Sunday, May 13, 2007

The REAL, Ethical and Moral Choice is Ignored by Ideaologs

Connor claims that abortion big business. It is adoption, however, that is a multi-billion dollar industry. A business that preys on exploiting mothers and expectant mothers in crisis both here and abroad. Unlike pregnancy termination, the adoption industry is financed by those who profit from another’s loss.

Because of the demand for infants – especially white, healthy infants to adopt – expectant mothers in any less than the ideal, well-healed situation are bombarded with doctors, friends and relatives advocating on behalf of a “deserving” and “desperate” couple. If the mothers is young, poor, single or in any other way less stable she is told endlessly how difficult mothering will be and the “advantages” to her and her baby, as Connor extols.

Adoption is in no way a win-win for the mother who looses her parental rights and her child. To imply that it is insulting….a subtle implication that the mother is “relived” of her “burden” by relinquishing, and another way of trying “convince” women to relinquish to maintain the supply of ‘adoptable’ babies.

Adoption is a permanent, irrevocable lifetime loss that mothers will never get over. For her child, it is also a lifetime loss of genetic connection and heredity replaced with feelings of rejection and abandonment that exists in those adopted even into the most loving homes. As a result, adoptees are seen in all kinds of mental treatment facilities in disproportionate numbers as compared to non-adopted.

Women facing crisis pregnancies need to know that so-called promises of “open” adoption are just that - promises. They are not legally upheld in most states. Despite what expectant mothers are told, adoption does not guarantee better life – only a different one. Stable married adoptive parents die, divorce, and even abuse and kill children entrusted into their care. Single mothers marry. Adoption is a permanent solution for a temporary situation.

It is cruel and immoral to speak about choices and disregard the most scared choice of all – supporting mothers and newly forming families to remain intact. A decline in children being abandoned by mothers for adoption is something to celebrate, not bemoan!

UNICEF’s position is that adoption should be a last resort. ““Families needing support to care for their children should receive it, and that alternative means of caring for a child should only be considered when, despite this assistance, a child’s family is unavailable, unable or unwilling to care for her or him.” This is the moral and ethical “choice” to be promoting and none other!

Pro-lifers have been somewhat under the gun to improve their image as being concerned only for the unborn. Adoption is NOT the only other alterative. For mothers, that is giving them a choice between the devil and deep blue sea. Just because adoption benefits those who want healthy white infants – instead of being compassionate and charitable enough to care for older, non-white, or physically challenged children, tens of thousands of whom are in need of loving, permanent homes - is not reason to promote the breakup of families that need and deserve support. Adoption is intended to be in the best interest of children. The pursuit of infants to adopt, however, ignores in the best interest of the 130,000 thousand children from foster care who can never be reunited with family, nor is it in the best interest of other children to be commodified to meet a demand.

Bring pro-family means to support all families…not to judge or exploit poor or young ones!

Mirah Riben

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