Devy Bunch, 72 was one of thousands of children stolen by Georgia Tann, the Executive Secretary of the Tennessee Children's Home Society in the 1930s.
Under heavy sedation, Bruch's mother - a teenager at the time- signed papers surrendering her unborn baby to Tann.
Her mother was later told she had given birth to a baby boy, who died.
Her sister had never known that their mother had been pregnant as a teenager and thought she was an only child.
"Still, the two sisters had no problems developing a relationship via e-mail along with occasional phone calls over the summer and fall months" and have had an in-person reunion.
Brunch rightly calls Georgia Tann EVIL!
Story and video here.
Saturday, December 5, 2009
Thursday, December 3, 2009
Make a Difference!
This year is 20th Anniversary of the Rights of the Child ...
MAKE A DIFFERENCE!
Yesterday, I wrote about an amazing Czech program to "adopt" peruvian children.
Today, I am asking you to make a difference this Christmas.
Help provide formula, diapers, clothing and care for Guatemalan orphans - many with special needs.
Buy one less tie for a one man on your Christmas gift list who already has more ties than he knows what to do with.
Buy one less toy for your grandchild who has a houseful.Jesus said: " … for I was hungry and you gave me food, … I was naked and you clothed me, …"
He did not say buy me a Wii...or an iPhone.
DONATE ON LINE!
OR donate via email at: LOVETHECHILDOFFICE@GMAIL.COM and my very good friends who I had the good fortune to visit at Amor del NiƱo will send your friends, family and coworkers a beautiful Christmas card with photos of their children, and a message of good cheer….telling them you thought so much of them this Christmas season.
And, as a BONUS...YOU will feel better than ever knowing the true meaning of Christmas giving!
Gee, What a Surprise! Health IS Genetic!
A sperm donor passed on a potentially deadly genetic heart condition to nine of his 24 children, including one who died at age 2 from heart failure, according to a medical journal report.
Two children, both now teenagers, have developed symptoms and are at risk for sudden cardiac death, the report says. It's the second documented instance of a genetic condition being inherited through sperm donation.
The latest case highlights the importance of thoroughly screening sperm donors, according to the report and an editorial published with it in Wednesday's Journal of the American Medical Association. Yeah, that's the ticket!
The San Francisco sperm bank involved now gives all donors electrocardiogram tests to weed out men with genetic heart problems; the study authors recommend that other sperm banks follow suit.
Voluntary sperm bank guidelines say donors should be required to provide a complete medical history to rule out those with infectious diseases or a family history of inherited diseases.
Guess that means adoptees and AID kids need not apply! And of course, no one else needing money would LIE, no would they?
Many also do testing but for genetic diseases that are less common than the heart problem, according to co-author Dr. Barry Maron of the Minneapolis Heart Institute, a leading authority on the condition called hypertrophic cardiomyopathy.
Neither the sperm bank nor the donor were identified. Of course not. We wouldn't want to upset the anonymity apple cart, would we?
The donor, now 42, had no symptoms of genetic heart disease and no obvious family history when he donated sperm in the early 1990s. His own condition wasn't diagnosed until after a child born through sperm donation was diagnosed.
Well - seems he was a lot luckier than those of who "donate" our fully formed offspring for adoption. (Note of course sperm "donors" SELL their wares and get better treatment than we do.) We don't get notified and would never know of any diseases that might threaten the lives of any subsequent kids we have because we DISAPPEAR after relinquishment into the void, the great abyss of erasures...
The children are now ages 7 to 16. Nine, including one born to the donor's own wife, tested positive for the heart mutation. One born through sperm donation died; two others have developed symptoms, with one getting a defibrillator. The remaining children are at increased risk for problems, which often don't show up until adolescence, Maron said.
The only other documented case of a disease inherited through sperm donation involved a rare blood disease.
Two children, both now teenagers, have developed symptoms and are at risk for sudden cardiac death, the report says. It's the second documented instance of a genetic condition being inherited through sperm donation.
