Marie Osmond said today at Michael's funeral:
"I'm proud of my son and I honor his birthmother
who's here today,
who gave me the greatest gift.
Thank you for those beautiful 18 years."
UPDATE 3/10/10: A discussion has ensued on Facebook as a result of my posting this news tidbit and the issue of "the gift" and whether Marie deserves any kudos for just doing what she SHOULD have done.
This is my reply:
"Should she get a pat on the back for doing what is decent and civil behavior under "normal" circumstances? Nothing is normal about adoption! I have known birth moms whose child had died before they ever met and were denied so much as a photograph of their child when they contacted the a-family! My daughter's adoptive family has been less than kind or considerate to me - FAR LESS! They have never given me one single photo either, though I met my daughter and have some photos.
"So, yes, whatever crumbs she gives are better than none and she she not only had her there, but publicly recognized her as being there. And Marie is not just an ap -- she LDS!! This is HUGE!
"So, yes, whatever crumbs she gives are better than none and she she not only had her there, but publicly recognized her as being there. And Marie is not just an ap -- she LDS!! This is HUGE!
"It serves as a model for other adoptive parents. Birthparents don't bite; we're not a threat. We don't have horns on our heads or all wear fish net stockings with a cigarette hanging from our drug-addicted lips. We are human beings. This is a good step for mankind!
"It is far better to be invited to and share our children's wedding, but...it is a step to show this kind of solidarity of two mothers of the same child."
Seems, however, I was on an unusual optimistic, hopeful cloud there for a small time. Very soon my comment above was replied to by Marsha Rains Roberts who said that:
"[A]s an adoptive parent who is a part of many aparent circles, I don't know how educating really this is. I can just see most of the clueless ones going "oh well isn't Marie so wonderful for inviting that birth lady to the funeral? I hope they had security watching her so she didn't steal anything while she was there. I couldn't do it, but that's ... See Morenice she let that woman come, at least she could see what wonderful people her son was given to so she'll know what a good choice she made. I hope the woman doesn't start trying to get money out of Marie now. Tsk tsk, I bet the Osmands didn't think about that. It's probably a scam. She wasn't his mom anyways. She didn't want him, she's lucky Marie did. Imagine the nerve of her even trying to show up there. Marie is a much better woman than I am!"
"It is far better to be invited to and share our children's wedding, but...it is a step to show this kind of solidarity of two mothers of the same child."
Seems, however, I was on an unusual optimistic, hopeful cloud there for a small time. Very soon my comment above was replied to by Marsha Rains Roberts who said that:
"[A]s an adoptive parent who is a part of many aparent circles, I don't know how educating really this is. I can just see most of the clueless ones going "oh well isn't Marie so wonderful for inviting that birth lady to the funeral? I hope they had security watching her so she didn't steal anything while she was there. I couldn't do it, but that's ... See Morenice she let that woman come, at least she could see what wonderful people her son was given to so she'll know what a good choice she made. I hope the woman doesn't start trying to get money out of Marie now. Tsk tsk, I bet the Osmands didn't think about that. It's probably a scam. She wasn't his mom anyways. She didn't want him, she's lucky Marie did. Imagine the nerve of her even trying to show up there. Marie is a much better woman than I am!"
14 comments:
Wow. Just wow. Thanks for letting us know.
M.
Pretty much my reaction.
Mothers who have lost our children to adoption - especially under pressure - really do not appreciate having our loss called gift because it ws not a willingly given gift. But nonetheless I am in a state of WOW that she was there as at. especially in view of the fact that when my daughter died, her adoptive mom went out of her way to keep the obit out of the paper so i would not know and could not show up! Pathetically sad.
Don't love the "gift" wording...still, I suppose it's something. Utterly floored by the other woman's comments. Yeah..hide the silver folks. Is she for real? Yowzers.
Michelle - she is on our side and telling us what OTHERS are saying. I think she is dead-on accurate of some/many!
As for Marie - ya'll know she went on stage in Vegas the day after burying her "gift"?! And she's being hailed for her "bravery" at being so disrespectful.
