Falsified Birth Certificates

birth' certif"icate

http://dictionary.infoplease.com/birth-certificate

an official form recording the birth of a baby and containing pertinent data, as name, sex, date, place, and parents.

• BIRTH CERTIFICATE (noun)
http://www.audioenglish.net/dictionary/birth_certificate.htm

The noun BIRTH CERTIFICATE has 1 sense:

1. a copy of the official document giving details of a person's birth

Dictionary: birth certificate
http://www.answers.com/topic/birth-certificate

n. An official record of the date and place of a person's birth, usually including the names of the parents.

Familiarity information: BIRTH CERTIFICATE used as a noun is very rare.

I also encourage all to read the wikipedia explanation of birth certificates as a vital record, because because the Fourteenth Amendment expressly grounds American citizenship upon birth in the United States. [Note the word BIRTH]

____________

When we look at the history of "sealed records" the rationale was to protect the child from the stigma of illegitimacy.

The secondary rationale is the alleged protection of supposed promises ho lost children to adoption. A lie started by the NCFA and too often believed by legislators, as is the lie that opening the records would increase abortions. Neither claim has any substantiation because neither is true.

Those who recognize this as a violation of human rights, discrimination and a legalization of shame, seek to return to the pre-1940's sealing of birth certificates - to a form of adoption that is closer to permanent legal guardianship.

The one singular objection to this suggestion is that adopted people would be "embarrassed" or uncomfortable not sharing the same surname with the parents raising them. This is a time when many women keep their maiden name after marriage and step families with multiple names are prevalent.

Ironically, at the same time we are supposed to be protective of children's alleged embarrassments, and continue to legalize secrets and lies to "protect" mothers...gays are making strides in the recognition of their equality. Their right to marry is being seriously considered and has been made legal in a couple of states and they are battling for the right to adopt.

New York State which recognizes same sex marriage recently placed the name of a lesbian's wife on their child's birth certificate. As a result a federal judge ordered the names of two fathers who adopted a child added to his birth certificate. The child was born in Louisiana and adopted in New York.

It is interesting that lesbians welcome patriarchal laws that recognize the legal spouse as parent; laws enacted to protect rights of inheritance when women did not count at all for that purpose.

It is also interesting that in fighting for their equality and rights, gays and lesbians are equally guilty of dishonoring the rights of the adopted as are heterosexuals.

Children are expected to deal with having two mommies or two daddies in their life - and named as their progenitors on their falsified birth certificate - but are alleged to be uncomfortable with not having the same name as their parents...or having a birth certificate and an adoption certificate.

Let's get real here. We are not living in the 1950's. Laws need to change to reflect social and cultural changes.

COMMENTS welcomed. I have reopened the comment option and will screen and post all ISSUE-ORIENTED, non-attacking comments. Commenters are encouraged to state their agreement or disagreement politely, with RESPECT and courtesy to this blog and others who comment.

Thank you...

Click on the image to see a beautiful collection of wide women's words...

HAVEN'T GOT TIME FOR THE PAIN
Carly Simon

Lyrics (Carly Simon/Jacob Brackman)

All those crazy nights when I cried myself to sleep
Now melodrama never makes me weep anymore
'Cause I haven't got time for the pain
I haven't got room for the pain
I haven't the need for the pain
Not since I've known you

You showed me how, how to leave myself behind
How to turn down the noise in my mind
Now I haven't got time for the pain
I haven't got room for the pain
I haven't the need for the pain
Not since I've known you

Suffering was the only thing that made me feel I was alive
Though that's just how much it cost to survive in this world
'Til you showed me how, how to fill my heart with love
How to open up and drink in all that white LIGHT
Pouring down from the heaven
I haven't got time for the pain
I haven't got room for the pain
I haven't the need for the pain
Not since I've known you

------------------------------------

Thanks to those who wrote with understanding and support....they don't need to be named; they know who they are. Bless you all...

UPDATED 3/28/09:
As for a suggestion I name who upset me and have made spurious or paranoid speculations, let me simply say this. One major upset happened via Facebook and the other happened totally offline.

They were temporary annoyances and upsetting and nothing more. But inasmuch as both incidents were misdirected anger by those who have suffered adoption loss I saw a connection and in an effort to understand, feel compassion, and forgive, I blogged about it. I think it sad that our P.A.S.T. is too often misdirected. Period. End of story. Who upset me is no ones business except mine and theirs. They were each confronted directly and they know who they are.

