Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Another Adoption "Disruption"

What makes this one more horrific than previous publicized terminated adoptions, is the fact that this child was adopted as a newborn infant, fresh from the womb.

Also notable is the fact that she was adopted by a couple who had a biological son and believed they could not have another child naturally, and yet did subsequent to the adoption. All the blame however is cast onto the child's behavior and the natural mother's lack of total honesty in revealing her health history which may have been a contributing factor to the behaviors this family refused to deal with.

Lori and Criag Gertz say she was not able to be raised in a "family constellation" yet found another family to do exactly why they were unwilling to!

Conversely, I have seen episodes on Discovery Health Channel of parent coping with unexpected mental illness in children they bore in remarkable ways. Even when the child posed a risk to other members of the family, one family moved to two apartments in the same complex so either the mother or father could be with the disturbed child at all times while keeping his younger sibling safe.

The idea that an adopted child is disposable is beyond abhorrent and reprehensible and defies all the platitudes of it being "the same as" a child born into a family.  That people who do this speak out and seek - and receive - sympathy merely adds to the insanity of it all. We vilify natural mothers who cannot cope and sympathize (or are with those who commit to being expected to) forever families and abandon the vulnerable beings entrusted to them.  Where, for instance, is the sympathy for the raped Philippine migrant worker mother who abandoned her newborn on an airplane as she fled? No, she "has come under plenty of criticism."

Even mothers who legitimately relinquish after being told it is the best, loving, only choice are stigmatized because every knows a mother is supposed love a child she gives birth to. Just ask Nancy Grace!  Not so those who adopt, however. They should not have to be burdened with others' troubles when it was not what they expected or "signed on for."  And that should be understood and acceptedable. !?! Well it AINT!!!

1 comment:

Rebecca Herman said...

This is a very sad story all around. From reading several articles it seems the adoptive parents were able to get in contact with the mother's brother. He said she had been mentally ill pretty much all her life, abused alcohol and drugs for years, and eventually committed suicide after being in jail for illegal drug use. It seems unlikely the mother could have cared for the child if she wanted to with how mentally ill she was as well as being in jail. I'm honestly not sure what could have been done to help this child.

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