I just wonder if his birthmom ever met him before he passed.
It seems there is a lot of judgment going on here with very little real information. In every situation there are many circumstances only known to those intimately involved. Let's give each other the benefit of the doubt, even Marie Osmond.
Oh! Do you know Marie Osmond?
I am not so much judging as stating my opinion of ANYONE going to work that day after burying their child. I herd her claim that the Osmonds deal with music, but she was join too and I just feel it's in poor taste. As public figure she is opnen to such comments. And if she didn't want to hear she should have sat on her own need to do it, for APPEARANCE sake, if not for respect for her son. And that is my personal opinion.
I don't judge it s either good or bad.
My sis-in-law's adult son died suddenly in a car-wreck a few years ago...she did not return to work for at least a month after. And not long after that, she had a nervous breakdown and had to be hospitalized...her grief over the loss of her son, was just too much for her to bear. A best friend of mine her adult son died suddenly last year..she too could not return to work immediately. When I spoke to her recently on the phone, her grief was palatable over the phone..my heart broke for her. Both of these women I have known for most of my life..they birthed and raised their sons to adulthood...maybe that's the difference between them and Marie Osmond?
People commit suicide for a number of reasons - many nothing to do with adoption.
People also grieve differently - much of it having nothing to do with adoption. Some are in shock and denial after experiencing a death. There are many differently coping mechanisms. But I felt it was in poor taste nd disrespectful what Marie did, regardless of how she feels. For all we know she is a basket case and cries continuously when not on the stage. That doesn't make it better IMO.
For those who are questioning Marie's motives if you want to call them that I would like to shed some light on Marie. I think it was a heartfelt genuine act of kindness that Marie invited Michael's birthmother to the funeral. Marie has a big heart and is a very genuine nice person. Marie is a godly woman who loves the Lord.
As far as Marie going back to work are you aware that she was shaking before the show on Tuesday and Donny told her to cancel, she did not as she wanted to try and go on. She gave a tremendous heartfelt performance and basically made it through teary eyed and full of emotion dedicating the entire show to her son and a song to him calling him "my angel."
Marie is aware if she cancels shows she is affecting the lives of the everyone involved in the show. Marie did not do the usual Meet & Greet with the fans after the show, only Donny did.
Let's be slow to judge.
There's a huge difference between being a performing artist and having a normal job. At the level that Marie Osmond is, if she cancels a show she costs a lot of people a lot of money. She's also been trained to be disciplined and just work no matter what happened. I don't think you can say that she doesn't care just because she honoured her contract.
I also think that she was gracious about her son's mother is something to be respected. I never would have gotten that from my daughter's adoptive mother.
Let's not forget that she is a mother who has lost her son to suicide. How awful must that be. The Osmonds are a very hard working show biz family. They are trained not to give power to their emotions and cancel work.
My husband went and played piano in a gig the day his father died, it doesn't mean that he didn't care. It helped him to just keep going.
I'm tired of all this judging, especially when all I can see from this is that Marie Osmond is a decent person.
KimKim,
As a mother who lost my daughter twice - to adoption and then to suicide - I have the utmost compassion for anyone who loses a loved one that way.
I also recognized Marie's inviting the mother at all - with shock and awe and have stated that it was far more than my daughter's adoptive mother did when my daughter died.
I am not judging. I am feeling pain for a child who I feel was disrespected by her being on stage the next day. it is my opinion, my feelings. Perhaps I am TOO personally involved, but it felt like smack in the face.
It's ok that you feel like that. I don't think she meant disrespect by working. Being on stage is work and not something fun. I work as a performer, sometimes it is fun but often it's really hard work trying to looked thrilled to be doing something.
We were expected to go and work and be normal after relinquishing weren't we. How insane is that?
Just because I see it differently doesn't make your viewpoint wrong.
I love your blog by the way I think you are a powerful writer.
p.s. I am really sorry about your daughter too, that is beyond awful that you suffered such a loss.
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