Saturday, July 10, 2010

God and Adoption

In an EXCELLENT post by Coco, a natural mother of a child in an open adoption, recognizing that her good fortune was not devine intervention, but just the luck of the draw.

In "The Question of God in Adoption" Coco challenges the belief that God ordained for some to be parents of a child born to another and paid for by them via baby brokers or adoption agency businesses, albeit (not-for-profit but making enough to remain in business and pay salaries by redistributing children).

In doing so, she of course must question how a God who is omnipotent, omnipresent and omniscient would allow for such adopted parents He hand-selected to abuse or even kill children placed in their care? After all, these kids were not born to them by "accident."

A bottom line for me, not mentioned by Coco is this: If God wanted these people to have children. why not simply give them the gift they really want: fertility (after all, God is said yo have "opened the wombs" Sarah, Hanah and  of several other previously barren woman) and allow them to have a child truly of their own and give the mothers of every child born to them what they need to remain together?

The religiosity of God's hand in removing bastard children from one mother and handing them over to another, is about punishing immorality and rewarding the righteous. It entails buying into puritanical, Victorian beliefs of purity and judge poor, husbandless women as unfit, which of course is totally contrary to Jesus' teachings.  (I have only just begun reading "Of Sluts and "Bastards" (1995) by Louise Armstrong and cannot recommend it highly enough. More on that as I work my way through it.) But I wanted to thank Coco for her thoughtful view on this subject.

More on religion and adoption here.


The Improper Adoptee said...

They can deny it all they want Mirah, due to feeling bad about themselves and being angry at God, but barreness is a punishment from God and I have read verses in the Old Testament that confirms this fact. Is it fair? No, I don't think so, just like blindness and deafness aren't fair, but I'm not going to start on my feelings about this God right now and how stupid I think it is that he punishes innocent descendants of someone he was mad at centuries ago...the point is however, is that it is neither a natural Mother's fault, nor an Adoptees fault that some women can't conceive, yet it is the Churches fault, that they lie about God punishing members of a bloodline by withholding fertility, they lie about Jesus being Adopted, while they accentuate on the "sin" of women who have babies out of wedlock and their mindset that bastards are "abominations" (and really, some one prove to me that God said that, babies are pure and innocent....) while ignoring the fact that infertility isn't just a medical problem and is an Act of God so they can make a buck. I will never GET why the hell Church Clergy and Christians don't forgive a women who had sex before marriage yet still consider themselves Christians. The dots don't connect.....They seem to be hung up on Jesus's words "and outside(of heaven) will be the fornicators, but they are SO stupid, because that means the fornicators who DON"T SAY they are sorry to God. I mean if a women prays to Jesus she is sorry for carrying unmarried (the sin, not the baby, as the baby is not looked down upon by him) then all is forgiven. No need for anymore punishment, like her baby being taken away and the records closed. I think what is happening is that the Church, the social losers and the Adoption Agencies are acting like MAN'S law, not Christ's. The way people are arrested for breaking man made laws (like not paying taxes). Yet the Church and Christians have NO right to punish people and go around acting like cops over something Christ TAUGHT there should be no punishment for from man anymore (hence the stoning of the adulteress he stopped). And you know honestly, if Christians and the Church don't like that fact then they should just be atheists then. Why the facade that they are acting Christlike? They make me want to hurl, the way they lie and cover up THEIR sins. And I agree with this Coco's point of view. Is is God's plan for some Adoptees to be Adopted unloved, and or murdered by Adoptive Parents? If so, then they lie about God being a God of love too.....

Mirah Riben said...

Dear IA,

yes many mothers were shafted, deceived, lied to and told to lie by church-run and religiously run adoption businesses.

That much I wholeheartedly agree with.

As for people's personal beliefs...well, we each have them don't we. And there are many degrees and ways to believe in God or Jesus or anything else.

I do not share all of your beleifs, for example. I certainly do NOT beleive in a harsh punishing God. If it is true that Jesus was the son of God spoke through him, where would the harsh, punishing, "burn in hell and damnation" stuff come from? Jesus spoke of love and forgiveness.

And there are MANY Christians who believe in the word of Jesus just as he spoke it and are good, loving, caring people. You cannot clump all "Christians" under any one label. There are fundamental extremists in every religion: Judaism, Islam, etc. And there are also very loving, caring people of all well as good,loving, caring people of no faith.

ALL of the major world religions teach a form of the Golden Rule. They all have love your neighbor as yourself at their base. Yet, many also have vengeance and retribution and sin in them as well. Different leaders and members of each faith pick and choose which guides them and which they follow exclusively - or look at the whole. Some take one line out of the bible and become snake handlers!

The Improper Adoptee said...

Oh I know. When I said Christians, I meant Pro-Closed Record Christians. I didn't mean to come off categorizing. I apologize. I know some Christians who think Closed Records and not letting us have our OBC's is dumber than a box of hair. And yes, Jesus spoke of forgiveness because if one wants to be a Christian then they have to ask for forgiveness for their sins and forgive others or they won't go to Heaven-that was the deal he offered as the word from God. And I criticized Christians in my last comment because the Adoption system that they created doesn't abide by the teachings of the One they follow. As far as other religions who think unwed Mothers and "bastards" should be punished, well, I don't know what to say to that, except I think all we can do is sue them for violating our American civil rights and denying us the "pursuit of happiness". (And I don't believe Jesus was God either-I think he was an angel sent to fight another angel-satan-I was raised Christian but do not believe all that was said nor do I have the typical Christian beliefs and I am no longer involved in this religion either, in part, because you guessed it, I am too pissed off at Pro Adoption Christians and God right now LMAO)
Tc Mariah!

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