Again, I am thankful for all the loving, caring support. Some days you just get dumped on.

Namaste: The God/Goddess Spirit (or light) within me recognizes and honors the God/Goddess Spirit (or light) within you.

It's Good to be HEARD!

It is always heartwarming to know that our words are heard and appreciated. WE ARE MAKING A DIFFERENCE...if only one person at a time!

I received the following email today from an Jennifer Hemsley, who you may remember I had awarded Family Preservation "Hero of the Year" for 2008. Jennifer was at the same NYC adoption conference as I last week. Her email to me - below - could not have come at a better time then when I was felling so totally burnt out by all the negativity.

An online blog comment (at Origins-USA.org/blog) had jumped to conclusions and was critical of my asking that conference attendees be aware of mothers who lost adoption and out desire to self-identify. So it was especially heartfelkt to receive this email from Jennifer:

Mirah,


It was so good to meet you at the NYC conference.


I'm glad we touched base. Thank you for your support..... I'm not too good at public speaking (but can "do a good email"). Your smile and hand squeeze really meant a lot to me after I left that very unfriendly microphone.


I wanted to express to you that I truly understand the bias against first mothers in the adoption vernacular. Once your eyes are open to it, it is quite shocking at the dismissive attitude towards first families and women in general. I find this particularly true when discussing first families in developing nations (not so ironically "countries of origin"). These women are not breeding machines for adopting parents needs. I now see this as a human rights/women's rights issue. I will continue to speak out for those that cannot as best as I can.


I am networking with others who have similar agendas as mine, and I am pleased to find them around the world, addressing similar trafficking issues in other countries. Although my "heart" and focus right now is in Guatemala, I am deeply concerned about Vietnam, Nepal and Ethiopia.


I have been in touch with ... journalist who is doing an expose on the women of Guatemala. I discussed at length the DNA fraud that is still going on. There is more in the pipeline..... so I'd like to stay in touch. Thank you for that contact and at the same time respecting my privacy by passing the message via PEAR.


Best to you,
Jennifer

Burn Out

A follow up to the previous post...

Sadly, the adoption reform and family preservation movements are the most back stabbing I have ever been involved in and I have done grassroots volunteerism all of my adult life. I was marginally involved in civil rights in the 50's and 60's, the anti-war movement...and remain a peace activist to this day.

It's night and day. Peace activists are the antithesis of the angry people in adoption who take their anger out on one another.

Last night I heard a very angry poet. His name is Remi Kanazi. He is a Palestinian American. If you read his poems you'll lack the full force of his anger! He is performance poet and he is powered by righteous indignation, especially since the recent Gaza bombings.

There were some in the church last night who did not fully agree with his message or the tone of his presentation. But even those people were all polite and he, respectful of them in turn.

No where else do I witness the vicious attacks against fellow workers that in the paid workplace would be considered creating a hostile work environment, and in any other part of a civilized society would be considered rude. Manners just disappear.

Yes, we've suffered losses that result in anger. But, my God, people have lost their entire families in war get along better than we do.

It wears one down, instead of feeling supported by "co-workers"..."sisters in solidarity" as we should be.

I have work to do. I seek to end unwarranted family separations, exploitation, corruption. I do everything I can and I do it fairly well. My books have been well received which pleases me because this is important work.

Because of the radical nature of my writing, I had expected (anticipated?) hostility from those who want adoption to continue for their profit. I never expected - nor did I ever experience subsequent to the publication of my first book - jalousies and contempt from those who seemingly share my point of view.

Am I saying I have never been critical? Far from it! When I disagree I share my opinions loud and clear and in a direct fashion - allowing for an open debate based on ISSUES - not personal attacks!

The Internet brings out the worst in everyone. It never ceases to amaze me comparing the adoption reform movement pre and post Internet how much more cohesive a NETWORK we were before being linked technologically.

My work is important and I have a goal that I cannot accomplish while being drained by in-fighting, nastiness, etc. I am felling on the verge of another long hiatus from it all...

It is this burn-out - along with the massive drop-out rate, and lack of finances - that causes our movement to stagnate and get nowhere, accomplish paltry few goals.

Sad. As I have also written the internet is a tool. It can be used for good or for evil. It seems to have allowed everyone their own platform and done more to divide than to help us conquer together.

