- "Police: Girl Tried to Poison Adoptive Family With Bug Spray"
- "A 13-year-old girl is accused of poisoning her adoptive family in the Orlando, Florida area."
One absurd CafeMom blogger points out that it is 2010, after all! This bugged-out blogger writes: "We get it. She was adopted. Which means the people she tried to poison are her family. Not her adoptive family."
No. They are her adoptive family, NOT her real, natural family that she was born into. The law and biology say so! You don't have to believe in evolution or in God to believe that fact.
It's the huge, enormous, large tusked elephant in the room.
And a girl of 13 KNOWS IT! She knows it every day of her life when she looks into a mirror and when she looks into the face of the stranger she is told to call Mommy. She knows it when she learns about procreation and when her class does a family tree assignment. She may also know it when she is teased at school, or told by "cousins" that she is not related, which many adoptees are made to endure, albeit silently
And yes, it is 2010 when the majority of non-relative, non step-parent adoptions are inter-country and a majority of those are inter-racial as well -- making it pretty darn obvious to one and all that adoption played a role in the formation of this newly re-constructed family unit! It's no secret, nor should it be.
David Kirschner wrote a BRILLIANT article in the Fall 20110 Bastard Quarterly, reviewing the DVD of Orphan. In it he gets to the root of this fau-phobia or faubia about revealing the truth of one's adopted status when it is not in a way that flatters or nobilizes the adopters for rescuing a wretched unwanted street urchin...and of course that real reason is that it dents the flow of kids and thus cuts into the livelihoods of those who depend upon the redistribution of kids for fun and profit!
Yes, it's the adoptive parents who are screaming in protest...but that is because they are vested in justifying their roles in perpetuating the demand that creates the supply and the corruption, coercion and exploitation it takes to keep up the supply. When one adopts they seem to automatically gain membership into the choir and as part of the price they must pay, they must sing out loudly in praise and become door-knocking, blog writing evangelic proselytizers for the joys of adoption, Hallelujah, brother...pass the tambourine and the collection plate!
The choir leader and papal head of the religious zealousness, no other than the NCFA. The church of REBIRTH through adoption - with actual birth certificates to prove it!
So much a part of adoption is this flag waving and drum beating that adoptive parents who speak out against any aspect of adoption...who dare to claim the King has no clothes - are ostracized and called bad parents! It's a sacrilege, after all.
At the recent conference at St. Johns University in NY, David Smolin was one of the keynote speakers. he described how he had and wife discovered that the sisters they adopted from India to add to their already large family, had questionable beginnings. It was alleged that they were stolen from their mother. When the girls learned enough English they told the Smolins that they were told by the orphanage never to reveal the truth.
The Smolins went back to their very reputable state-side agency for answers and were blocked every step of the way. The mother who had allegedly been available to sign final papers just three months prior suddenly became unable to be found! And the Smolins were told the truth didn't matter. It was their job to help their daughters cope with what was and their continued pursuit of their biological family indicated their lack of commitment to parent the girls! They were bad parents for seeking the truth!
The message is clear: lies are to be protected and the truth kept secret in the upside down backwards world of adoption. the truth is only to be revealed at the behest of the adopters - as EVERYTHING in adoption is under THEIR total control and caters to them and their wishes. When it is in their favor to reveal it, when it makes them shine in the light of nobility as saviors...Hallelujah and Amen...let's BRAG to everyone that these are our ADOPTED children!
At the same recent conference Adam Pertman (EBDAI) led a panel discussion on adoption in the media and this very subject was discussed: When is it appropriate to reveal a person's adoption status in a news article and when is it as insignificant - or even in poor taste - as revealing one's race?
The answer was very simple: When it is germane to the story.
A very young girl attempting to kill her mother is not a common occurrence. It's news. The fact that the mother is not her biological mother, or that the child may have a "checkered" or troubled background (i.e. multiple foster care placements) prior to being adopted is likewise quite relevant to the story! or, she may, after all, have "bad blood"! Inquiring minds want to know, and hopefully further new reports might even reveal some more juicy details.
Shook-up CafeMom blogger wants us to know that biologically related children kill their parents. Yes, it even has a name: parenticide. But it is also true that there are a disproportionate number of adoptees who have committed these types of crimes. David Kirschner knows this all too well as he has been involved in the trials and or sentencing phase of many of such cases, explaining the role of adopted child syndrome as a causal factor, as a history of spousal abuse is a factor in some spousal murders. Also making it relevant.
Dr Herbert Weider, a psychiatrist: "The traditional blood-kin family is composed of one mother, one father, and their child or children. The adoptive family is composed of two mothers, two fathers and a child common to them. Although society, and to some extent adoptive parents, would like to pre-tend that it is exactly like a traditional family, it is the differences that are extremely significant in each member's life. [emphasis added]"
Weider was speaking about it being important the importance of the difference being recognized within the family. However, when a crime takes place, when one is identified as a suspect or us charged with a crime...the ever shrinking post Internet "private" becomes public.
It is germane to a news story when an abused, tortured or murdered child is a step child or an adopted child of the abuser. Familial connections are important!
The answer lies right in the question: What Does Adoption Have to Do With Poisoning Your Mom? Everything. It is part of their relation to one another as much as the fact they are mother and child. If a husband kills his wife, is it relevant that they were just married a week ago? If a wide murders or attempts to murder her husband, is it relevant that she was a mail order bride?
Adoption, adoptees, adoptive parents are not subject to, nor do they need or want, special rules that apply just to them Adoption is NOT sacrosanct! Let's stop infanticizing all the parties and "protecting" them from the truth and their reality.