Are you a mother who lost your child to adoption in New York?
Do you have a copy of your surrender papers?
If so, I would greatly appreciate hearing from you.
My agency - Jewish Child Care Association of New York (JCCA aka AMETZ) - has steadfastly, for the past 41 years, refused to give me even redacted or blank copies of the forms I signed! This, even after being informed that I had found my daughter and been in touch with her adoptive parents. And, still, years later, after being informed of the death of my daughter.
I recently wrote to Leona Ferrer, Disclosure Coordinator for JCCA:
Ms. Ferrer,
I am requesting a meeting to discuss the agency’s policies and ethical responsibilities in regard to the mothers they serve in general, and in particular the agency’s persistent refusal to give me even redacted or blank copies of the forms I signed. The fact Ametz/JCCA has a close working relationship with Adam Pertman and other representatives of the Evan B. Donaldson Adoption Institute who are speakers at your conferences, informs me that the Ametz/JCCA is well aware of their positions on ethical adoption practices in the 21st century. It might even suggest that Ametz/JCCA is in agreement with those ethical adoption practices.
I am a bereaved mother who would cherish any connection to my deceased daughter. How does such refusal fit within the agency’s ethos and decency? Who at this point in time and under the circumstances could possibly be violated by my seeing what I signed? The adoptive parents had access to information about me all along, and I have been in contact with them, as you have been made aware.
Her initial email response:
"Will you give me your daughter's name and birth date? Is it the surrender you want a copy of? Please let me know and thank you. Leona M. Ferrer"
I was quite hopeful and immediately replied back with my daughter's name. The response quickly became:
"Our attorney has advised that while we may not by law send you a copy of the surrender, you should be able to get a copy from the clerk of the court in which it was signed. Leona M. Ferrer"
Sooo, if you have received your papers from a NY agency, I need to hear from you!
ALSO SEEKING: A NY attorney to handle a wrongful adoption lawsuit.
Thank you!
5 comments:
What BS, Mirah! YOU signed the papers! Any legal transaction demands documentation for all parties. Imagine the problems if you sold a house but couldn't prove it. (I'm not comparing that to surrendering a baby, just the ramifications). Now you can't get a copy of your surrender papers--or even a copy of blank papers. Something reeks. What are they afraid of? Is the infamous Mirah Riben, author of inflamatory books and articles, and all-around adoption rabble rouser about to sue them? That's what they're afraid of. I'm sure this decision comes from the very top. These people are pathetic. What would happen if you refused to send out receipts forinternet sales of The Stork Market? Maybe you should try that and see what happens. I'd pursue this. Ask for a legal decision from their office.
Marley - Been fighting this for 40 years. There position remains unchanged. They are counting on the fact that that have attorneys on retainer and I'm not likely to spend the bucks to go against them.
I know. It's too bad Stork Market won't go to the top of the NYT Best Seller List--Non-Fictin and yiu get inviged on the Today Show and Good Morning America and Oprah.I wish there were a way to put this BS on the radar.
From your mouth...
Well, I was actually considerate enough in my first TWO books NOT to mention them by name.
Now, I'm pulling all the stops out!
They are every bit as unethical as Gladney and Louise Wise and deserve to be known for that.
I DO hope to file a wrongful adoption suit. They are very much in part responsible for my daughter's death.
Marley,
I am one of those mothers WHO signed surrender papers...but never got one of those papers...
This was a ploy of the adoption industry,,,
no paper trails for mother's not even proof that we gave birth in a certain hospital.
When I saw my son's amended birth certificate it said another person had him at the same hospital that I did at the same moment. Did we give birth to the same baby?
No but thats adoption and the lies it gets away with...documents that are falsified for the benefits of those who adopt..faux, false, documents passing as true documents.
Adoptee's need to make it clear that the records need to be opened and not the legalized lies adoption create.
I think taking the stand that they don't mind being adopted or really don't want to know their parents has given ambiguous signals to our legislatures.
Take a stand for one side or the other. Adopters all have their birth cerificates...and they aren't falsified.
Why are adoptee's so worried about feelings? Seems they can say horrible things about we mothers and what happened to us. But when it comes to the adopters..oh, we don't want to hurt them.
Time to grow up.
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