More Confirmation: Money's Corrupting Role in Adoption

Do I get to say "I told you so"? Still more conformation of what I wrote in The Stork Market and have been saying:

Money plays too big a role in adoption, Expatica.com, Sept 6

She says she is battle-weary and very disillusioned by all the wrongs she has come across over the past years.

Ina Hut, director of Wereldkinderen (World Children) the largest adoption agency in the Netherlands, is calling it a day. She is handing in her notice in protest against the way things are run in the world of international child adoption.

In the Netherlands there are more than 30,000 children adopted from abroad. In the early years, international adoption was legalised in the mid 1970s, the children mainly came from South Korea, Indonesia and India. In a relatively high number of cases the adoption parents’ motives were idealistic. ‘Even if you can just save one of them,’ was a statement you heard a lot in those days, referring to children who led a miserable life, for example, in prostitution or in impoverished children’s homes.

Children from China

Today most children come from China. The attitude of many Dutch would-be parents has drastically changed over the past 30 years, says director Ina Hut from World Children:

“Would-be parents have strong desires, and I understand that. Everybody has the right to want children, but you don’t have the right to children. Children have the right to parents. The right to children doesn’t exist on this planet.

For me the last straw was an important political meeting in June. Once again it became clear that in the debate around international adoption it is not in the interests of children that come first, but in the interests of the would-be parents, or gay couples who want to adopt, and also in the commercial interests of the Netherlands and that of politicians who are afraid of losing votes. All other interests than that of the child.”

Stolen son

About seven years ago, Ina Hut left her job as university director and entered the adoption world, where she was amazed by the large role money played. According to her, especially Americans are prepared to pay a lot of money to cover the expenses of adopting a child. Therefore a relatively high number of children are allocated to the US.

Large sums of money are said to encourage the trade in children, China is notorious for this. A Chinese mother whose son was stolen explains what it is like to have to work everyday in the shop where her child disappeared:

“We have no choice. We cannot leave here, because just imagine that he tries to return and we have already gone. No way…"

Lack of communication

But there is more, says Ina Hut. A children’s home offering children up for adoption can often give more information about the identity of a child than they are doing now. This applies to China, but also to many other countries. And the Dutch government has acted spinelessly against this lack of communication. The Ministry of Justice recognises that China in particular has a fragile adoption system, but overall they consider it satisfactory, with good intentions.

According to the ministry an in-depth investigation could actually damage commercial and diplomatic interests. This infuriates Ina Hut. It is criminal to change or hold back the identity of a child, she says. Even though an adopted child has probably been stolen from the parents, it has the right to know that. She suggests the following solution for a system that is more fair:

“If you take a look at the amount of money involved in international adoption … invest that in the countries themselves and see whether the children can be taken care of there, in a good home or with family or friends. The big money should be taken out of the system. If, after a long search, there is no other solution for a child who has no parents to raise them, then adoption is an excellent answer. But only as a very last resort”

‘Nagging’

Ina Hut has had many reactions to the news she is leaving from Dutch foster parents. A large group thinks it is good that she is calling for more transparency, because no parent would want a stolen child. Another group says they cannot identify themselves with the image of ‘nagging’ and ‘being so obsessed by the desire to have a child that they don’t mind if a few rules are violated’. The procedure for adoption often takes years and involves a great many rules. Enough to make the procedure fair, they say. And like 30 years ago, you often hear the refrain: ‘Even if you help just one…’

Maurice Laparlière
Radio Netherlands / Expatica

Day Three: Fasting for Children Kidnapped for Adoption

I cannot believe it is day three.

Prior to this, I freaked out and screamed and hollered if I was told to eat "nothing after midnight" and then had to wait until noon the next day for whatever procedure was being done.

I began this fast with an open mind, not knowing if it would be a juice fast, or whatever.

I have tips, if you ever need or want to fast:

#1. Do not watch TV! Every other commercial is for something to eat!
#2. Keep BUSY - garden, shop (but not in a food store), walk, write, read, draw...ANYTHING! Do not be idle!
#3. Tell people around you and stop them when the conversation turns to food or eating.

Last night I felt some hunger pangs. Usually I snack before bed, convinced that hunger "pains" will keep me awake. I slept like a a baby and so fare feel no ill-effects at all of this three day fast. All I have had is a bottle of 10 calorie vitamin water a day!

