Sunday, April 11, 2010

Recommended Reading

Jean Mercer is a developmental psychologist with a special interest in parent-infant relationships presents a critical look at Nightline and RAD.


Child Myths: Straight Talk About Child Development

"She Had a Lot of Trouble Bonding": "Nightline" and the Russian Adoption Mess
The media perpetuate self-fulfilling prophecies about adoption.

"...the term "bonding", when it is used at all, technically refers to the positive emotions and concerns an adult feels for a child; one would not expect a young child, adopted or otherwise, to experience "bonding" to an adult, because "bonding" refers to the caregiver's emotions and motivations. "Bonding" is inferred when one person is seen to be concerned with and pre-occupied with the needs of another, and there seems to be no parallel child behavior that could be interpreted as meaning anything about the adoptee's ease or trouble in "bonding"."


I have always found it appalling that boding, attachment, and lack thereof were used to "blame" children. Would you blame a blind child for not seeing and thus spilling things and bumping into things? Would you blame a deaf person for not hearing you? It is just as perposterous to take an institutionalized child and expect them to know how to attach to a stranger - and to expect it within weeks or months!

Just as with cases of women who dupe multiple couples into thinking they had a baby to offer for adoption...this too is a manifestation of the fact that adoption has become a business transaction. You pay - you get a product. Might be a domestic or maybe you prefer an import. Pre-owned, but certainly certified as being in good condition! And when you are not satisfied, you return to sender!

I wonder if Ms. Hansen was (is?) planning to sue WACAP agency for wrongful adoption? After all, she was victimized - lied to - misled - not given the accurate CARFAX report! n fact it is as if the car salesman turned the odometer back!

There is no such thing as a failed adoption. The term failed adoption still puts some of the onus on the child being the cause of the problem. No, there is no such thing as a failed adoption - only adoptive parents who have failed and failed miserably and shamefully to uphold their promise and responsibility as parents.

4 comments:

Von said...

Absolutely could not agree more, thanks for coming out and stating it.I'll put a link on my blog to this post, hope that's ok.

triona said...

Ooh, there we go... KIDFAX reports! Find out if that merchandise is defective before you buy it!

Your analogy to people who are blind or deaf is apt. It's not the kid who fails, it's the adoptive parents who fail to stand by the commitment they've made. Yes, some kids are hard to manage, but I think there is too much of this "re-homing" or "adoption disruption" or whatever you want to call it. Too easy to return to sender... in the case of the Russian 7-year-old, quite literally.

Mirah Riben said...

Sure! Links are always OK! :-)

Mirah Riben said...

In domestic adoption, propsetcive adopters receive full medical and social histories - liek obtining a pedigree of a dog.

Savvy international adopters contact doctors who specialize in analyzing medical reports and advising them. The book "The Brotherhood of Joseph: A Father's Memoir of Infertility and Adoption in the 21st Century" ironically by Brooks HANSEN...details how they fax the reports and photos to the doctor from Russia and get a yah or nay before committing.

RussiaToday Apr 29, 2010 on Russian Adoption Freeze

Russi Today: America television Interview 4/16/10 Regarding the Return of Artyem, 7, to Russia alone

RT: Russia-America TV Interview 3/10

Korean Birthmothers Protest to End Adoption

Motherhood, Adoption, Surrender, & Loss

Who Am I?

Bitter Winds

Adoption and Truth Video

Adoption Truth

Birthparents Never Forget