Dig beneath the facade online and you find things like the observations below, posted on China Adopt Talk a blog for those in the process or having newly adopted from China. The post is entitled "The Not-So-Rosy Part" which is actually, for the most art a constructive article on anticipating and how to overcome attachment problems, but begins with these horrifying realities:
"I’ve read blogs of people who are home and who are miserable."I’ve read about recent disruptions."And I’ve read posts from people on various groups and blogs, where the people are sure their new family member hates them, and some of them sound like they’re starting to hate their child."
Those of us in the adoption community know full well that these issues are far from limited to adoptions from China. In fact, Russia has the highest rate of adoptees murdered by their US adopters (a two-page listing is posted on the pro-adoption Adoption.com site. While there are other sources of this information I use this one to "prove" that this is not anti-adoptionists making false claims or exaggerating truths) and the most notable case of abandonment - Artyem put alone at 7 years of age on an airplane back to Russia.
Buried beneath layers of popular beliefs about the nobility of adoption as way of "saving" and "rescuing" "unwanted" "orphans" are admissions such as this comment to my previous blog post by Jess:
"Regarding the Wo Ai Ni (I Love You) Mommy incident with the PAP counting out the cash. I just want to clear up something... It's not *exactly* a bribe..... Officially, it's a compulsory "orphanage donation".... The requirement is that the money be brought in clean, undamaged, US bills. Since my trip, the amount has gone from 3K - 7K.The same is revealed in Finding Fernanda and The Stork Market. The willingness of those adopting to ignore red flashing lights to get what they want.
"I am not defending the cash at all, and it is the source of corruption in the adoption process, absolutely. But it has also gone to fund the social welfare institute system in China, generally improving the state of orphanage care, including for children with special needs, and care for the elderly.
One can argue, of course, that this doesn't excuse the system and that China had the money to revamp the SWI system. But it chose not to, and chose instead to make PAPs pay.
"In some ways...a bribe would be less contentious. The cash in the China system has done more than pay off individuals: it has corrupted the system entirely so that even in the face of dwindling numbers of children, the machine just keeps running....."China says 'cash only, madam' you say how much and when.... Foolishly I thought that graft was the only issue and supposed that they were not making improvements to the SWI system as promised. However, it looks as though they did use the money to improve the system and there was some graft (cars, that kind of stuff), but most important, the donation for each child created a kind of ponzi scheme in which middlemen would receive a small percentage of the funds to entice, bribe, or otherwise coax children away from parents so that a supply of children--each valued at $3000 - $7000, depending on the time frame--would be somewhat assured, and yet everyone knew that there would never be enough children to meet the demand of adopters."
Behind the curtain in Oz was not a wizard, but an old man blowing smoke. Behind the curtain of all the altruism and nobility of adoption is the sheer selfishness of any junkie who "wants what I want" and doesn't care the cost to anyone in terms of dollars and cents or harm. Every person who adds to the demand creates and supports the corruption and perpetuates child trafficking and baby brokering. Every person who CHOOSES to hand over those bribes or turns a blind eye and deaf ear to obvious "irregularities" as glaring as two children with the same photo and different name or vice versa...is causing and contributing to the exploitation, coercion, lies, deceit of adoption.
There would be no drug dealers if no one used narcotics. There'd be no prostitution if men did not buy sex. And there would be no child trafficking without people willing to ante up the fees - even when doing so under the guise of the best intentions or missionary work, or the voice of God....or the justification that they are giving kids a "better life." better by whose definition? Do the kids get to choose whether they thinks it's better to have a color TV or their REAL Mom, siblings, languages, culture?
And the irony of this is that we mothers were told that we were selfish to even think about wanting to keep, raise and nurture our own flesh blood children. We were selfish - but those who prey on the weak and poor marginalized mothers of the world and commodify their children to fill for their own desires - are they not the truly selfish ones?