And yet, I feel so utterly helpless and ineffectually in achieving any meaningful assistance for the mothers of the kidnapped children.

I have contacted Amnesty International and am hoping to hear back from them. Will follow up.

Chris Todd, one of the strikers said:

"I participated in this strike because I believe that the world owes justice to these women. They are not just victims of a few crooked lawyers. That could be easily solved. They are victims of a corrupt establishment that makes money and gains power from their misery. There will be no justice for them unless we stand together to demand it. I stand with them because Jesus stood for me."

I stand with them because NO ONE stood with me in my time of need when I lost my daughter!

I stand with them because it is every mother's God-give right to raise her own child with no pressure created by a demand for her child!

I stand with them because kidnapping is a serious felony crime and treaties the US has ratified DEMAND that they investigate!

I stand with them because I know that these three cases are merely the very tiniest tip of a huge ring of child traffickers. Nothing this complicated, falsifying birth certificates, DNA test results and accompanying photos, obtaining visas on slip shod documentation m issuing identifying information, could have been accomplished easily or by lone individuals.

I stand with them because adoption must be turned back around to its original purpose of finding homes for those children who are in need - orphans and children whose parents are incapable and unwilling to parents and have no extended family who can step up to the plate, when provided the necessary resources to do so.

Adoption is NOT about filliugn a demand for younger and healthier children than those that already are in need of care - 129,000 right in the US!

I stand with these mothers and will continue to fight until we stop seeing others' children as a commodities that ANYONE has a "right" to...and until we stop CREATING PSEUDO ORPHANS of loved and wanted, well-cared for children!

I stand with them until everyone decides to be part of the solution, and NOT part of the problem! The corruption starts with the demand. Demand creates the "supply" or more accurately the suppliers.

Guatemalan drug dealers have reported that selling babies is more profitable and less likely to end in apprehension.

We have to stop the insanity! Some people cannot have babies. Other people don't have legs but don't expect anyone to cut one of their off and give it to them.

Anyone who believes they should adopt in order to "save" or "rescue" a child "languishing" in an orphanage - an "unwanted" "orphan" - needs to go to their state welfare department and save themselves tens of thousands of dollars and the possible nightmare of being a recipient of kidnapped kid...not mention the pain they'd spare a mother.

Day Two: Fasting for Kidnap Victims

Today is Day Two of my - and many others' fast for three children who were kidnapped by child traffickers and wound up with adoptive families in the US, likely unbeknownst to them.

I was very pleasantly surprised that my first day of fasting went far easier than any other fast - for religious or medical purposes - I have ever done before. When you firmly believe in something, it really makes a difference!

It is very interesting to be participating in this call for action in the midst of the headlines coming out of California about the release of Jaycee who was held for an incredible eighteen years and bore two children while in captivity.

The three children I am concerned about, were, like Jaycee snatched out of their mothers arms - some at gunpoint, others after drugging their mothers, etc. - in violent acts committed by total strangers.

In the end, despite despicable treatment, Jaycee came to be attached to her abductors to whom she was totally dependent. Yet how absurd would it be for anyone suggest that she and her chidlren stay with Phillip and Nancy Garrido - with whom Jaycee felt so comfortable, she worked as the "front person" in the family gardening business.

Jaycee's "attachment" to her abductors is not a consideration!

Why then is it that if an adoption takes place - albeit an illegal adoption - after an abduction, it is somehow thought to nullify the original abduction? because the adopters didn't know?

But the mothers know their children were abducted - brutally - by horrible people with not a care for the children's well-being. The adopters PAID these people - albeit indirectly - and it was their desire for a child that created the entire child trafficking business.

Yet, as always, where adoption is concerned - even illegal adoptions - it seems all the pity is always with the adopting family. All we hear in contested adoption cases is THEIR pain, THEIR loss...THEIR empty crib...

Now, I am not cold and heartless. I do not discount that it would indeed be very painful and difficult to GIVE BACK a child that you love and believed to be YOURS forever (though I've written recently, and we all know about adoptive give-backs of children, not so perfect). Most ironically, even THEN, the adopters seek pity!

