The holidays are a happy time for me ~ with underlying sadness as I wish with all my heart that my family included ALL of my children.
This year, I am surprised that the loss seems so much greater ~ even though this is the second Christmas I will celebrate knowing that my son is alive and well. This year I am sad that he is not fully a part of my life; nor I fully a part of his.
Actually, studies indicate that the pain and anger of loss intensify rather than diminish with time for many mothers. Also, many mothers experience post-reunion depression as finding their lost child - now an adult - brings a flood of all they've missed. Before reunion, we fantasize about our lost "baby" and then we see them in the flesh no longer a baby and are acutely aware of all we've mossed.
I wish you strength to get through...and perhaps the ability to channel some of your sadness into activism.
2 comments:
The holidays are a happy time for me ~ with underlying sadness as I wish with all my heart that my family included ALL of my children.
This year, I am surprised that the loss seems so much greater ~ even though this is the second Christmas I will celebrate knowing that my son is alive and well. This year I am sad that he is not fully a part of my life; nor I fully a part of his.
Susie,
Actually, studies indicate that the pain and anger of loss intensify rather than diminish with time for many mothers. Also, many mothers experience post-reunion depression as finding their lost child - now an adult - brings a flood of all they've missed. Before reunion, we fantasize about our lost "baby" and then we see them in the flesh no longer a baby and are acutely aware of all we've mossed.
I wish you strength to get through...and perhaps the ability to channel some of your sadness into activism.
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