Adoption issues are often portrayed, not even in an attempt to be fair and balanced journalistic news, but as emotional lifestyle page drama, heavily weighed in favor of the hurt party which is more often than not a disappointed, sad, frustrated, broken hearted prospective adopter - with an empty nursery and a broken heart. They tell how they duped by an expectant mother who "dared" to "change her mind" and "back out" of the "deal" after she was paid money for her support during her pregnancy.
When adoptees or natural mothers stories are told, they are often labeled angry or "bitter"- an attack equal to being biased and unbalanced.
As a writer I am faced with these criticisms all the time. I am accused ot pinitn "all" adoptions as negative because I focus on those that are.
Yet. those who support an end to domestic violence, such as National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, are not chastised for not including in their writings that most spouses do not cause such harm.
The simply state :
Domestic abuse is a pattern of coercive control that one person exercises over another. Battering is a behavior that physically harms, arouses fear, prevents a partner from doing what they wish or forces them to behave in ways they do not want.Another advocacy website tells us that:
Battering includes the use of physical and sexual violence, threats and intimidation, emotional abuse and economic deprivation.
Domestic violence can happen to anyone of any race, age, sexual orientation, religion or gender. It can happen to couples who are married, living together or who are dating. Domestic violence affects people of all socioeconomic backgrounds and education levels.
Domestic abuse, also known as spousal abuse, occurs when one person in an intimate relationship or marriage tries to dominate and control the other person. Domestic abuse that includes physical violence is called domestic violence.Sadly, it is not just the emotional first-person pieces...but even those attempting to present factual advise on adoption such as todays entry by Jeneen Interlandi on a Newsweek blog.
Domestic violence and abuse are used for one purpose and one purpose only: to gain and maintain total control over you. An abuser doesn’t “play fair.” Abusers use fear, guilt, shame, and intimidation to wear you down and keep you under their thumb. Your abuser may also threaten you, hurt you, or hurt those around you.
Domestic violence and abuse do not discriminate. It happens among heterosexual couples and in same-sex partnerships. It occurs within all age ranges, ethnic backgrounds, and financial levels. And while women are more commonly victimized, men are also abused—especially verbally and emotionally.
Newsweek prints this totally unsubstantiated biased piece of garbage filled with false and misleading information that makes adoption out to be a predatory scheme for those wanting a child with no strings attached. I would think this piece would be an embarrassment to many who have adopted.
Interlandi either intentionally or out of total ignorance confuses the right of a mother not to place her child for adoption with attempting to revoke the decision father it is made and states ridiculous amounts of times that allegedly one has to do this in - MONTHS ...even after prospective adopters have paid her expenses! The nerve!
Most states allow birth parents to reclaim their children after the children have been placed with adoptive families, for time periods ranging from a few days in some states to several months in others. Critics of international adoption say this rarely happens.She touts international adoption as the solution without mentioning any potential danger there. And this passes for journalism while I am accused of bias! And she accuses those, such as Elizabeth Samuels, who report the legal facts and unbised truth as being "critics of international adoption."