Why is adoption so damn sacrosanct and why doe sit supersede the NATURAL God-given ad constitutionally protected right to raise one's own child? Totally false but undying stereotypes that won't die about mothers who lose children to adoption being somehow unfit and those who hose adoption being above the fray and more DESERVING! Or is it the American-capitalistic mentally that they "bought and paid for it" so it's THEIRS?

Whatever it is I grow sicker and sicker by the day...and heartsick for all the children who were stolen and wound up adopted. They are victims of violent abductions every bit as much as much as Jaycee - although treated better in MOST cases...let us not forget that some adopted kids ARE abused emotionally, physically and sexually and some even adopted for that specific purpose, or to bring financial subsidies. Why the heck then is adoption to scared when all this exists?

Questions I have been asking since my first book in 1988...and questions I will continue to raise and fight for answers to with my last dying breath, as did Teddie Kennedy. In The Dark Side of Adoption (a term I coined!) I called for statistics on the number of children adopted and abused. NOTHING. To this day no one follows up on adoptions once finalized, giving pedophiles free range....just as no oe checks on parolees, like Garrido, or even Jeffrey Dahmer!

Our government has the funds to bail out banks and auto manufacturers, we have money for weapons...but have never funded the Adam Walsh Child Protection Act of 2006 to follow up on released level 2 and 3 sex offenders. What price does we place on children's safety? We know the price of children - as much as $40,000 to GET ONE! But what about protecting them?

To wind this angry rant back around to where it started - why won't our government abide by TWO treaty's it has signed to cooperate in th alleged commission of an international crime and to help international contested custody cases? Why won't the State Dept demand DNA testing for the children positively identified from passport photos?

And...if they do -- or in the case of one of three girls who has now been DNA proven to be who her mother has claimed she is -- what will be - should be - the outcome? Should not the children be returned regardless of whether the end recipient knew or not? How could any family knowingly turn their backs on this possibility without the worry that their kids - finding out some day - might not feel terribly angry and betrayed? They can run...will they seek in hiding the truth forever? What kind of people does that make them?

We damn well know there'd be holly hell to pay of US kids were abducted and taken out of the country!

Please think of all of thi as you chew and swallow each morsel of food today, and wash it down with a refreshing beverage. I am doing none of that!

What If...?

TRANSRACIAL ADOPTION Some Visions I Have Seen...

By Shannon Gibney, AUGUST/SEPTEMBER 2009 CONDUCIVE


I. Some Visions I Have Seen…


What would the world look like if every parent – regardless of class, race, culture, or gender – had the opportunity to raise her own child?

How would various communities of color look and function if adults had enough education, training, and opportunity to ensure that when and if a family did encounter challenges, the local community could step in and care for the children in the least intrusive, most culturally-sensitive manner? What if families had every opportunity to remain intact and children were not removed from their midst on a regular basis?

Certainly, in such a world, the reproductive debate would be expanded to not only include the right of women to have safe abortions if they so choose, but to also raise their children in their own families and home communities.

Poverty would have to be reconceived in the child welfare system as a systemic process that creates less real choices and resources for those mired in it (mostly people of color in the U.S.), rather than a moral shortcoming of certain “irresponsible” individuals. A ruling of “Neglect” would not be reason enough to terminate parental rights – community-based and elected panels would look into the causes of the neglect (which are often, though not always, catalyzed by a lack of economic and social resources).

In this world, the needs of children would be put first, rather than the needs of parents/consumers. Just as importantly, children would be seen as complex individuals whose needs far exceed those of mere survival. As a culture, we would see ourselves in our children, and recognize the web of emotional, psychological, cultural, communal, and other levels which they/we juggle every day, and which they/we will need to fully engage in order to reach their/our potential.

There would need to be a reckoning, throughout all levels and sectors of society, that race and culture do matter in America today. The public would have to recognize the notion that all any child needs is “the opportunity for a good education, a safe neighborhood, and a loving family” in order to thrive in any environment is based on the lie of a color-blind society. We have to face the painful truth that race and racism have seeped into every nook and cranny of American society – including, and perhaps most insidiously, the American family.