The latest case highlights the importance of thoroughly screening sperm donors, according to the report and an editorial published with it in Wednesday's Journal of the American Medical Association. Yeah, that's the ticket!
The San Francisco sperm bank involved now gives all donors electrocardiogram tests to weed out men with genetic heart problems; the study authors recommend that other sperm banks follow suit.
Voluntary sperm bank guidelines say donors should be required to provide a complete medical history to rule out those with infectious diseases or a family history of inherited diseases.
Many also do testing but for genetic diseases that are less common than the heart problem, according to co-author Dr. Barry Maron of the Minneapolis Heart Institute, a leading authority on the condition called hypertrophic cardiomyopathy.
Neither the sperm bank nor the donor were identified. Of course not. We wouldn't want to upset the anonymity apple cart, would we?
The donor, now 42, had no symptoms of genetic heart disease and no obvious family history when he donated sperm in the early 1990s. His own condition wasn't diagnosed until after a child born through sperm donation was diagnosed.
Well - seems he was a lot luckier than those of who "donate" our fully formed offspring for adoption. (Note of course sperm "donors" SELL their wares and get better treatment than we do.) We don't get notified and would never know of any diseases that might threaten the lives of any subsequent kids we have because we DISAPPEAR after relinquishment into the void, the great abyss of erasures...
The children are now ages 7 to 16. Nine, including one born to the donor's own wife, tested positive for the heart mutation. One born through sperm donation died; two others have developed symptoms, with one getting a defibrillator. The remaining children are at increased risk for problems, which often don't show up until adolescence, Maron said.
The only other documented case of a disease inherited through sperm donation involved a rare blood disease.
Gong Back in Order to go Forward
Having just "said" those word sin a comment to the previous post here...I found this wonderful blog post of a young woman on the very precipice of taking that leap of faith back into her past, in order to get untsuck:
Ah-ha Moments at Adoption Conferences—an Adoptee’s View
From adopting a child to being an adopted child
Guest Post by Gian M. Schauer for Adopt-a-tude
I’ve had a couple of epiphanies at past adoption conferences. One led me to a husband. The other still has me searching.
I am adopted. I am interested in adopting an older child. I had contemplated giving up my birth daughter for adoption back in the ‘80s. I’ve been a foster parent. I could pretty much sit in on any talk at an adoption conference and find something that resonated with me.
It was the stuff that didn’t resonate that brought on my “ah-ha” moments.
My first moment of clarity came during a break at a Single Parent Adoption conference. I had been in presentations and break-out sessions listening to people talk about the joys of adoption and the struggles of parenting an adopted child. Their tales all sounded familiar, even though I didn’t have an adopted child.
Then it hit me. I’d had the same struggles parenting my birth daughter, not because she was adopted but because I was parenting alone. If I continued down this path of single-parent adoption, I thought, I would be telling these same stories of time management, depleted energy levels, and the frustration of facing decisions alone.
What I was longing for was not just another child—I already had a wonderful one. I wanted someone with which to share another child.
With new clarity, I left the conference and got busy. I talked it out with my shrink and increased my dating search. A couple of years later, I got married on a boat in the Caribbean.
That’s not the end of my story.
I had also been attending general adoption conferences, not just those for single parents. Other conferences offered many different topics, depending on your interests. As I sat in rooms full of adoptive parents discussing their issues with their adopted children, I stopped hearing the voices of the parents and starting thinking about my own voice as an adopted child.
That’s when I had “ah-ha” moment number two.
I didn’t need to learn anything more about adopting someone else right now. I needed to learn more about the adoption of me.
I’m not talking about the usual stuff like who my birth mother was or if I had any half-siblings. Not yet. What I needed to address was what it meant to me to be an adopted child.