As a final observation....those who commented on my last blog post trolled here on their own. I sent no announcement. I was then, and am now, merely "journalling" my own feelings. But the sharks came and attacked....those who have nothing constructive to do but bite the asses of those who are trying their best to work for mothers and families. Sad, sad, sad...

P.A.S.T.: Post-Adoption Separation Trauma

P.A.S.T. and uncontrollable anger...

It's real and it cab be toxic. P.A.S.T seems to be prevalent and most OBVIOUS in the form of anger, though of course it can also crete depression and other manifestations.

I have no doubt that it effects others in quite the opposite way and makes some shy and withdrawn, remain in total denial - what me? Adopted? Yeah,but it was for the best and I'm quite happy. Lost a child to adoption? Angry? Of course not.

It makes some perennial victims - doormats, if you will - and has others just believing that they are.

But the most pervasive symptom, or at least the one I witness most often amongst those I come into contact with most often -- adoptees and mothers who lost children to adoption -- who are actively discussing adoption issues...is anger!

It takes several different forms.

There are some blog trollers (whom we've all met!) who go from blog to blog and disagree. No matter what is posted, one in particular, has a very different point of view, and can only express it in the most extreme, contrary and attacking fashion.

If you are for peace, she is for war. If you are against immigration, she is for it. It doesn't seem to matter and follows no pattern of liberalism versus conservatism...her political/religious belief is just contraryism! And she is darn proud of it as well!

Then there are the more scary ones because they catch you off guard. You can know these people for a day or years and things can go along rather smoothly. You have a very civil, kind, respectful dialogue with them for the day or year that you know them and then: POW! BAM! They go BALLISTIC over the most minor thing and cannot control the vile spewing from their mouth and covering you with their UGLY toxic venom....anymore than the little girl in the movie The Exorcist!

And... of course, an apology is no where to be found. In one case recently the perpetrator of this insanity totally denied saying what she said to me, despite it all being in written emails! In another recent case the perpetrator imemdiatwelt became the victim! Neither apologized for their totally INAPPROPRIATE behavior or the very unkind, hurtful things aid to me when they went into their rage.

Now, I have anger too! Oh yes indeed. No doubt about it. I have written about channeling anger constructively in activism. Yet, there have been times when I felt out of control and controlled by my anger. BUT, I have always experienced extreme embarrassment when I have "lost it" in anger. Even when justified and having exploded on one of those real live yet very robotic people on the telephone who repeats the same script over and over instead of answering your question! I blow up, get sarcastic...even slam the phone down. But I feel like and ASS after I do, and if I have done so to anyone I know -- and not just a passing car on the highway - I APOLOGIZE! But, that's me.

I also am self aware enough to know, that while everyone has these moments, and that there is a great deal in our high-speed world to add to our frustration...I know that underneath it all are my adoption issue "triggers."

I know it is an "You know you are separated by adoption when..." moment!

My triggers are:

- feeling pressured, rushed, gotta make a decision right now with no time to think (like some car salesman do to you!)

- needing to "right" and hating to be "wrong" - thus engaging in being arguments way too long and unable to just end it, walk away, hit delete...

- feeling ignored, invisible and unheard (probably why I speak loud and fast - and this one may have it source in my parentage and precede my loss to adoption)

- taking things too personally and getting my feelings hurt

- I identify with underdogs; discrimination and social injustices upset me.

- very innocuous comments like: "I can make you laugh" elicits the thought that no one can MAKE me do anything!

It is cathartic to discuss our triggers, and even to be able to laugh at them. But it is seriously important that we learn to recognize and gain some level of control over the way we react, lest we sabotage all of our relationships with family, friends and lovers as well as our job, career and our whole life!

In the past two weeks, I was exposed to toxic venom by an adoptee and a natural mother. One I had just "met" on the internet but had had a half dozen or so pleasant, respectful emails back and forth as she told me of her reunion. I was supportive and courteous to this stranger. And then: BAM! I made an error and instead of simply pointing it out and asking me to correct it, she went totally psycho on me, spewing four letter words and saying very hurtful things.
The second incident involved a mother I have known as a highly respected colleague for a couple of years.

I understand the root of their anger has nothing to do with me or anything I did or aid, or didn't do or say. I understand and have compassion and forgiveness, though it sure would be nice to get an apology, certainly if there is to be any contnued interactions.

But therein lies the rub. People who are out of control and have not begun any self-introspecton as to the cuase nd ffect of their actons and behavir... people who are often not evcenaware of what tey are saying, also are often one in the same people who are incapable of apologizing because they see an apology as an admission of guilt. It is not!

