Adoption Entitlement and Class Warfare

What makes the Capobiancos and others like them tick?

Beyond adoption entitlement, bred by and fed on entitlement, lie predatory behaviors. They are subtle.

The following was posted on an adoption.com forum:

Can they really keep aunt away?

---

So yesterday we had our monthly meeting with baby girl's caseworker. It seems that nothing much has changed over the last month except vists are back on, but I really feel like that won't last very long. Baby girl is now just shy of 3 months and has only had 2 vists with mom, and alleged dad is completely out of the picture...he actually has insisted mom mgive baby girl up for adoption. Mom has another case in a bordering state for her 1 year old that has been in grandma's custody since birth. Mom completed parenting classes for her other case, but has done absolutely nothing else. Baby girl's caseworker stated that if the 1 year olds case was in our county...they would have already filed for TPR! So basically mom has done nothing in ether of her cases, and really doesn't look like she is going to change anytime soon. However; the caseworker did state that mom's aunt has called several times this week requesting temporary custody of baby girl. The caseworker said that something about the whole situation just didn't sit right with her, so she called the original case investigator to see if she new anything about aunt. Well, it seems the investigator had absolutely nothing nice to say about the aunt...I guess she was at the original staffing meeting and was going off on everyone. So baby girl's caseworker stated that there was absolutely no way she was granting temporary custody to aunt because she believes she will just turn the baby over to mom. So I guess my question is...can the caseworker actually refuse aunt? It seems she would have to at least request that she have a home study done...

The problem begins when a person or persons who feel entitled to a child - something the adoption industry instills in all infertile prospective adopters, ensuring them that there is a child for everyone (like a chicken for every pot). It then blossoms into full blown, blind, lustful, unstoppable predatory behavior when a child is identified as potentially "theirs."  

Once in the clutches of the adoption machine, well-meaning persons first are made to feel entitled by virtue of the fact that all of society deems them more "deserving" of a child than the sluts and dead beats that get "knocked up" by accident and "don't want" their kids.  While mothers are being brow-beaten into submission as to how undeserving they are, the paying clientele are whipped into a frenzy of belief that this is "their" baby and they must fight like a mother lion whose cubs are in fatal danger if they and they alone do not come to their rescue. Some have the additional backing of BELEIF that God himself has ordain this particular child to be theirs and they are doing HIS work to fight to protect this child and ensure it is whisked away to THEIR home and no other.

Then, just as the war machine turns innocent, well-meaning, patriotic young men and women into killing machines capable of committing MASS MURDER - shooting up villages, gassing them, or pushing people into ovens - and feeling JUSTIFIED having turned "others" into "the enemy"....the same is done to prospective adopters.  And make no mistake about it: this IS WAR! It is one of many aspects of class warfare being practiced in the U$A....  It's imperialism when babies are trafficked from overseas and washed clean and made legal by stamping the word "adoption" on what is done, and plain and simple class warfare when done within domestic borders and the exploited are our own citizens. In both cases it is the making of the underclass handmaid breeders for those who can affords to pay for their services and are made to feel ENTITLED to do so.

Matching cinches the deal.  

Once they are matched with a baby - born, unborn, or even just  a photograph of a child in an orphan overseas - any obstacle in the way is to be fought fiercely using any and every weapon available. Money is no object at this point. The goal is now an obsession and all is fair in this war in which they feel more than justified. The child is "theirs" in their mind and it triggers behavior beyond rational reasoning. They become totally convinced that the life of the child depends on THEM having THIS child!  They act - and perhaps feel on some level - that their own lives depend upon it.

This is where the Capobiancos and all other adopters in contested adoptions begin from and this is the position they maintain to the bitter end.

The attitude and behavior exhibited by adopters in contested or potentially contested adoptions is akin to that which we witness on “Survival” or “Big Brother” TV shows. It is what we see in women at a bargain basement 2-hour-only sellout sales on wedding gowns where it’s every woman for herself, pushing and shoving - claws out - to get the desired commodity. Every other “player” a rival for the gold ring, the prize, the “gotcha”, the WIN.

