Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Blood Ties

Anyone who questions the importance of blood ties and paternity ought to take a day off, stay home and watch daytime TV.

No, not the soaps. Watch Divorce Court, and other Judge shows, or the Maurey Povich Show. There is no end to the steady stream of couples coming on the show to get DNA testing to verify paternity of chidlren.

Two general themes are this:

I. Men who do not beleive a child born to their girlfreind or wife during their marriage or relationship is theirs. Most often their reason for doubting paternity more than anything else (such as suspicions of infidelty) is their concern that the baby doesn't look like them.

II. Women who want to prove - or find out - who is the father of their child. In these cases, many of the women admit not being sure. Others say they are 100% positive but need to prove it.

Interesting, is:
  • The ignorance that a baby may not look like his father, especially immediately after birth.
  • Strong denial of the POSSIBILITY of paternity despite admitting to having had unprotected sex with the baby's mother.
  • The vast majority of the young men, if they are already acting the role of father to the child or chidlren, say that they will continue in that role even if proven not be the biological father.
  • The infidelity and lack of trust seems irrelevant to thse couple. The only conern is biological connection. Many men based their decision to remain in the relationship with the mother on that one fact alone - even those who want to continue to have a relationship with the child.
Overall, it is amazing eye-opener about the importance placed on genetic parentage.


Anonymous said...

Did you know that 5 bloggers at adoption.com quit recently and started a new site? I hear that they got weary with the censoring of their work. They were told that adoption should be always portrayed as a 'happy' solution.
The other site, www.ouradopt.com seems to want people with all opinions to join the fray.
Just wondered what you thought & did not know how to email you.

AdoptAuthor said...


Thanks for the heads up.

BTW, I'm easy to reach through Origins-USA or AdvocatePublications.com

Friends of mine know that. (Also anyone who would take the time to check out any facts would as well.)

It seems this new blog is supported heartily by Sandra Hanks Benoitin who was kicked off a.com for being one of the most virulent pro-adoption and mean and nasty to anyone with an alternative opinion...hmmmm. She uses the term "we" in speaking about the founding of this new blog. That can't be good!

I'd advise caution in approaching it...

Anonymous said...

Actually, I think Mz. Hanks-Benoiton would welcome you there. I was reading her personal blog and it seems she has recently embraced the Bastard Nation's quest for open records, a good thing.
From what I hear, A.com actually did a lot of pushing behind the scenes for bloggers to stick only to writing positives on adoption. I think those bloggers who left were unhappy with that in part.

You are right, being cautious is a good idea, but I hope that I will find people with a lot of different opinions there.

Thanks for your thoughts about the situation.

AdoptAuthor said...

Supporting open records in 2008 is no big whoop.

Who are you, anonymous???

Anonymous said...

LOL, well I am nobody special, just someone who enjoys reading your blog & would love to see you share your insights with that new group.

AdoptAuthor said...

A mystery "fan" eh?

How interesting. Wonder why you are so resistant to reveal yourself.

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