Monday, December 24, 2007

Seven Sceanarios

ABAGAIL is a 36 attorney with an up and coming law firm in Des Moines. She would love to be married, but has not found the “right” guy. Desperate about her time slipping away, Abby has decided to go the route of anonymous inseminations. She considered other options: a one night stand, or asking someone she knew to “donate” sperm but decided she trusts the fertility clinic to screen applicants better and thinks it best not to get entangled with a man who might want to be involved in ways she’d not be happy with.

BEATRICE, 34, has been married ten years and has four kids: 9, 7, 5 and 2. Bea’s husband Joe was a local trucker just outside of Baton Rouge until he lost his job after a serious accident that left him disabled. Bea works nights at the WalMart. Things have been very tight and they have had to accept food stamps to supplement their income. They are hard working but poor. Pregnant again, abortion is not an option, but she wonders how they afford to feed another mouth and what they will do about medical expenses since they have no health insurance.

CHARLEEN is a 17-year-old high school senior. She is on the honor role, popular, active in sports and college bound. She just found out that she is pregnant by her long-term boyfriend. Her parents – and his - love her (and him) and want what is best but are confused. They are being told that she will ‘ruin their lives’ to keep this child and that there are so many moving couples who have so much more to offer.

DIERDRE is a 44 schoolteacher in Portland. Marriage and family has been her life’s dream, but it hasn’t happened after years of marriage. She and her graphic artist husband have weighed the costs and success rate of fertility treatments and find it too risky a financial investment. They’d rather use that money of a college fund and have decided to adopt. Research into that has led Deirdre to decide upon international adoption as a better option as there seem to be more babies available that way, and the bonus is not having to fear a mother changing her mind.

ELAINE is a 54-year-old CEO of a publicly-owned corporation in Westchester, NY. Married for two years, she has tried unsuccessfully to conceive a child and has spent more than $40,000 on fertility treatments. It has been determined that she does not produce viable eggs. Egg donation is an option, but Elaine is reluctant to take the time from her career as she is aware that at her age a pregnancy might mean time off her feet, etc. Adoption seems risky in regards to the genetics of the child and her husband has admitted not being able to bond well with a child that was not “his.” They are looking into hiring a surrogate.

FRANCESCA, 42, and her partner co-own a very successful import-export business in Dallas. They met an expectant mother on the internet and paid her medical and living expenses for four months. They were in the delivery room, signed papers and flew home with their son, delighted. Then the baby’s father turned up. He had been deployed in Iraq. Now both the mother and father are joined in fighting to overturn the adoption. The mother claiming she was pressured, and the father never signed anything.

GLORIA, is 32 and delighted to be expecting their first child. She is thoroughly enjoying decorating the nursery and supervising the addition on their estate home to house a nanny. She is very dutifully and carefully pre-screening nannies and aupair agencies and has already investigated nanny-cams to ensure that her precious child receives nothing but the best care.


All of these women want to be Mommies. Each one believes that they could be a good, loving, caring mother. Each one believes beyond a doubt their love can concur any obstacle.


  • If each outcome is as the mother wants it to be who will be the most content with that choice in the short term?
  • The long term?
  • Who receives the most support from family and friends to become a mother as planned?
  • Who will be dissuaded the most as it being a bad idea?
  • Who’s child will be happiest, and best adjusted?
  • Will any choice guarantee a better life for the child or the mother than any other?
  • Which of these women will hear that she “selfish” and her child better off with others?
  • Which are told that their desire to mother this child, is not in her child’s best interest?
  • Which would never hear any such things?


Erika said...

Hello & Happy Holidays!
I noticed you came by my blog.
Your article was succint and right on the money!

I am an author of memoirs, my book Stolen is an account of my family's experiences with adoption.we are now 3 generations via the child welfare system.
it is available online at

i am a firm believer in family preservation.

AdoptAuthor said...

Yes, you have a very intersteing blog! I recommend all my readers check it out:

Thanks for the book info. I will check it out.

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