Saturday, May 10, 2008

What Gets You Through?

Chocolate ice cream and Kaluah have become my drug of choice? Red wine, sometimes.

I hate holidays. All holidays.

I am the anti-Valentine. I hate Christmas, my birthday and every Hallmark occasion.

I hate The Waltons and Martha Stewart, too.

But most of all...I hate Mothers' Day.

Even if I were NOT a mother of a twice lost child with the three kids I raised all out of state or out of the country...I would still hate the day that mothers use to brag about how great their kids are and seek to top one another with glowing tales of what their darling offspring got them to celebrate their undying love for, and appreciation of, them.

Barf bag, please!

I hated the holiday growing up. Couldn't stand the mushy cards that talked about Moms who were there to wipe your every tear. Just didn't seem quite right for the Mom who could care less, who blamed you for "making your bed now sleep in it." No cards for Moms who caused more tears than they wiped, or stood silently by while you received harm that caused those tears.

Maybe if we stopped glamorizing Mothers' Day -- and in doing so, romanticizing motherhood -- we wouldn't have people thinking that being another was worth anything...after they had everything else!

For those of you who might be enjoying the day with your long lost child I am happy for you. For those of us who will not, I share your pain.

The moment a child is born, the mother is also born. She never existed before. The woman existed, but the mother, never. A mother is something absolutely new. ~Rajneesh

Mother love is the fuel that enables a normal human being to do the impossible. ~ Marion C. Garretty, quoted in A Little Spoonful of Chicken Soup for the Mother's Soul

As I sip my Kaluah float, what gets you through the tough times?

Some people:

- take baths (bubbles or slats?)
- breathe deeply/meditate
- long walks
- shopping
- message
- play music
- dance
- paint/sculpt
- call a friend

Most of all, find one thing that you can DO to make a change. Write a letter, whatever! Doing an act of activism is so EMPOWERING it will get you out of dulldrum!

1 comment:

Suz said...

Distraction usually gets me through also not making a big deal of it. Sad, but true.

But hey, this year I got the greatest little card from Origins! It was so sweet and very much appreciated. Made me smile.

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