Adoption and Child Abuse

Lisa Belkin addresses the connection between adoption and child abuse in a recent Huffington Post column and relates it to attachment disorder.

The sad reality is that more than 226 children MURDERED by adoptive or foster parent abuse are identified here by Pound Puppy Legacy.

The public often calls these atrocities, anomalies. Yet, the 226 plus listed on the Pound Puppy post these are just those who actually died as a result of being beaten, caged, starved, tortured, beaten...Many more have survived such torment including sexual abuse.

In my 1988 book "shedding light on the Dark Side of Adoption" I first called attention to this phenomenon and called for research into the question posed about abuse rates in adoptive families. After all, it is a known fact that sexual and other abuses are far more common in foster families than the general populace. Belkin identified one of the pieces of the puzzle of why people who go out of their way to be parents, pay huge fees to adopt in some cases, and are alleged to be motivated.­..why they would harm children trusted to them. The other part of the puzzle is the reason identified for abuse in foster homes: absence of kinship.

Children born into their families often act out. However, there is the ability to see some of oneself or another relative in their independence­, defiance or rebellious­ness and even admire that spark. In unrelated children there is a fear of what it might lead to. Did the child inherit "bad blood"? What is he capable of? There is fear of the unknown possibilit­ies with a child who is, after all, not your flesh and blood.

Surely absence of kinship increases the risk of sexual abuse and there are no taboos against sex with an unrelated person in your home, despite taboos and laws against pedophilia. Just ask Woody Allen. Adopted children are at risk for sexual abuse from parents as well as siblings. Yet no one is admitting these risk factors or researchin­g their prevalence­.

Penn State's Jerry Sandusky who adopted six children and took in untold numbers of foster children is the latest adoptive father charged with sexual misconduct with children. The latest, but not the first and unfotunately, not the last.  In 2008 Stephen Frank Karban, of Arizona, adoptive father to nine children, was charged with 14 counts of criminal sexual conduct.

There are two reasons we turn a blind eye to these abuses that are glaring in our face once again with the headlines about Sandowsky.

The first reason is one that a publisher told me when rejecting The Dark Side. He said that adoption is society's fall back position and we do not want to see any flaws in it.

The other reason is that it is a mega billion dollar industry and like all such money-make­rs has lobbyists who convince lawmakers to keep passing legislation­n to make it easier to adopt and provide incentives and benefits such as huge tax credits, most of which goes to internatio­nal adoption despite being presented as a way to help the foster child population be adopted.

We must stop looking away and ignoring..­..we must stop continuing to encourage adoption and market it as a win-win.

NOTE to those who want to comment: There is no need to tell me that you are happily adopted. The fact that there are happily married people does not negate the enormous number of failed marriages and the pain divorce causes families and children. We do NOT encourage divorce for this reason.

If you are happily adopted, count your blessings. Adoption is nothing more than a crap shoot. You could just as easily have been another casualty.

Sandusky update: Sandusky Scandal Could be Linked Back to Possible Abuse of Adopted Son in 1995: Report

10/14 UPDATE: Sandusky's Angel in Adoption Award Rescinded