The first obstacles to overcome in the battle are the mother and the father. In this case, the father presents no threat to their goal. It is interesting to see how the mother, who presents little to no threat still needs to be painted as the enemy of this child…someone all parties involved need to work to keep from getting her hands on her own infant child, despite the fact that this sounds like a “voluntary” relinquishment with no abuse or neglect mentioned regarding either of the mother’s children.

The bigger threat here is the baby’s blood-related aunt, an adjunct to “the enemy”; an ally whose biggest threat is that she would conspire to give the child to evil birthmother! Thus the aunt’s insistent behavior is described in terms making it seem pathological and dangerous rather than the normal concerns of someone witnessing her sister being railroaded and her niece snatched away.

Time is viewed through distorted lenses in this mad dash for the finish line. Three months is felt as an eternity for the wanna-be child-snatchers rather than seeing it as a time for the mother to recover from childbirth, regroup, catch her breath, get her life together and figure out what she wants and what she needs to do to be a mother to her newborn child.

Yet the same time period is viewed very differently when judging the mother. In that regard, language is manipulated to subtly subvert the normal into something evil and suspicious. Instead of saying the mother visited twice in three months, note the seemingly insertion of the word “just” – minimizing her visitation to make her appear unloving, uncaring. The fact that the mom did “nothing” regarding either of her children is reported as if she had committed child abuse or neglect, and in fact blatantly ignores the two visits.

Of course, in the upside-down backwards, Catch-22 world of adoption anything a mother does or might have done overtly would be reported as inappropriate if not insane, just as the aunt’s behavior is viewed as other than a healthy, normal reaction to the coercion and exploitation of a member of your family. After all, our social mores say that once someone has CONSIDERED placing a child for adoption, they are defective, immoral, and UNFIT to parent.…(unless of course, they are adoptive parents who are “struggling” with a child who is “oppositional” and refuses to bond with them and behave; a child who cannot act as if they’ve experienced no trauma, experienced no rejection.)

There is thus not an ounce of human compassion for the mother, father or any extended family (such as the aunt in this case) as human beings in need and in pain.  They are totally dehumanized. Simply impediments standing between the goal of obtaining the prize and not.

In their heads, the prospective adopters are not fighting loving family to take their child away for them to fill their own greedy needs and desires.... but "saving" the child from an imaginary boogie man “enemy” of their own – and to a large extent society’s - creation. They create the lies about the original family and they firmly believe every one of them.

Far more importantly than depersonalizing the family as obstacles and enemies, is the fact that there is not one thought about what is best for this newly born infant child....just the assumption that, of course, adoption is "better" option. Just look at how much more money they have for lawyers to fight for what they want!

And, of course today, all of this is being done privately with “counselors” salaries dependent upon the completion of the adoption transaction. Thus, the “counselors” – baby broker facilitators -  are not asking about the child best interest, let alone asking the paid client to consider it when an extended family steps up to the plate challenging the ensuing adoption. No, the facilitator sides with the client in seeing this blood kin as an obstacle and an enemy of the goal of the completion of the legalized child abduction. They side with the client and instigate the we/they competitive war. Same for their attorney.

When they succeed, for adopters, adoption is sheer joy – the answer to their prayers; the fulfillment of their hopes and dreams. Most are incapable of thinking beyond or seeing any other perspective. Their joy blinds them to the pain and suffering their choices caused or the trauma and loss their child has experienced. No, they now create a new myth to cling to: "love" will heal all that. They feel lucky and blessed and are deliriously happy with their acquisition and since they lack the ability to any other perspective but their own - or see anyone else in the equation but themselves - they believe the child feels exactly as they do and is just as joyous.

In adoption, entitlement of those able to afford the fee, and the predatory behavior many display when things get tough, are as insidious as is White Privilege.

See also: Adopter Entitlement - The Brave New World is Here