Friday, August 9, 2013

PUBLIC PLEA to Matt & Melanie Capobianco



Dear Matthew and Melanie Capobianco,


In response to Sadness, joy inherent in SC couple's adoption case which is getting mass coverage in the media:


I know you love Veronica. And I believe that you sincerely thought you were helping a single mom who already had two kids. You thought you were helping a mother and you fell in love with her beautiful daughter.  I beg of you too see that you have been used all along as a tool of a vengeful woman, Christie Maldinado who was far more intent on vengeance for her ex than in doing what is best for veronica or her other two children. She deceived Dusten from the start and has used you to fight her battle and hurt Dusten, and made you paid the bills for it all!  It is never in a child’s best interest to speak badly of their parent as she has done.

Adoption is about helping children who are “unwanted" or not being well cared for. veronica was not wanted by her mother, but that has never bene true of her father. This little girl is happily with FAMILY who love her and are caring for her very well. Why take her away from that? Why would you do that, because you CAN?  How will you tell her later WHY you fought to keep her from her blood-kin who wanted her so very desperately? Is that love?

Stop the insanity! 
This is not adoption in the child's best interest. This is not "rescuing" an unwanted abused or neglected orphan.  This is a cruel TRAVESTY. She may be yours “technically” and “legally” yours, but she is not a piece of furniture. She is a little girl who has suffered enough already and is in a safe, loving place. Let her be! If you love her you’ll let her go. To take her is selfish. Have a heart and put HER needs first. That is true love.

Mirah Riben, author and adoption researcher...also a mother who made the greatest sacrifice and let my child go when I was told it was the unselfish thing to do and best for her....

19 comments:

Robin said...

I am beside myself over this case. I have been reading, commenting, emailing and telling everyone who will listen.

kym said...

Me too, Robin. Thank you. I think you first pointed me to FB: StandingOurGroundForVeronicaBrown.

Amber said...

I agree with you completely. Many potential adoptive parents, upon realizing the child had a fit, loving biological parent who wanted to raise him or her, would simply start looking for another child.

Adoptive parents who are literally willing to use technicalities and conflicts-of-interest within the legal system to actually force a child from natural parents are predators. People with no capacity to understand a underage person's thoughts, feelings, true needs, and civil rights have *no business* adopting!!

I pray this beautiful girl gets to grow up with her kin. All of the fought-over adoptions where the child went back to the biological parents were grateful they got to grow up with their natural families.

Unknown said...

I think you have some facts wrong. Ms. Maldonado did NOT speak poorly of Mr. Brown. She gave the facts, under oath, but she has spoken publicly only once, with simple statements of fact about Mr. Brown. http://articles.washingtonpost.com/2013-07-12/opinions/40529306_1_matt-and-melanie-adoptive-parents-melanie-capobianco. I also see no evidence of vengeance when I read what all parties said under oath. http://scholar.google.com/scholar_case?case=8759635594638469519&q=Adoptive+Couple+v.+Baby+Girl&hl=en&as_sdt=2,41&as_ylo=2009

Mirah Riben said...

She labelled him a "deadbeat dad."

And that is a moot point. The fact is that adoption in INAPPROPRIATE FOR A CHILD WHO HAS LOVING, CARING FAMILY! PERIOD!

Robin said...

Your welcome, Kym. Also, check out http://www.keepveronicahome.com. Please sign the Whitehouse petition and email the Oklahoma Attorney General. I really think we can make a difference if a large enough number of us make our voices heard.

Lorraine Dusky said...

Oh please--UNKNOWN--Christy Maldono misspelled Dusten Brown's name, wanted to go ahead with giving away their daughter without informing him that she was planning the girl to do that, and now has an attorney all over the place talking about THE LAW AS DECIDED BY A BIASED COURT. In this case, I have nothing but disdain for the mother.

Brown is the father and should be allowed to raise his daughter, as it will be in the best interests of the girl to be raised with her biological kin.

Anonymous said...

Who is the adoptive mother? An internet search brings up nothing, no name, no age, no occupation, no workplace. Why is that?

Amy Stoll said...

