Adoption Give-Backs

In adoption abuse extends beyond physical and sexual and transcends all other types of emotional abuse non-adoptees could ever experience. High on the list of discpiciable things done in the name of adoption by those who dare call themselves "forever families" is terminate, "disrupt" or end their adoption...as if divorcing a spouse.

Some simply return to the source, or dump into the foster care system.not so, however for the majority of these cases which involve kids from outside the U.S. These kids wind up in residential treatment centers or passed on - recycled? - to another set of "desperate" parents; parents by choice, not chance.

I am always rendered heart sick by such tales of utter rejection and abandonment and the permanent scaring on the soul of the children...the lack of preparation and false expectations on the part of adopters...

And yet, the only small comfort in this is that the child is spared living in such a home with people who could that, or being abused.

Case in point: The New York Times MotherLode Blog, 8/26/09. Note that many commenters praise her for her honesty! (Was that why she posted it and exposed herself to criticism? Being called brave, honest, courageous -- ptied and agreed with by others who committed similar shameful acts?) I find that like praising a man who cheats on his wife for then being "honest" about his deceitful behavior! Especially when he reveals it only after being caught, and expects forgiveness.

In criminal law, admitting a crime doesn't get you off scott free, and certainly doesn't win you accolades...why should it in the world of morality?

One of my fav adoptive moms expresses similar revulsion and does so very well. I highly recommend you read...ThirdMom's reponse.

As I commented on the Times site, why post this if she has no tips to help others avoid her failure, and hardship for herself as well as her child and other children?

Bottom line:

• Why is it that adoptive parents openly ask for and receive far more pity for their physical short-coming (no pun intended, or is there) than the blind or amputees ever would?
• Why is their loss of procreative ability a loss the world needs to share and mourn with them, while ours are ignored?
• Why has adoption become a public event with blog after blog about every step of "their" painful "journey"?
  
• While do they get pity even when they give away a kid they promised to care for, but we get NONE? (Not that I want pity, thank you very much...just a little compassion).