I hope that Tracy is indicative of a pivotal point in adoption. On one hand we have the arrogant entitlement of Madonna, who took David away from his father and family and has fought fiercely to do the same to acquire Mercy.Lest I get discouraged and believe that Madonna is typical, I happened upon a human being who chose not be part of the problem.
Tracy is such a person. She is honored because not all are so selflessly caring.
Five years ago social worker Meredith Resnick went to Russia to adopt after deciding that she preferred an international adoption to avoid the ties of birthparents. When she arrived, she discovered that the girls she planned to take home, ages 10 and 13, had two grandmas and a half brother. As she reports in Newsweek, her plans to adopt them was undeterred (though she did take them back for a visit).
Tracy arrived in Russia and discovered the nine-year-old she had come to claim had an 18-year-old brother who had to give permission for the adoption. She was angry but her concerns for the well-being of a scared little child were of greater concern than her onw disappointment as she left empty-handed.
Some people are heros for what they do not do.
Tracy joins:
2008 Heros Jennifer & Todd Hemsley
2007 Hero Richard Boas
5 comments:
Greetings, To provide context to the above post where my name is mentioned, please consider this link.
Kindly,
Meredith Resnick
http://www.newsweek.com/id/46107
Thank you for visiting, Meredith. That was an oversight and has been corrected. I hope that you might read, if you have not some of the writings of Jae Ran Kim and Jane Jeong Trenka who were adopted from Korea and have published extensively from the vantage point of adults who were adopted internationally:
http://jjtrenka.wordpress.com/
http://www.transracialabductees.org/index.html
and: http://tinyurl.com/5qdjqe
At best, it is a mixed joy. I can only imagine that haven been taken from abject poverty while family members remain there would produce a sort of "survivors guilt."
I also wonder if you, being not just an adoptive parent of two Russian born girls, but also a social worker with a blog on Psychology Today and published in Newsweek - have any thoughts on the large number of Russian adoptees murdered by their US adopters? And the many more who have sent back or abandoned in various ways, such as ranches and underground placements etc.
Here are some resources:
Indigo was adopted from Vietnam and is a researcher at University of Queensland. She's written a paper, "The Celebrity Adoptions Phenomenon: Emerging
Critiques from ‘Ordinary’ Transnationally Adoptive Parents." Indigo's observations are dead on and her work with international adoptees has been invaluable. Her site can be found here:
http://www.darlo.tv/indigo/cv_indi.html
Jini Roby is a researcher at Brigham Young University who has published a fantastic paper on the perspectives of international
birthfamilies, "If I Give You My Child, Aren't We Family? A Study of Birthmothers Participating in Marshall Islands-U.S. Adoptions." She
also has worked in Cambodia and Uganda.
http://fhssfaculty.byu.edu/Faculty/jlr95/
http://www.deseretnews.com/article/1,5143,645194628,00.html
Here's a snippet from the link above:
"“I’m not proposing adoption as the first and best solution,” she said. “First of all, we need to keep the families intact. In Uganda this summer, I saw mothers infected with HIV who were staying healthy
and alive for 15 years or more. First, we need to keep parents alive.
Then we need to support the extended families willing to care for these children. A lot of my work is focused on those two areas. This paper is about the small role adoption can play to make a huge
difference in the lives of individual children.”"
Imagine my surprise! I had no idea that I've been honored by your organization. I just stumbled upon this on google!
Thank you very much for recognizing our decision as one that was clearly best for this child. My husband and I were in it together, so I personally honor him. One important correction: It was Ukraine, not Russia (often confused).
We are now the proud parents of an awesome 13-year-old foster son. We plan to adopt him while still maintaining his close ties to all of his biological family members. Couldn't be further from what we thought we would have and it couldn't be a better end to our adoption story. He's THE BEST!
I'm now a proud advocate for fostering and adopting through the foster care system!
Tracy,
I am pleased that you found it as well. I tried unsuccessfully to find an email for you but hoped that eventually you'd find it!
I wish you, your husband, and foster son the best. You are truly an example of good FP practices!
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