Monday, January 18, 2010

Misconceptions About Adoption?

Here's a story you will want to comment on:

Misconceptions Blamed For Drop In Adoptions
Many facing an unplanned pregnancy don't consider it
Adopting a child can bring a welcome addition to a family while providing a loving alternative for a mother going through an unplanned pregnancy. Yet, adoptions are on the decline and one expert believes misconceptions are partially to blame.

“The birth mom, they have a choice to become a parent up until 48 hours after the birth ..." 

Commenters are calling "out-of-wedlock" pregnancies "shameful."

Seems the biggest misconception is that 48 hours is ample time for the magnitude of a lifelong loss to register, especially when all one is being given is one-sided glorification of adoption instead of  impartial information about the side effects for mothers, fathers and adopted children...including that open adoption is unenforceable.

Another blog you might want to share your thoughts at is one discussing fees for adoption at this link.

My reply to a mother concerned about her adopted child finding her writing the last check to the adoption agency and concocting a myriad of possible ways to exp;ain it:

If only it were all such a sweet fairy tale fit for a child’s ears!

The truth is a bit less warm and fuzzy and not such a win-win as wonderful people helping both sides equally and getting paid for their charitable assistance. The truth is that all costs of adoption are paid by those desiring a child. That turns adoption from being about finding homes for children who need them, to finding children for those willing to pay for the.

The truth is that adoption agencies are in business and have bottom lines to meet and the redistribution of children is what pays those costs and profit margin.

The end result is that children and their best interests are not the prime focus, they are instead merely a commodity – a much desired and in-demand commodity (depending of course on their age, race and health).

The fact that al fees are paid by those wanting child, likewise puts the expectant mother in a position of indebtedness. Many are told – or led to believe – that if they decide to parent their child, they would be responsible to re-pay medical and other allowable “living expenses.” They are totally powerless because all fees – including any counseling or legal fees – are paid for by those with an interest in obtaining their child. They thus receive one-sided “counseling” telling them that adoption is the “right” “choice” with no information about the lifelong effects of such a loss (for them and their child) and that open adoption is unenforceable.

The reality is far less a pretty little win-win fairy tale, making these are issues one would hesitate their child to realize someday – as they will, eventually.

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