Child Myths: Straight Talk About Child Development
"She Had a Lot of Trouble Bonding": "Nightline" and the Russian Adoption Mess
The media perpetuate self-fulfilling prophecies about adoption.
"...the term "bonding", when it is used at all, technically refers to the positive emotions and concerns an adult feels for a child; one would not expect a young child, adopted or otherwise, to experience "bonding" to an adult, because "bonding" refers to the caregiver's emotions and motivations. "Bonding" is inferred when one person is seen to be concerned with and pre-occupied with the needs of another, and there seems to be no parallel child behavior that could be interpreted as meaning anything about the adoptee's ease or trouble in "bonding"."
I have always found it appalling that boding, attachment, and lack thereof were used to "blame" children. Would you blame a blind child for not seeing and thus spilling things and bumping into things? Would you blame a deaf person for not hearing you? It is just as perposterous to take an institutionalized child and expect them to know how to attach to a stranger - and to expect it within weeks or months!
Just as with cases of women who dupe multiple couples into thinking they had a baby to offer for adoption...this too is a manifestation of the fact that adoption has become a business transaction. You pay - you get a product. Might be a domestic or maybe you prefer an import. Pre-owned, but certainly certified as being in good condition! And when you are not satisfied, you return to sender!
I wonder if Ms. Hansen was (is?) planning to sue WACAP agency for wrongful adoption? After all, she was victimized - lied to - misled - not given the accurate CARFAX report! n fact it is as if the car salesman turned the odometer back!
There is no such thing as a failed adoption. The term failed adoption still puts some of the onus on the child being the cause of the problem. No, there is no such thing as a failed adoption - only adoptive parents who have failed and failed miserably and shamefully to uphold their promise and responsibility as parents.