Thursday, January 20, 2011

Adoption & Choice: God's Plan or Man's Plan?

Yoon's Blur blog explores the issue of Adoption and Choice: God's Plan or Man's Plan? stating:
"I understand a God who gives people free will even though he is often pained and grieved by their choices in how they exercise that free will....referring to 'luck' or 'God’s plan' is such a cop-out to me that frees people from taking personal responsibility for their actions and their role, not only in adoption, but in life."

The author then makes these excellent points: 
  • "As long as adoption is “God’s work” or “God’s plan” people will not feel compelled to reform it or to address the root causes of poverty and social and economic injustice that often serve as its substrate." 
  • "And how many nut jobs have claimed the same thing–-that they were God’s tool to execute God’s plan or have used the Bible or other religious texts to justify heinous and unjust acts?"

I replied:

I totally agree that God does not orchestrate poverty or any other tragedy that lead to a family being torn apart by adoption and mothers suffering lifelong grief...I find it sanctimonious to claim that your child was "ordained" or "meant" to be offensive as Rosie O'Donnell allegedly telling one of hr adopted children that God had placed him in the "wrong" belly, as if God make mistakes!

HOWEVER, I am also uncomfortable with any assumption that relinquishing a child for adoption - or having one's parental rights terminated - is a "choice." I think you have set up and unrealistic either/or dichotomy and in doing do eradicated the most common scenario: coercion and exploitation.

Both domestically and internationally people's hardships are exploited in order to commodify their children to meet a demand for adoption. This is neither God plan, nor is it their choice...any more than being a victim of any crime if a choice or God's plan.

As for Biblical references to adoption, please see this blog post and this one.

Add your comments here or at the original site, here.


*Peach* said...


Stephanie said...

Playing the "gods will" card in adoption IS a cop out... for adopters to go along with the fantasy that someone else's flesh and blood was "meant for" them. Their god isn't a very nice fella, however, because he sure doesn't seem to care much for the women who suffer without THEIR children, all so someone else could gain.

Upon the first meeting with my son, after finding him myself after being shut out in a bogus "open adoption", his words to me were that "god put me where I was supposed to be". Those weren't his words. They came straight from the mouths of the people who conned me out if him with lies and false promises.

This is a topic I take VERY personal...

Mirah Riben said...

I know all who feel "called" to adopt are not infertile...but, I remember a time when those who were unable to conceive accepted THAT as God's will and plan for them!

Von said...

So do I Mirah.Great post.

Robin said...

I believe that back a few generations that if a couple didn't marry until they were approaching 40, they assumed that they would be childless. I don't think they assumed they could get someone else's child to complete their family.

Anonymous said...

"I know all who feel "called" to adopt are not infertile...but, I remember a time when those who were unable to conceive accepted THAT as God's will and plan for them!"

THAT is what I always want to say to people who spout the "god's plan" crap. Logically, being infertile seems a much more "god-given" condition than buying a child from a broker who coerces a woman who is down on her luck.


Mirah Riben said...

Amen and hallelujah!

RussiaToday Apr 29, 2010 on Russian Adoption Freeze

Russi Today: America television Interview 4/16/10 Regarding the Return of Artyem, 7, to Russia alone

RT: Russia-America TV Interview 3/10

Korean Birthmothers Protest to End Adoption

Motherhood, Adoption, Surrender, & Loss

Who Am I?

Bitter Winds

Adoption and Truth Video

Adoption Truth

Birthparents Never Forget