In this world, a Christianizing mission, and its historic role in conversion by any means necessary to the point of separating children from their parents, would be undermined. This would be accomplished via a devastating critique from the public and educational spheres, as well as through the de-funding of organizations and groups that purport to determine who is and who is not fit to parent based on a person’s adherence to a specific set of “Christian” values. The connection between Christianization, racism, and cultural genocide throughout the world (especially in indigenous communities in the U.S. and in Australia) would be made so plain that to deny it would be to deny your own heart.

The sexism that women face – be it in a powerful institution such as her employer, or the church, or even from family members – would not be allowed to fester and grow in such a world. Women in every culture would have as much access to education as their male counterparts, and would be encouraged and supported in their efforts to tell their stories and present their reality. Even though she might at times feel like her choices were more limited than she would like, depending on her situation, no woman would ever feel that external forces made her either relinquish a child she wanted, or take on a burden that she could not bear alone. In short, there would be far more understanding and support for, by, and of women in this world.


II. Angle of View

Are these visions of justice so impossible in this kind of world? Are they so far off? In some ways, politicized transracial adult adoptees carry these visions with them in their minds, bodies, and spirits all the time. They embody the response to the all-too-familiar questions, “So, you believe we should get rid of adoption altogether?” or “What should we do otherwise?” Such a polarizing approach to the complicated and often contradictory process of child relinquishment and re-attachment to a new family and new community is as limiting as it is unimaginative. Has society’s angle of vision really become so narrow? Can it really only see what is already there, the mess all of us are standing in?

What a collective group of adult adoptees have done is provide a space to discuss these complexities. The organizers and participants of the Pedagogy & Theatre of the Oppressed Conference look forward to continuing the political education and growing consciousness that is shedding light on the chronic problem of removing children of color from their home communities and placing them in predominantly (foreign) Caucasian ones. They are also committed to exploring a collective solution that redirects the communal/spiritual disruption felt by these children toward something far more positive and far more beautiful.

The visions put forth above are not the stuff of fantasy; they represent the labor, analysis, and dreams of so many people. Socially aware people have noted and identified the intersection of the multiple oppressions and systems of power in transracial adoption: sexism, nationalism, Christianity, militarism, racism, poverty, and so many more.

Protecting Our Children's Privacy

Many mothers in reunion - and adoptive mothers - blog incessantly and unabashedly and even proudly about their lives, including every nuance of thought about and interactions with their children. After all a blog is a journal, isn't it? A place for stream of consciousness? A diary?

And yet - it is public.

Lisa Belkind, writing for the NY Times Blog, MotherLode asks:

At what point do parents lose their right to their children’s tales? When do things stop being something that happened to “me” and start being something that happened to “them,” and therefore not “mine” to tell?....

In this wireless, confessional era, what was once a question for parents talking over the backyard fence, or writers deciding whether to publish between hard covers, is now a question for every one of us with a keyboard.

Anita Tedaldi, who recently wrote in the Times about terminating the adoption of her very young adopted son, had apparently written earlier using the actual name of the child she adopted - something she now regrets.

She also may regret having:

written a column three years ago condemning a Dutch couple for terminating an adoption, or rapturously described her life as an adoptive mother in ways that she now says were “naïve and full of denial.”

As if all of this blogging about kids and using their names or even initials or pseudonyms is not bad enough - because blogs CAN be taken down - what about people that publish books using the names of kids they adopted, nearly adopted and didn;t, or whatever...and are painfully "honest" in revealing more than anyone needs to know about their inner, darkest thoughts.

Such is the case with a very disturbing book entitled The Brotherhood of Joseph which I will be submitting a full review of shortly. A book, unlike a blog and even some adoptions, is forever.

Watch what you say, lest your words come back to haunt you...and worse, hurt the ones you love the most.

Triad?

A blogger called TypeAMom posits:

"Adoption is more than the legal joining of a minor child and an adoptive parent. Adoption is the creation of a family. As open adoptions become more commonplace in both domestic and international adoption situations, the definition of "family" has expanded, to include all three sides of the adoption triad. But what is the adoption triad and why should all three sides of the triad be respected?"

My reply:

Actually, and more accurately, adoption is the destruction a family in crisis that
failed to receive the resources they needed to remain together and the creation of a muti-family unit that has two mothers and two fathers who share a child in common.

