Living in the tri-state (NY) area, television news programming is filled with 9/11 memorial services. Loved ones remember and reflect. Local towns throughout the east coast have memorial programs to memorialize the anniversary, commemorate the devastating losses.
Family members of those who lost their lives that day, solemnly - some tearfully - speak of how they keep their mothers, fathers, son, daughters and spouses alive in their hearts. Some are children who never met or were too young remember their parents who perished. Heartbreaking.
"Never forget" is the battle cry of the world's Jewish population who lost so many during The Holocaust. They too memorialize their loved ones in monuments, museums, documentaries, history books... to see to it that no one ever forgets, lest the horror be repeated.
No one dares to dishonor the loss these survivers by labeling them angry, yet I would imagine some, if asked would decribe that along with grief and sadness they experience a great deal of RAGE at what occurred.
No.... I am NOT comparing the loss adoption inflicts on adopted persons and their natural families to death or to horriffic acts of senseless mass violence - or to acts of war or terorism.
I personally have experienced both losses - adoption and the death of my child. I can thus attest to the fact they are not equal or to be compared.
Nor, do I in any way wish to lessen or detract from the magnitude of death of a loved one. I just wonder why it's OK to diminish our losses and to label us perjoritavely when we express our grief over our loss.
No one would DARE call 9/11 mourners, Holocaut survivors or ANYONE grieivng the death of a loved one "disgruntled" or BITTER! Can you imagine the outcries?
Why then is it acceptable to so demean our losses?
The answer is simple: Because unnlike these deaths, our losses created joy for others and those others want to perpetuate more losses to make others happy.
It's like promoting more fatal auto accidents in order to have ample organs desperately needed for transplant.
"Adoption Loss is the only trauma in the world where the victims are expected by the whole of society to be grateful" - The Reverend Keith C. Griffith