points to one of most painful aspects of adoption.

Jayni Anderson had a baby girl named Sarah Maire in 1979 and surrendered the newborn to adoption.

Like all mothers who endure the heartache of relinquishment, Jayni never forgot her baby girl and wondered if she was well and well cared for. Whenever she inquired at the LDS agency in Utah who handled the adoption, she was assured that her daughter was "fine."

Anderson, now 50, and still concerned, and imagining her daughter at every age...wondering if she was happy and healthy and wanting to make herself if her daughter were to seek her out...
recently reported an address change to the LDS Family Services.

It was then she was informed that her beloved Sarah Marie had died of SIDS - Sudden Infant Death Syndrome - twenty eight years ago, at the age of six months.

As if the pain of loosing a child to adoption is not torture enough, this mother had to have insult added to injury by being lied to for all those years and being allowed to think of her daughter growing up.

When Anderson asked, "Why didn't you tell me earlier?" she said she was simply told, "That's a good question."

And it doesn't end there. She has not bean able to determine if she had been adopted or not before she passed away, and doe snot know where her beloved is buried.

"I don't want this to happen to someone else," said Anderson owho is seeking a change in the laws regarding notification. "Adoption hurts, and it stays with you. But you take heart knowing your child is going to a good home, and you trust the adoption agency. That trust was violated."

No state requires adoption agencies or private adoption practitioners to keep contact with birth parents after relinquishment in the event of death or a failed adoption.

Anderson said she would have opted for an open adoption, had that been available 28 years ag, although there is no enforcement to guarantee that such arrangements are adhered to.

To complicate matters further, Utah legislators recently changed state law to allow for adoptions to be finalized posthumously, but the law applies only to adoptions after May 2006.

This legislation makes a bad situation worse and is a travesty of justice. It serves no purpose whatsoever except to be unnecessarily cruel in denying the mother of the child any semblance of human decency.

Anderson subsequently surrendered a toddler son, in 1980 and another boy, a newborn, in 1981. Her request that the brothers be placed together was denied. "I asked her if my boys could live with their sister, but she said, 'No, the parents moved back East'."

Now she is left to wonder about their well0being far more than ever before...she and every other mother who has lost a child to adoption...

The opposition to opening adoption records for those to whom they apply, is hyped by the NCFA - the lobby for adoption agencies, particularly LSD agencies - as being a detriment to mothers relinquishing and opting for abortions instead. This case points out clearly how directly opposed to reality that lobbying propaganda is. Mothers who read this will be far less likely to relinquish knowing that this could happen to told lies by their adoption agency and not even allowed to properly grieve their child's death or put a flower on a grave.

OriginsUSA has reached out to Jayni to offer her condolences and support as she deals with this tragedy.

We support her efforts to change unjust laws regarding notification to mothers in the event of death or adoption temrination or disruption. We advocate First Right of Refusal in the case of adoption failure - meaning the mother, and father, should be notified and should be the first choice, if they are now capable and willing to parent, before another stranger placement is sought.

Thursday, September 6, 2007


Birthmark by Lorraine Dusky (1979)
NY: M. Evans and Company

Review by Mirah Riben

Released in 1979, Dusky broke new ground with Birthmark, as the very first book by someone known as a “birthmother” to tell her story.

“The call me ‘biological mother.’ I hate those words. They make me sound like a baby machine, a conduit, without emotions. They tell me to forget and go out and make a new life. BUT I AM A MOTHER.”

Sadly, every bit as relevant today as it was when it was written nearly thirty years ago – Birthmark poignantly spans her life from the time of her relationship that led to her pregnancy, through the birth of her daughter, and her inability to forget and get on with her life and despite having the career she thought giving up “the child” would allow. It will be most relevant for those who thought they could give away a child and pick up the pieces of their educations and careers…and for all those who told us we could or should.

“The child was everywhere. True, I stopped thinking about her every hour, and maybe sometimes several days would manage to slip by…But then something…commercials for gentle Ivory Snow, safe for baby…
“I would always be a woman who gave away a child.”

Sprinkled with touching and revealing flashbacks to her youth in Michigan, her hopes, her dreams - fishing with her father…Birthmark is not just the first, it remains to this day far superior to other memoirs written by mothers who have lost children to adoption.

“I may look normal, but there’s something a bit off. I cry much too easily, for starters.
“I am a mother without a child.”

Dusky, a freelance writer who has written for many magazines and the New York Times, is bold, brazen and holds nothing back. With an astonishing depth of honesty she describes her her adultery and attempts to abort are exposed in raw truth – bare naked - for all to see. No more secrets; no more lies. Allowing the truth to set her – and us all – free at last. She shares her secrets as with a close and dear friend, allowing the reader to feel compassion for the young woman trying to find her way in a world that is unkind and judgmental to women.