There is no "triad" because all of the power lies in the hands of the adopters. The child and his family are rendered powerless by age, marital and financial status. They are not equally legally represented in the adoption process and therefore it is not in any way an equal three way arrangement.

There is nothing new about any of this. It's been known for decades.

The traditional blood-kin family is composed of one mother, one
father, and their child or children. The adoptive family is composed of
two mothers, two fathers and a child common to them. Although society,
and to some extent adoptive parents, would like to pretend that it is
exactly like a traditional family, it is the differences that are
extremely significant in each member's life."

Dr. Herbert Wieder, a psychiatrist who has been studying the adoption
triangle for over twenty years testimony at Public Hearing before
Assembly Institutions, Health & Welfare on Assembly Bill No. 2051
(Adoption), 9 December, 1981, Trenton, NJ. shedding light on...The Dark
Side of Adoption, 1988, AdvocatePublications, p. 109

Guatemala Update: Day 1 of Fasting for Kidnapped Children

Today, Sept 1, 2009, I and many around the world begin Day One of fasting to bring attention to the plight of at least three children kidnapped from Guatemala and trafficked for adoption to unsuspecting families in the United States. We demand the U.S. State Dept investigate these crimes and provide DNA testing to confirm to deny that children identified are kidnap victims.

This strike is an international show of support and continuation of the hunger strike launched by Norma Cruz and Fundacion Sobrevivientes in Guatemala on July 15, 2009.

Please read more about the strike and pledge your support - get involved!

We have commitments to fast from around the world, from India to France to Louisiana. We are fasting in honor of three stolen daughters, Anyeli, Heidy, and Arlene, and their brave mothers who face the most unimaginable challenges and loss that any human can imagine.Because we value and celebrate adoption done in ethical and moral practice, we call a strike to voice opposition to those that tarnish and ultimately destroy legitimate adoption practice, rendering legitimate orphans homeless, and profitizing a once humanitarian endeavor.

Recently, it has been publicized that new DNA tests confirm that kidnapped and US-adopted Anyeli is in fact the daughter of Loyda Rodriguez Hernandez, who reported her daughter's abduction in 2006. Anyeli was allegedly stolen from the front yard of her mother's home in Guatemala City, falsely declared abandoned, and adopted by a Missouri family after having been renamed Karen Abigail. It is understood that Anyeli was issued a visa from the US Embassy Guatemala in 2008. It is unclear at this time what will be the outcome of this case as it appears there is no legal precedence for the return of a stolen child who was "legally" adopted and who now has US citizenship.

Strike organizers will be traveling to Washington DC this fall to present to US officials strike documentation and compiled research in an ongoing effort of exposure, accountability and justice.

Please forward this email to any interested persons or organizations.

Thank you for your support and interest.

PS from Jennifer, the organizer:

Right now, the mothers in Guatemala are in and out of hiding. They have been repeatedly threatened and are living with extreme fear for both themselves and their families. Very recently, there has been a shooting and a death of a family member of one of the mothers. It is believed this murder may be in retaliation. Right now, this strike and our show of support means more than ever before. Thank you for adding your voice of support to those that have been silenced through threats and violence. Every voice counts!

To reiterate, "fasting" is your definition, and at your discretion. We in no way are advocating, requesting, or wanting you to put your health or welfare in jeopardy by participating in this strike. Please do not do anything unhealthy or dangerous. We have people from around the world who have signed up .... most are restricting certain foods. One woman in France is not eating red meat for three days, for example. You define your "fast".

We only ask that you submit your "proof" or documentation within a few days of the last day of the strike. Your documentation can simply be answering the question: "why did I strike?" or can be more elaborate, it's up to you. Just make sure you can email it to this email address as soon as you can, to be included in the compiled book of documentation. Your input is critical.... We need this to show worldwide support, through our final documentation and book of the strike, compiled research, and news articles, that will be presented to key governmental officials and journalists later this fall. The more documentation we have, the more support we can show!

Please submit your documentation to this email address. It is understood by you, that by emailing us your strike documentation that it may and can be used in the book of compiled strike documentation, and this documentation can and will be made public in one form or another, and by emailing your documentation, you are giving your consent for your documentation and your given name to be used, be made public, and put in the compiled book about the strike.

Thank you again. Your support and participation is critical.... every voice counts.