I call you attention to a Boston Globe Lifestyle piece that begins with the myriad of adoptive mothers who felt "left out" of the Finding Family TV series.
In response, they have birthmothers, adoptees and adoptive parents all assuring anxious adoptive parents that it's just a "phase" and in then end their loyal adoptee with still sit obediently at their feet and wag his tail for them and only them! And of course they are and always will be "THE" mother!
I wanted to barf.
I encourage you to enlighten them with some comments that show other points of view.