I listened to experts and other adopted people talk about things like “The Primal Wound” and “always looking for your people.” Those things didn’t ring true for me. I turned protective of the adopted children in stories. I got frustrated with my shrink when she said perhaps I was experiencing things in a certain way because I was adopted. I researched attachment disorder in adults to figure out my relationship problems. I stopped reading studies about older children in the foster-care system or fetal alcohol effects and started thinking about my own birth and adoption circumstances.
Being adopted is a part of me. But is it a bigger part of me than growing up in a small town in the Midwest, having freckles, or being tall? I wasn’t comfortable with the generalization that all adopted kids were more difficult as adolescents anymore than everyone with freckles is a class clown. I didn’t go around in life searching for someone who looked like me or someone who could understand me anymore than my friends who weren’t adopted searched for those things.
So what was I curious about? I wasn’t sure about starting a search for my birth mom. I understood what she must have gone through to give me up, but I didn’t need to see her, touch her, connect with her.
Or did I? I tiptoed around the subject, reading online stories of how people found birth parents but never starting my own search. I didn’t talk with anyone about this, either. Instead I just quietly sat in small groups at these conferences, thinking about the circumstances behind my own adoption and wondering about the life path of my birth mother. My curiosity took me from wondering about adopting a child to wondering about being an adopted adult.
I have stopped planning and searching for a child to adopt. I have started searching for my inner adopted child. Maybe one day when I sort out the imprint that adoption has left on me, I will move my attention towards finding my birth family. And maybe after that, I will be interested in adopting a child with my husband.
For now, I’m not attending any more adoption conferences.
Guest Post by Gian M. Schauer for Adopt-a-tude
I’ve had a couple of epiphanies at past adoption conferences. One led me to a husband. The other still has me searching.
I am adopted. I am interested in adopting an older child. I had contemplated giving up my birth daughter for adoption back in the ‘80s. I’ve been a foster parent. I could pretty much sit in on any talk at an adoption conference and find something that resonated with me.
It was the stuff that didn’t resonate that brought on my “ah-ha” moments.
My first moment of clarity came during a break at a Single Parent Adoption conference. I had been in presentations and break-out sessions listening to people talk about the joys of adoption and the struggles of parenting an adopted child. Their tales all sounded familiar, even though I didn’t have an adopted child.
Then it hit me. I’d had the same struggles parenting my birth daughter, not because she was adopted but because I was parenting alone. If I continued down this path of single-parent adoption, I thought, I would be telling these same stories of time management, depleted energy levels, and the frustration of facing decisions alone.
What I was longing for was not just another child—I already had a wonderful one. I wanted someone with which to share another child.
With new clarity, I left the conference and got busy. I talked it out with my shrink and increased my dating search. A couple of years later, I got married on a boat in the Caribbean.
That’s not the end of my story.
I had also been attending general adoption conferences, not just those for single parents. Other conferences offered many different topics, depending on your interests. As I sat in rooms full of adoptive parents discussing their issues with their adopted children, I stopped hearing the voices of the parents and starting thinking about my own voice as an adopted child.
That’s when I had “ah-ha” moment number two.
I didn’t need to learn anything more about adopting someone else right now. I needed to learn more about the adoption of me.
I’m not talking about the usual stuff like who my birth mother was or if I had any half-siblings. Not yet. What I needed to address was what it meant to me to be an adopted child.
I listened to experts and other adopted people talk about things like “The Primal Wound” and “always looking for your people.” Those things didn’t ring true for me. I turned protective of the adopted children in stories. I got frustrated with my shrink when she said perhaps I was experiencing things in a certain way because I was adopted. I researched attachment disorder in adults to figure out my relationship problems. I stopped reading studies about older children in the foster-care system or fetal alcohol effects and started thinking about my own birth and adoption circumstances.
Being adopted is a part of me. But is it a bigger part of me than growing up in a small town in the Midwest, having freckles, or being tall? I wasn’t comfortable with the generalization that all adopted kids were more difficult as adolescents anymore than everyone with freckles is a class clown. I didn’t go around in life searching for someone who looked like me or someone who could understand me anymore than my friends who weren’t adopted searched for those things.