If you step on someone's toes - ACCIDENTLY - most people in polite society say: "I'm sorry." You are sorry that you ACCIDENTALLY may have hurt the person. You are not admitting that you did it intentionally. there is nothing inherent in an apology that implies that.

Yet another way you know you suffer form P.A.S.T. is if you have an inability to accept, or "own" anything you have done. If you are always on the defense; always feel you are being "blamed" for things you didn't do. Often feel like the victim of others "abuse" when someone is simply expressing their own feelings. And so it goes round and round...

Carole Anderson, may she rest in peace, used to call us "the walking wounded."

We are, but we cannot let it rule our lives and it does not excuse rude behavior! We need to GROW UP and take back control of our lives and our actions.
It may be UNDERSTANDABLE but that doesn't make it acceptable or excusable!

Join the discussion - which has 96 members so far! Share your experiences at: "You know you are separated by adoption when..." Hopefully it will be fun, cathartic and enlightening to those who think adoption is a win-win.

And...if you're having a bd day,week, year or life....having a pity-party or wallowing in it...watch this:

http://www.4marks.com/videos/details.html?video_id=723

Internet MIS-Information

The Internet is a tool. Tools can be used for good or evil -- or just improperly mis-used.

How sad and cruel for those who search the Internet and come across BS like that which follows.

How sad I see no way to comment or to write to the wonders of this venue. if you do, please do and let others know how:

Searching For Adoption Records
By Jason Voxly
You're on this page because you have come to the point in your life when you are curious about who your real parents are. Do they miss me? Do they even think about me any more? These are probably just two of many, many questions that ...

Gotta Love The NCFA-Holes!

Ya' gotta admire their chutzpah and the money they spend on PR. Ya' gotta love the new and amazing ways they invent to bend the English language.

They are now calling open records - as opposed to mutual consent registries - "mandatory" openness!

man⋅da⋅to⋅ry

   /ˈmændəˌtɔri, -ˌtoʊri/ Show Spelled Pronunciation [man-duh-tawr-ee, -tohr-ee]
adjective, noun, plural -ries. –adjective

1.	authoritatively ordered; obligatory; compulsory: It is mandatory that all students take two years of math.

2.	pertaining to, of the nature of, or containing a command.

3.	Law. permitting no option; not to be disregarded or modified: a mandatory clause.

4.	having received a mandate, as a nation.

So... equal access to one's birth certificate, would MANDATE or FORCE people to know one's name or to meet them? Adoptees would be ORDERD to have their mothers over for Thanksgiving dinner and mother who lots children to adoption would be "permitted no option" but to visit their child every Christmas and ground hog's day?? No choices!?? (Wondrr what the epenalty is for NOT looking at your mother's name - since it's "mandao=ry" if the records are opened!).

Gee...and I thought it would just make the equal to non-adopted persons! But I guess it makes us all obligated and mandated to have contact with one another....whether we ant to or not!

What clever HYPE! What a crock!

Here's one of my favorites arguments the NCFA puts forth against the Donaldson Institute's report on open records:

"Because there is no fundamental right to know the identities of others, birthparents or otherwise, adopted persons are not being unlawfully discriminated against if they are denied access to their birthparents’ identities."

Hey, NCFA-holes:

1) there also is no law prohibiting knowing any stranger!

2) it IS discrimination when anyone else CAN know their birthparent's identity EXCEPT those who are adopted, and

3) ever hard of BIRTH creating an "intimate relationship" - the courts have!

“The statutory text of FCA 812 plainly states without qualification that members of the same family include those persons related by consanguinity. While respondent may cease being legally recognized as L.'s parent, she remains L.'s birth mother and the two are related by consanguinity.... A person can have but two biological parents. There is potentially significant emotional and psychological impact upon a child from a biological parent who seeks to continue a relationship with the child after the child has been adopted into another family. In recognition that a biological relationship may have a special significance which can be beneficial or harmful to an adopted child depending upon the circumstances, legislation has been enacted ranging from permitting some form of contact between the biological parent and child to continue post adoption to altogether terminating the biological parent's right to have contact with the child to prevent unwanted intrusion by the child's former biological relatives to promote the stability of the newly adoptive family (see, Matter of Jacob, 86 NY2d 651, 663 - 666)." From K.J. v. K.K.