I used to live in Bartlesville and surrounding area. What the Capobiancos did was horrible. Chrissy Maldonaldo is another piece of real work. She lied about her daughter's heritage on the ICPC form. We don't have the facts wrong. You do, UNKOWN.

Anonymous said...

Adoption is about helping children who are “unwanted" or not being well cared for.

I'm appalled by this statement. As a mother of two adopted children and three biological children I pray that my children NEVER come across a statement in their life! We adopted one child out of foster care because her mother wasn't able to get her life straight but we hope that our daughter knows that she loved her and wanted her just has problems that are bigger than her. Our other daughter was a private adopt and we have an open adoption with both parents. Both felt they were unable to care for the child therefore made the hardest decision of their life. PS, the father has 3 other children. Our daughter is VERY LOVED by them and they did want her! She wasn't given away because of anything more than the fact that both of them had seen the affects of a child that was raised in proverty and with only one parent. They wanted more for her!!! Everyone sees the world differently and have different value systems they live by. Quit judging them. How dare you tell my children and other adopted children that they are unwanted!

Mirah Riben said...

I stand by what I said. The purpose of adoption is to find homes for children who are orphaned, abandoned, abused, neglected or simply unwanted.

My point remains that VERONICA was none of these and thus should never have been adopted.

Capable parents like Dusten Brown, who love and want their children, should never be duped, deceived or pressured to relinquish a child to meet a demand.

Other parents, such as the mother of one of your children, who are experiencing temporary difficulties should receive whatever resources they need to overcome those problems and keep their families intact - not be told that their children would be "better off" if adopted because adoption does not guarantee a "better life" and in fact inflicts unique problems who are separated from their kin.

Your other child' has TWO parents who both felt not properly capable of parenting. VERONICA's mother made a sole decision and over-rode the rights of Veronica's capable, loving father and extended family. She was and is WANTED by her blood-kin FAMILY and thus adoption should never have been an option.

Adoption SHOULD be for unwanted or at-risk children, but unfortunately because of the demand for children, many capable, loving parents here and abroad have their temporary problems exploited to meet a demand. This is in no way a judgment of such parents. It is a crying shame and a judgement of the demand-driven adoption industry.

Unknown said...

Unknown is a retarded liar and he/she knows. That is why they used the name "unknown". The Capobiancos should be hung for the crime they committed against this child and her family.

Anonymous said...

I just came across this and I know the case is over, but I just had to comment.

I have read available court documents and I really have to disagree with your on this. When Veronica was adopted she absolutely was an unwanted child. In court, under oath Dusten Brown said that he did not intend to pay child support or see the child, except maybe sometime down the line. There are text messages to Maldonado from Brown where he said he intended to sign over his parental rights.

The biological parents, Brown and Maldonado broke up when she was 5 months pregnant. So Brown knew when the baby was due, that date is given during the first ultrasound. He made absolutely no effort to see the child after she was born. The only person in his family that made any attempt at all was his mother and she made one attempt in 4 months. Brown signed a document saying he consented to the adoption when Veronica was 4 months old and then changed his mind. It is very clear that Brown didn't want anything to do with Veronica until after he signed that document. He didn't file for custody of her until after the document was already signed. Those are the facts of the case, and they show me that Veronica was unwanted by her father. She was given up for adoption when she was an unwanted child. The only person in this case that is treating Veronica like a piece of furniture is Dusten Brown.

What he has done to that little girl is absolutely despicable. No loving parent would treat their child the way he has treated her. He cared more about himself and what he wanted instead of what was best for little Veronica. She was in a loving home with parents who had been there since day one.

When Brown won custody because of ICWA he made no transition for Veronica, even though that is what the court suggested. The first time he met Veronica he put her in his truck and drove her halfway across the country. He cut off all contact with her adoptive parents, the only people she knew as mom and dad. That is just cruel. Then when the Capobiancos won custody and again a transition plan was suggested, he refused that one as well.

Based on everything I know about this case the only person who was vengeful was Dusten Brown, not Christie Maldinado. He didn't want to co parent with his ex and didn't want his child until she was already in a loving home. The Capobiancos did nothing wrong in this situation. They fought for a daughter that they loved and cared for. If your child was taken away, would you just say oh well and have another one?

