Parenting is Forever: Through Sickness and Health, for Better and Worse

Bravo! Well Said!

Excerpts from a father of troubled teens from foster care writes:

The main lesson to remember is that parenting—however it comes about– is a lifelong commitment on the part of the parent, not the child. Whether your child ever reciprocates, thanks you, or tells you that she loves you is beside the point. Adoption is not about us parents; it’s about meeting children’s needs....Wounded adoptees deserve no less —whether as young dependents or in adulthood. And they can’t ever hope to recover from trauma if we break the solemn promise we made to them when we became a family.....

Hansen’s actions have exposed a few of the flaws that many of us have long viewed as an unethical international adoption industry. This is an industry that rakes in billions of dollars as it continues to damage children and exploit birth mothers....International adoption is supported by the racism and classism that prevent many prospective parents from considering adopting American kids from foster care closer to home. Then, after charging families as much as $20,000 or more per child, this industry does very little to educate parents about the challenges they should expect and prepare to confront during the parenting journey....

The worst of it is that the adoption industry focuses primarily on the desires of parents, not the needs of children and their original families....

in order to secure the future of adoption, we need to open our eyes and see adoption for what it really is. If, as a parent, you reach a point of disillusionment and feel that you want to reject something, instead of throwing your kid away, how about rejecting the fantasy we all have been encouraged to believe?

Standing ovation! John Raible is an outspoken and nationally-known adult adoptee, Professor Raible has appeared on television talk shows such as the Joan Rivers Show and Sally Jesse Raphael, and has been interviewed by numerous media outfits, including Essence Magazine, the Los Angeles Times, the Wall Street Journal, and BBC Radio’s World Service.

Read the entire piece here.