So what was I curious about? I wasn’t sure about starting a search for my birth mom. I understood what she must have gone through to give me up, but I didn’t need to see her, touch her, connect with her.
Or did I? I tiptoed around the subject, reading online stories of how people found birth parents but never starting my own search. I didn’t talk with anyone about this, either. Instead I just quietly sat in small groups at these conferences, thinking about the circumstances behind my own adoption and wondering about the life path of my birth mother. My curiosity took me from wondering about adopting a child to wondering about being an adopted adult.
I have stopped planning and searching for a child to adopt. I have started searching for my inner adopted child. Maybe one day when I sort out the imprint that adoption has left on me, I will move my attention towards finding my birth family. And maybe after that, I will be interested in adopting a child with my husband.
For now, I’m not attending any more adoption conferences.
My Comment:
GREAT POST! Go for it! You are definitely heading in the right direction - keep following your instincts and keep on that inner journey to your inner YOU.
Let go of your fears:
- the fear of rejection
- the fear of being (or appearing) ungrateful; or hurting others
Let go and go for it. If you set your goal of search to find the TRUTH - YOUR TRUTH - you will never be disappointed with what you find, good bad or indifferent.
Good luck and thank you for this post which I will be sharing at:
FamilyPreservation.blogspot.com
Let go of your fears:
- the fear of rejection
- the fear of being (or appearing) ungrateful; or hurting others
Let go and go for it. If you set your goal of search to find the TRUTH - YOUR TRUTH - you will never be disappointed with what you find, good bad or indifferent.
Good luck and thank you for this post which I will be sharing at:
FamilyPreservation.blogspot.com
THIS is Charitable Adoption!
Prague Daily Monitor reports:
Charity launches distance adoption of Peruvian kids
2 December 2009
The new plan is aimed to support children from poor families living in Peru's Amazonas area. The charity has already chosen ten children for Czech adoptive parents to help.
"The kids come from the swelling suburbs of Iquitos, a town that is accessible only by boat or plane. It is the administration centre of the Loreto province in the Amazonas area. It has about 260,000 inhabitants," Chacon said.
He said the children selected for adoption live in a quarter suffering from unemployment and soaring crime. Their families have come to the town from the rainforest. Most of the local population survives thanks to international aid and to sources gained in the jungle, Chacon said.
Plzen Diocese Charity director Jiri Lodr said the project aims to support the education of children from the lowest-income groups in the countries involved.
In 2008, the charity sent almost 800,000 crowns to Bolivia within the distance adoption project involving over 200 Bolivian kids.
As far as Paraguay is concerned, the charity has secured Czech adoptive parents for more than 60 children.
It focuses on Peru now as two years ago it provided help to Peru after a devastating earthquake. Volunteers helped construct new houses for the families in the Tantara area whom the quake left homeless.
Chacon said the Plzen Charity has established a centre of development cooperation to think out ways to support children in South American schools and secure cooperation between local schools and schools in the Czech Republic.
"In an area that was hit by floods in 2008 we would like to help complete a school building. The local school consists of a mere two classrooms for small children. The older kids learn outdoors," Chacon said.
Alberto Salas Barahona, the Peruvian ambassador to the Czech Republic, told journalists Tuesday that the Plzen Diocese Charity helped in Peru after an earthquake in 2007 and has been well known there since.
Copyright 2009 by the Czech News Agency (ÄTK). All rights reserved.
----------------------
THIS is truly charitable, loving, caring adoption!
THIS is what Madonna and Angelina and anyone else with enough money to adopt just ONE child should be doing!
AND CHURCHES who raise funds to bring ONE CHILD to fill ONE FAMILY'S dream!
Shame of them.
AND CHURCHES who raise funds to bring ONE CHILD to fill ONE FAMILY'S dream!
