FirstMother has an interesting blog post expressing her annoyance with adoptees who express interest in obtaining "information" without the need to search or meet their progenitors.
She suggests that the cause for this phenom may be fear of rejection and loyalty to their adoptive family.
In addition, I see two major contributing factors. First is adoption agency policies of offering non-identifying information as if these crumbs - often untrue - will satisfy the itch and the adoptee will go back home and resume his role of being the good adoptee and stop upsetting his parent with his ingratitude and disloyalty. This aspect we have little to no control over except to get the word out that such info is so often false. So, being overjoyed at finding out you are of Irish descent, for instance, may be in fact a sick joke.
This leads to the second contributing factor which puts the blame squarely on US...OUR movement. Our lack of focusing clearly and loudly enough on the HUMAN RIGHTS aspect of a group of people being discriminated against and denied the same rights as others in regard to access to their own birth certificate.
The fears FirstMother addresses are both associated with search and contact. Focus on the human rights aspect and separate it from search, reunion, ethnic and medical info and you eliminate the fears of rejection and being disloyal.
Thinking as I often do about why gay rights movement is more successful than we are, and why they are less afraid t stand up for themselves...I think that P-Flag has had a hand in that. It has helped to educate the parents of gays to better understand that they (the parents) did nothing wrong; that it's no one's "fault" that their kid is gay, and it's nothing to be ashamed of - or evil!
The more parents of gays came to accept their children, the easier it is for the offspring to stand up and shout for their rights! The more they speak out for the RIGHTS, the more the public understands and separates the human rights aspect of the issue from the uncomfortable - to some - sexual aspect of homosexuality.
This, is a workable model for us: helping adoptive parents and the public understand that the issue of equal access has nothing to with GRATITUDE or loyalty or a shortcoming of them or or their paenting. It would help, I believe alleviate adoptive parents' fears of alienation of affection...or being relegated to "glorified baby sitters."
Alleviate adopters fears and you eliminate a great deal of the adoptee fears.
Leave search and reunion out of the conversation and eliminate fear of rejection. Leave medical and other records out and you have a pure human rights equality issue that everyone can understand without being labeled psychologically unbalanced.
CONTEST: Come up with a rally cry. A brief - catchy - phrase that gets across the point above in red. Something on the order of "I'm here, I'm queer, get used to it!" That phrase seems to me to have been a critical turning point in the gay rights movement (although surprisingly I found no info on it in Wikipedia or otherwise on the Internet).
The winner gets a better shot at obtaining his or her OBC!!