She chides herself as she checks out her flattened post-delivery stomach:

“I wonder how much I weigh.
“Selfish slut, all you care about is yourself”

She opens her heart, soul and lets us traverse into her deepest inner thoughts, revealing her all too human frailties and self doubts, making the reader a confidant. We are privy to it all: The self-doubt, the self-loathing; the pain - the pain that never subsides - even as she gets strong enough to fight back. The irony of her loss for the sake of secret-keeping leading to her becoming an activist is profound. It is an intensely personal and intimate tale, and yet universal. Not in the details of the experiences, but in the aftermath of never forgetting.

It also makes a very strong and powerful political statement as she describes the scene in a courtroom where experts - who have never spoken to a mother who had relinquished testify as experts as to what is best for mothers and their adopted children.

I hope that Dusky reprints this out of print book. Until then, look for used copies. It's a book you can't put down until you've finished and then wish it hadn't ended. This will be true for those who have never thought about adoption every but as much as for those who live it every day....and share her pain, anguish, frustration, dread and anger.

Tuesday, September 4, 2007

Onatrario Bilateral Open Law: A Model

Ontario Fulfills Its Commitment To Deliver New Adoption Information Laws

Legislation Balances The Right To Know With The Right To Protect Privacy

TORONTO, Sept. 4 /CNW/ - Ontario is delivering a new, more open adoption
information disclosure system that will make it easier for adult adoptees and
birth parents to learn about their past, Minister of Community and Social
Services Madeleine Meilleur announced today.
"This new information disclosure system makes it easier for adoptees and
birth parents to get the information they have been looking for, while also
protecting the privacy of those who do not wish to be contacted," said
Meilleur. "We made a promise and today I am proud to say we are delivering on
that commitment."
On September 17, 2007, the Ontario government will be implementing the
last phase of Bill 183, the Adoption Information Disclosure Act, 2005. At that
time, adult adoptees and birth parents, whose adoptions were finalized in
Ontario, will be able to apply for information in adoption orders and original
birth records.
"We are excited to see Ontario take a leadership role by allowing
adoptees and birth parents to access their adoption records," said Professor
Michael Grand, a member of the coordinating committee of the Coalition for
Open Adoption Records (COAR). "The new legislation is based on the best
research and practices surrounding information exchange."

Implementation of the new legislation builds on the privacy protections
that have been in place since January 31, 2007. Since that time, adult
adoptees and birth parents have been able to:

- Place a "no contact" notice on their file if they do not want to be
- Register a notice specifying a "contact preference" on how they
prefer to be contacted.
- Apply to the Child and Family Services Review Board for an order to
prevent disclosure of identifying information if there are concerns
regarding sexual harm or significant physical/emotional harm.

Adult adoptees have also been able to register a "waiver of protection"
that will allow the Ontario Registrar General to release information to a
birth parent even though the adopted person was a victim of abuse.
"The new legislation will give adult adoptees and birth parents the
ability to find the information they have been looking for," said Karen Lynn,
president of the Canadian Council of Natural Mothers and a member of the COAR
coordinating committee. "It treats adult adoptees and birth parents with the
respect they deserve."

This is just one more example of how, working together, Ontarians have
achieved results in strengthening Ontario by strengthening Ontario's families.
Other results include:

- Launching a new public awareness website on accessibility called, which challenges attitudes and encourages all Ontarians
to learn about barriers to accessibility;
- Providing nearly $19 million for rent banks to assist vulnerable
low-income tenants who are experiencing a short-term financial crisis
so they can stay in their homes.
- Implementing a new Ontario Child Benefit to help nearly 1.3 million
children in low-income families.

"Finally, adult adoptees in Ontario will have the same opportunities as
everyone else," said Wendy Rowney, president of Adoption Search and Kinship
and a member of the COAR coordinating committee. "The opportunity to get their
original birth records and the opportunity to learn about their past."
"We're moving Ontario's adoption information laws into the 21st century,"
said Meilleur. "Adoptees and birth parents will finally be able to learn more
about their past and their identity."

Full legislation at:

RussiaToday Apr 29, 2010 on Russian Adoption Freeze

Russi Today: America television Interview 4/16/10 Regarding the Return of Artyem, 7, to Russia alone

RT: Russia-America TV Interview 3/10

Korean Birthmothers Protest to End Adoption

Motherhood, Adoption, Surrender, & Loss

Who Am I?

Bitter Winds

Adoption and Truth Video

Adoption Truth

Birthparents Never Forget