Shame of them.
True Charity is Selfless, Not Self-serving
That includes not serving the needs of a religion to increase its flock!What utter BULL (or total delusion) it is for anyone to say they are concerned about children starving in Africa, or languishing in crowded orphanages in deplorable conditions - and then take ONE, two or even three children and leave all the rest.
Note that today, it is more a LIE then ever before because the facts prove that 95% of the children in the orphanages are over age five and 98% of those being adopted by Americans are under five!
Baby Brokers fill orders and meet a demand, while the kids in need - here and abroad - are left behind.
Once again, I remind you at the HOLIDAY TIME to consider a donation to SOS Children's Fund or Save the Children.
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Adoption Reunion: Ecstasy or Agony?
This is the third of Evelyn Robinson’s books on adoption loss, and for many, may be the most valuable. Her stated attempt in this book is to provide a ready reference on adoption loss and recovery for those who do not wish to explore the subject in more depth, or who might be less inclined to read a more substantial or a more narrative book. She has accomplished that purpose.
The book is divided into three sections:
- Adoption Loss and Grief
- In this section, Robinson situates the grief caused by family separation in the context of grief reactions in general. She shows the similarities of this loss to other losses and provides some quick, short reference notes from other authors to substantiate what she says. She deals first with the loss of mothers, and then with that of those who were adopted. There is a succinct sub-section on the disenfranchised grief which adoption loss creates. FAQs in this section are those of mothers.
- Personal Recovery
- Personal recovery is defined as addressing the effects of adoption separation on individuals. She describes re-grief therapy and why it may help those suffering from adoption loss. The FAQs which follow this section are those often asked by those who were adopted.
- Interpersonal Recovery
- Interpersonal recovery addresses the long-term impacts on relationships between family members who have been separated by adoption. In this section, she describes the four tasks in mourning the loss that has occurred:
- to accept the reality of the loss
- to work through the pain of the grief
- to adjust to the changed environment
- to move on with life
- She addresses the reasons that grief arises at reunion, and describes how it may manifest, including some of the complicated grief reactions that may arise. She also addresses reunion outcomes and why some mothers and people adopted may decline a reunion. Questions addressed in this section include those of adoptive parents and family members.
Robinson is able to re-frame many a question’s underlying bias to a more helpful way of looking at the situation. For example, when asked about the trauma that surfaces upon reunion, Robinson reminds us that the reunion did not cause the trauma; adoption separation causes trauma, and though it may have been repressed for decades, the surfacing of the trauma’s effects is the sign of unresolved grieving finally being recognized.
Both because of its succinct summary of main lines of research and its clear compassion, this is an excellent first resource for those contemplating or dealing with a reunion. It will form a valuable resource for those who deal with mothers and people adopted in reunion. I would recommend this as a foundational book about adoption in anyone’s library.
Reviewer: Sandra Falconer Pace
Christies Beach, South Australia: Clova Publications, 2009
Available from: www.clovapublications.com
ISBN: 78-0-646-51697-4
Jewish Child Care/Ametz
October 2, 2009...I received an email from a list I am on as follows:
And...one of these free seminars was no more than 30 minutes from me. So, I went.
It was a bust for them. No one showed up but two social workers and me. I blogged about going on Oct. 28. One of the two social workers was a local woman named Bobbi who said she would try to help me accomplish what I had not been able to accomplish in 42 years - receive a copy of the surrender I signed. At Bobbi's suggestion, I wrote yet again and cc'd her. Here is the mail is sent:
Still, no reply.
No "out of office" or vacation reply. No "I'm sorry" but we cannot help you.
Nothing, after an entire MONTH.
So much for ethics in adoption...
I post this and will spread the word. I hope that anyone considering using either JCCA or Ametz realizes they are dealing with an agency with no ehtics whatsoever!
