Monday, June 21, 2010

Mothers Who Relinquish are a "Serious Threat"

Just LOVE being callaed a "serious threat", don't you?

Facebook poses risk to adopted children and families, charity warns

Facebook and other social websites pose a serious threat to adopted children, according to a charity.

The British Association for Adoption & Fostering claims that the internet is making it easy for young people to trace their natural parents and other relatives, by searching for their names or photos.
Meanwhile birth parents are able to find babies they gave up for adoption years earlier.
It bypasses the safeguards that are usually put in place, and can distress or upset those who are tracked down, the charity warns.

If children were taken away from violent or abusive parents, they could be placed in “real danger” by their presence online, it is feared.

Meanwhile mothers who kept their pregnancy secret could be put at risk if the children they put up for adoption get in touch with relatives.

David Holmes, Chief Executive of BAAF said: "Social media is here to stay – we can not put the genie back in the bottle. We need to learn how to deal with it in relation to contact issues with birth families.

“We strongly urge adoptive parents to familiarize themselves with social media, so they are able to talk to their children with confidence about all the issues.

"The use of social media needs to be incorporated more generally into understanding the importance of a child's curiosity about their origins, and how this changes over time. Adoption agencies have developed great expertise about this, and social networking needs to be incorporated into that expertise. Adopters and adoption agencies need to become tech-savvy so they can talk with confidence while recognizing the natural curiosity and the need for information.”
BAAF has now published a guide called Facing up to Facebook to help adoptive parents, which suggests that they ensure that their children use the popular website safely by putting privacy settings in place and avoiding using profile photos or posting information about where they live.

The charity is also holding a conference for social workers in London so they can educate families in the risks of internet use.

Under British law, adopted children must wait until they are 18 before they can apply for their original birth certificates although they can sometimes maintain contact with their birth family, directly or through intermediaries.

Since 2005, birth relatives including parents have had the legal right to ask an adoption agency to let their adopted children that they want to get in touch.

I found my daughter in 1979 or 1980. No computer! You cannot stop those separated by adoption from reuniting, much as laws try to impede the process....a process as natural s anyone else searching for their genealogy.

We are not a threat and on behalf of the hundreds and hundreds loving mothers who were (and continue to be) pressured to relinquish because it is the loving, unselfish thing to do to provide their child a better life I highly resent being called a "serious treat."

When I located my daughter's new identity I had the courtesy to approach her adoptive parents first as she was not yet 18.

The vast majority of reunions however take place between ADULTS.

There are FAR, FAR greater risks out there in the world than assuming that one's birth parent is violent. Putting that fear in the head of children is risky as it makes them fear they may inherited something awful. What about children of divorce, where one of the parents lost custody because of abuse? Are the specially protected?

If a parent was abusive - get a restraining order preventing contact! Don't pre-judge ALL mothers!

The U.S. and EU nations need to get out of people's personal lives! Adopted people are no different form non-adopted and need no special protection. There are sufficient laws to protect us all from harassment or stalking.

Don't label loving. caring mothers as criminals.

How can you both promote adoption for expectant mothers and treat them as a "serious threat" to their own child?

Where is RightTo Life fighting this as causing more abortions?


Anonymous said...

More on that:

Evelyn Robinson said...

As a mother who lost her son to adoption in the UK, I am so delighted to hear that social workers there are losing their power over family members who have been separated by adoption. I have been complaining for years about how their adoption laws patronise and disempower those people. They are an absolute insult and it's wonderful to hear that people are actually taking control and managing their own affairs. If the social work profession had recognised this years ago and supported legislation which respects and empowers family members separated by adoption, then people might actually have gone to them for help and support. Because they did not challenge the laws which gave them all the power in reunion situations, people are now making contact without their help. It'll be interesting to see the social work profession's response.

Evelyn Robinson said...

To clarify my previous post about the power of social workers in the UK, the situation is that mothers may enquire about their adopted children, once the children are adults. However, they may or may not be given any information. It all depends on a social worker who "assesses" them to decide if they are 'suitable'. If the social worker 'approves' she/he will then contact the adoptive parents (no matter how old the child is in some places) and ask their 'permission' for a message to be passed to the adopted adult child. So if the social worker doesn't like you, you get nothing. If the adoptive parents don't like the idea, you get nowhere. Social workers in Britain are terrified that people might get in touch with each other without their 'permission' or 'approval'. Makes me sick how much power they have. But it allows the government to say that they have kindly given help to mothers - filtered very thoroughly by social workers - often the same ones who took the consent to adoption in the first place.

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