Just ask yourself this, if Brown wanted his child, why didn't he try to get custody of her before she was born or directly after? Why did he wait until until after he signed a document saying he consented to the adoption when Veronica was 4 months old? What kind of father doesn't try to see their newborn baby?

Cindy said...

I just came across this and I know the case is over, but I just had to comment.

I have read available court documents and I really have to disagree with your on this. When Veronica was adopted she absolutely was an unwanted child. In court, under oath Dusten Brown said that he did not intend to pay child support or see the child, except maybe sometime down the line. There are text messages to Maldonado from Brown where he said he intended to sign over his parental rights.

The biological parents, Brown and Maldonado broke up when she was 5 months pregnant. So Brown knew when the baby was due, that date is given during the first ultrasound. He made absolutely no effort to see the child after she was born. The only person in his family that made any attempt at all was his mother and she made one attempt in 4 months. Brown signed a document saying he consented to the adoption when Veronica was 4 months old and then changed his mind. It is very clear that Brown didn't want anything to do with Veronica until after he signed that document. He didn't file for custody of her until after the document was already signed. Those are the facts of the case, and they show me that Veronica was unwanted by her father. She was given up for adoption when she was an unwanted child. The only person in this case that is treating Veronica like a piece of furniture is Dusten Brown.

What he has done to that little girl is absolutely despicable. No loving parent would treat their child the way he has treated her. He cared more about himself and what he wanted instead of what was best for little Veronica. She was in a loving home with parents who had been there since day one.

When Brown won custody because of ICWA he made no transition for Veronica, even though that is what the court suggested. The first time he met Veronica he put her in his truck and drove her halfway across the country. He cut off all contact with her adoptive parents, the only people she knew as mom and dad. That is just cruel. Then when the Capobiancos won custody and again a transition plan was suggested, he refused that one as well.

Based on everything I know about this case the only person who was vengeful was Dusten Brown, not Christie Maldinado. He didn't want to co parent with his ex and didn't want his child until she was already in a loving home. The Capobiancos did nothing wrong in this situation. They fought for a daughter that they loved and cared for. If your child was taken away, would you just say oh well and have another one?

Just ask yourself this, if Brown wanted his child, why didn't he try to get custody of her before she was born or directly after? Why did he wait until until after he signed a document saying he consented to the adoption when Veronica was 4 months old? What kind of father doesn't try to see their newborn baby?

Mirah Riben said...

Anon, You made an excellent argument and totally changed my mind! NOT. Your argument might impress someone who did not know the facts of this case as you selectively omit some very important facts such as Dusten serving his nation in the military when his daughter was born. He was also ok not pressing for custody when he believed that Christie would continue to be Veronica's mother. However, he never knew she intended to let his daughter go to strangers until after it was a done deal and that's when he opposed.

Anonymous said...

Dusten was in the military, but he was not deployed. He was living on base 4 hours away from where Maldonado lived. Brown was not deployed until Veronica was 4 months old!

Still the fact remains, Brown did not attempt to see his daughter in the 4 months after she was born. He did not try to establish any kind of parental rights from the time he and Maldonado broke up until after he signed a document stating he didn't contest the adoption. Brown even stated under oath that he did not intend to pay child support or be a part of Veronicas life unless he and Maldonado got back together. It is all there in the court documents. I have read them, and it is all fact.

Mirah Riben said...

I already addressed this and it was addressed in court. he was ok with veronica's mother having sole custody but was never informed of her intentions to place her for adoption without his consent. period.

Anonymous said...

"He was also ok not pressing for custody when he believed that Christie would continue to be Veronica's mother."


He never intended to be a father to Veronica. That much he has said himself. Brown said he though the documents he was signing was to sign over his parental rights to Maldonado. So, that says that he planned to be no more than a sperm doner, a deadbeat dad.

He does not get to sign over his parental right and then attach strings. Sorry, but Dusten Brown is not a victim here. In fact, he is the one who started this whole mess. If he had stepped up and been a father to Veronica from the beginning then this would have never happened. She wouldn't have been taken from her home twice.

Mirah Riben said...

YOU ARE RIGHT! Dusten is not the victim here. Veronica is!

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