FREE HOW TO ADOPT DOMESTICALLY AND INTERNATIONALLY MEETINGS - NY AND NJ
For those looking into adoption: In this time of economic worries and limited adoption options, Ametz rolls back the cost of attending out initial HOW TO ADOPT DOMESTICALLY AND INTERNATIONALLY MEETINGS. Come to these FREE sessions to learn the ins and outs, and possible options of domestic and international adoption, without committing to the process or JCCA.
NEW YORK CITY - MANHATTAN
Wednesday, October 14th at 6 pm
ROCKLAND - SUFFERN, NEW YORKJCCANY - Jewish Child Care Assoc. of NY - was "my" agency. The one I surrendered to (figuratively and literally) 42 years ago. The one who promised me my daughter would have a better life without me and pressured me to sign...and then kept her in foster care for a year before she was suddenly wrenched from her foster family and given to another family to be adopted...
Thursday, October 15 at 7:30 pm.
NEW JERSEY - MANALAPAN, NEW JERSEY
Thursday, October 29 at 6 pm
For details and to register, go to www.jccany.org/ametz or call 212-558-9949
Kathy Brodsky, LCSW
Director, Ametz Adoption Program/JCCA
120 Wall Street - NYC - NY - 10005
212-558-9949
www.jccany.org
NY and NJ licensed agency
Full Hague Accreditation through 2013
And...one of these free seminars was no more than 30 minutes from me. So, I went.
It was a bust for them. No one showed up but two social workers and me. I blogged about going on Oct. 28. One of the two social workers was a local woman named Bobbi who said she would try to help me accomplish what I had not been able to accomplish in 42 years - receive a copy of the surrender I signed. At Bobbi's suggestion, I wrote yet again and cc'd her. Here is the mail is sent:
From: mriben@AdvocatePublications.comAnd then I waited pateintly. Nov. 17, I let Bobbi know that I had received no reply. Bobbi assured me she'd intervene. She seemed amazed herself that her employer had been so rude and dissmissive.
Subject: Post Adoption follow-up
Date: October 30, 2009 3:44:38 PM EDT
To: ferrerl@jccany.org
Leona,
As you may recall, I believe we had correspondence in the past. I was once again encouraged to contact you regarding a long unsettled matter.
For more than 30 years have been unsuccessfully trying to obtain from JCCA a copy of the relinquishment and consent to adopt and any other papers I allegedly signed. I say allegedly only because I was never given a copy at the time and have been steadfastly refused a copy since, despite having met Barbara and Stanley Hirsch the adopters of my daughter, Alicia Beth Hirsch.
Despite the fact that my relinquishment papers would in no way identify the adoptive family (whose identity is clearly known to me) as it took place prior to any adoption, and despite the fact that no law ever prohibited JCCA from giving me a copy (as Louise Wise - a NYC adoption agency has done), and despite the fact that all good ethical practice in adoption and common decency would call for giving one a copy of a legal agreement one had signed by...I have steadfastly been refused such consideration.
I was refused redacted copies and I was refused a blank form.
My daughter is dead, Leona. She took her precious life on Feb 27, 1995 at the age of 27. I have precious little to connect me to her. This would be helpful in any healing I might be able to accomplish.
Why is JCCA refusing this simple, humane request for common decency? Have I not endured suffering and loss? What is JCCA hiding? Was perhaps legal notice not given to my husband and father of Alicia? Did not sign anything?
I have cc'd Adam Pertman who has addressed issues of ethics in adoption at Ametz/JCCA venues, as well as other colleagues of mine in the field concerned with ethical adoption practices such as those at stake here.
With sincere hopes that this can be resolved once and for all,
Mirah Riben
Still, no reply.
No "out of office" or vacation reply. No "I'm sorry" but we cannot help you.
Nothing, after an entire MONTH.
So much for ethics in adoption...
I post this and will spread the word. I hope that anyone considering using either JCCA or Ametz realizes they are dealing with an agency with no ehtics whatsoever!
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