Saturday, October 17, 2009

Adoption Agencies Continually Re-Victimize Us!

The following is one participant's description of part of a Lutheran Family Services required 3-day (big whoop) class for prospective adopters:

we are introduced to three birthmothers (as the agency calls them) who have placed through Lutheran. The first is a 17-year old with her father, a kind-hearted bear of a police sergeant. Together, they tell her story -- even the dad gets teary. She’d given birth 4 months before, and is still very sad. She is in touch with her baby's adoptive family and is still coming to terms with her choice. There is much visible pain. It's hard to see.
How dare an adoption agency exploit this child's pain like this?

When going to make pre-death funeral arrangements, would you enjoy or benefit in any way from being introduced to a newly grieving widow crying her eyes out while telling you which coffin and service she chose?  Would this help you or the new widow in any way whatsoever?

How about days after your possibly terminal cancer diagnosis is confirmed being asked to visit the waiting room of your oncologist to talk to patients awaiting the results of their biopsies to find out if they have cancer?  Helpful to either of you?

I can fully understand "using" - in the fullest extent of the word - "happy birthmothers." trotting out the ones who are pleased with their "choice and content with their "decision" - all of course still within the first year "honeymoon."  But why this?

Punishment?  Is that why her father was implicit in it? To teach her a lesson on what happens to girls who "do it"?  To rub her nose in her pain?

And, as if this lacked dignity and purpose, the PAP blogging about all this tells of yet another mother who is "straight out of Jerry Springer. She carries drama around her like a cloud – she’s been a victim of every person in her life. I wonder how I would react if we ended matched with someone so dramatic." This judgment, BTW, by a woman who calls her blog Drama2BMama - no joke!  I guess drama is OK when it's you and need to complain to the world about your infertility how hard it is for you to adopt...but those who loose their kids cause life sometimes sux, ought to just shut up already!  Indeed, what WILL she do if she is "matched" with someone unpleasant?

What did you expect? A Rhodes scholar with all her ducks in a row?  Let's check out compassion at the door, and bring in the clowns and the judgements!

It all conjures visions of old traveling Freak Shows.

Step right up and see the two-headed woman drop her baby right here on the stage and walk away!  See the snake woman hand you her reptile boy as a gift as you shrink back in repulsion!  Watch the crippled bearded kid cry as he limps across the stage for your pleasure and delight!  And please don't feed the starving Ethiopian children as you stroll pass their cages, they're just here in case you want to bring home a souvenir.

And let us not forget the admission paid by the PAPS for all this fun entertainment and education! Lutheran Family Services gets paid - of that can you can rest assured -  but the "actors" donate their services for the good of adoption!  To spread the JOY!

URGH! Sorry if I over-reacted but it kinda ummm freaked me out!

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