Saturday, June 11, 2011

Matricentic Feminism

Kay Beck writes about Matricentic Feminism: Feminism That Prioritizes The Needs Of Mothers. You can read it here.

Problem is, like all of feminism, it is created by the upper echelon FOR the upper echelon and turns a blind eye to the needs of powerless and marginalized women and mothers.

If the subject of adoption is mentioned, it is from the point of view of those WANTING children to adopt!  Those who see them as commodities and their mothers as uncaring, incapable or pathetic.

I am a twice published author on adoption and a mother who lost my first child to adoption in 1967 when societal pressures caused many young, white women to relinquish their rights.

Adoption as a loss for mothers is a subject that with two rare exceptions (Phyllis Chesler and Rickie Solinger) feminists have blatantly ignored.  I and my colleagues have been rebuffed by feminist conferences and publications because our words cause discomfort for those who see adoption as a "cure" for infertility and a source of parenthood that should be available to single mothers by choice and for same sex couples.

While there is some debate among feminists whether prostitution is exploitation or a choice, for the most part those arguing the debate are not likely customers profiting from another's exploitation. 

Adoption - and surrogacy - pits women against women and the voices of the paying customers over shadow the cries of the victims. Just today is reporting how the cash donations made to adopt a child from China support the black market trafficking of children for adoption there, as it does all over the world as poor women are used as brood stock HandMaids for more affluent Westerners.

if we are going to really look at feminism from a truly matricentic perspective, we MUST recognize and being to support ALL mothers - every women who given birth.  We must protect the right of women and the children to remain together. hat means supporting family preservation programs and recognizing that adoption is often corrupt and encourages stealing, kidnapping and trafficking to fill a demand.

It is also inherent of feminists to work at the root causes of infertility to help stem the tide instead of taking others' children as an after-the-fact "cure." high school health ed curriculums needs to include preventative infertility.

We cannot continue to tell young women to secure their graduate education and a career before beginning to contemplate motherhood realistically and expect that delaying childbearing is without serious consequences, or that one can "just adopt."  

Instead we need to see that education and careers can more easily be delayed and resumed after one has procreated closer to women's physical peak for safe, healthy pregnancy,

We need to stop demonizing young mothers, poor mothers, single by chance - not choice - mothers and instead help them to be the best mothers for their children they can be!  We need to stop seeing the third world as a shopping mall for eggs, wombs and babies.

We are not safe a women until ALL of us are safe. Feminism - matricentic or otherwise - need to be equally for ALl women all over the world and protect all women from exploitation and protect their children from commodification.

Stop Margaret Atwood's fictional vision from being so real, right now, today.

Mirah Riben, author, THE STORK MARKET: America's Multi-Billion Dollar Unregulated Adoption Industry


Robin said...

"or that one can "just adopt."

Also, I think that many people if they were really honest with themselves would admit that they would prefer their own biological offspring and that raising someone else's child is second best.

Mirah Riben said...

The interesting thing, Robin, is that if you read a lot of bogs as I do you quickly discover that their "adoption journey" most always begins with their long tearful story... A lengthy litany of YEARS of trying to have "their own" child. Expensive and painful tests and treatments endured toward that end. Their pain. Their feeling like a victim with plaintiff cries of "why me?" Their envy of others with children.

Then they adopt - as a LAST RESORT - and strongly object to anyone suggesting it's second best!

The ability to dissociate is amazing!

Robin said...

As an adoptee, I prefer it when couples are honest about how they feel about raising a non-bio child. Hopefully, this would cut down on the number of unqualified PAPs. It doesn't offend me that people would rather raise a child who looks like them, shares their interests and talents and has the "awe" factor of being a child that was created by the two of them.

RussiaToday Apr 29, 2010 on Russian Adoption Freeze

Russi Today: America television Interview 4/16/10 Regarding the Return of Artyem, 7, to Russia alone

RT: Russia-America TV Interview 3/10

Korean Birthmothers Protest to End Adoption

Motherhood, Adoption, Surrender, & Loss

Who Am I?

Bitter Winds

Adoption and Truth Video

Adoption Truth

Birthparents Never Forget