Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Paralyzed Mom of Triplets Seeks to See her Kids

Los Angeles mother, Abbie Dorn, who childbirth left unable to move or speak — and possibly to understand — is the focus of an unusual, emotional court case to decide if she has visitation rights with her 3-year-old triplets.

A trial is set to start next month after a Los Angeles County judge on Tuesday ruled the parents of Abbie Dorn can fight for their daughter's right to see her children.

Dorn, 34, gave birth to a girl, Esti, and boys Reuvi and Yossi in 2006 at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center. She suffered brain damage from complications of blood loss after a doctor nicked her uterus during delivery, according to a malpractice lawsuit that was settled for nearly $8 million.

Dorn was left unable to move, talk, eat or drink, and now lives with her parents, Susan and Paul Cohen, in Myrtle Beach, S.C. She receives hours of daily therapy at a cost of about $33,000 a month, funded by the malpractice settlement.

She and her husband, Dan Dorn, divorced, and he lives with the triplets in Los Angeles. He has refused to allow the children to see their mother, arguing that a visit would be too traumatic for the youngsters. He "worries the children would feel guilty if they saw their mother and knew their births led to her condition, although he would not object to their visiting her when they are older."

This argument is so stupid. I hope a judge sees through it and insist upon allowing visitation.

1. Abbie could gone by the time her ex-husband deems her kids are "old enough."

2. They are not going to think about being the "cue" of her paralyzed at 3 years of age. One way or another, if they ever bear such guilt, it will be when they are older.

It's their reality! What about the damage to them being denied? That's likely to kick this father in the ass!

AND...he wants child support from her, his way of trying to cash in on her settlement, I suppose!

92.1% of those responding to an MSNBC poll, so far have said: Absolutely, she should be allowed visitation. She's still their mother and the father should not keep them apart. The kids have right to know her.


Von said...

She's their mother, he's their father, it's not our business.

chandra said...

SHE is their mother. She lost her ability to live a normal life for the birth of those babies and now she can't see them? It is her right as their mother to see them, touch them, and love them. Her whole life falls apart and her 'husbands' answer is to leave her AND refuse to let her see her kids. Now he wants his crippled ex to pay him child support yet he refuses her visitation. Not very nice.....

choose joy said...

It's always intriguing to me when adults project their complicated opinions on children and assume the child sees the world as they do. As you said, Mirah, it is their reality. I imagine the father might be surprised at how well the children would deal with this situation. I know in our family, with our adopted children having completely open adoptions, we were told by adults that our children would be confused. Not so at all! If anything, they have given my husband and myself clarity on the beauty and simplicity of this situation - two families loving one child unconditionally. Children are wiser than we give them credit for - geniuses really, until our society corrupts them! Just my opinion...Jennifer

Mirah said...

The more i think about it, I cannot any judge denying the visitation. Imagine her passing away without them ever seeing her? Then they'd have guilt and resentment on top of anything the father fears. No fears are not a reason to deny visitation. She is their mother.

And after all, what does he tell them about where their mother is? If he tells the truth, that she is in the hospital or a care facility or living with her parents...wouldn't they ask why they cannot see her?? If not now, won;t they in the not to distant future?

If he is lying - heaven forbid - and saying she's dead, won't they ask at some point how she died?

Lies are unhealthy. The truth, no matter how hard, is the truth. Kids often internalize guilt about their parents divorce - do you not tell them?

If he fears repercussions - let him get them into therapy!

That's my ruling, if i were the judge!

beth said...

This is a crime that this mom is not allowed to see her own children!! I am ashamed of this so called father not to let this happen. A very selfish father! -- My mother-in-law is brain dead and lives in her home with her mom. She has been this way for 29 years now. She looks very much like Abby only my mother-in-law cannot communicate at all. She has a urine cath as well as a cath that is in her abdomen that feeds her. Sometimes she makes noises like she is crying out. She is total care and has 24 hr. nursing care. -- I have 4 kids and the great gma. baby sat all my kids so my kids saw my mom-in-law all the time! They were not scared. They actually would 'help' take care of her. They would pat her feet or rub her legs and our 4th child would even help wash and comb her hair. They have all taken turns with crepping her. A treatment that requires you to do percussions on her chest and back to keep her lungs clear. -- All my kids talk to her....have sat on her bed and have even layed on her bed next to her. They love her and know that she loves them and know that she would have LOVED being a gma to them!

My kids are now 16, 14, 11 and 8 and they are proud to be her grandchildren! My 8 yr old still likes to help with her cares!

IF that dad would have allowed them to visit since the beginning this would just be a way of life for them with their mom who deserves a right to see her child no matter if you believe Abby is aware or not. are much more excepting than ppl think. Obviously the dad isn't at all. What a shame!! And what a shame for the maternal grandparents as well!

The accident happened to my mother-in-law back when her 4 kids were 7, 14 yr. old twins and my husband was 16. That was in the beginning when she had many tubes in and out of her. All 4 kids were very scared...mostly cause they 'lost' their mom...but they all wanted to be with her. My husband who is now 45 talks to his mom....caresses her face and head...looks at her in her eyes from 2 inches away and tell her how much he loves her. No matter what state she is in.....SHE IS his mom!!!

I certainly hope those children will be allowed to see their mom....the person who carried, loved and adored them and then was never given the right to see or be near them. A traggic, traggic thing!

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