In honor of this month set aside to extol, pay homage and glorify adoption as the best thing anyone can do... I have come up with the ultimate Adoption Celebration Event!
If you truly support and advocate for adoption, prove it. Be a positive example. Put your money where your mouth is...or, if you've already spent all your money on your kid...put a KID of yours where you mouth is!
Everyone who believes in the positive aspects of adoption - hand over one of your kids!!
Do the right, noble, honorable, loving thing. MAKE A LOVING SACRIFICE! Don't just ask others to do what you yourself wouldn't do! Give...give till it hurts.
The latest report by the NCFA "Birthmother/Good Mother" concludes: "Birthmothers who make adoption plans in the best interest of their children are indeed good mothers." Don't YOU want to be a good mother too??
Why deprive someone else of a child? You can always get another! There are so many people DESPERATE to be parents...good, loving people who can give any one of your child a safe,loving home.
Just look at any website and you will find bios and photos of couple after couple...and singles and gays vying for one of YOUR children! They wouldn't lie, would they? Some even say the adoption will be open! You believe, them, don't you?
And, as a bonus...besides making someone else happy...you can also help add to the wealth of some untrained adoption practitioner or sleazy lawyer who will more than glad to assist you for a fee! After all, baby brokers have to feed their families, too, don't they?
It is universally known that adoption provides less advantaged children with more advantages. So, take stock of yourself, your friends and neighbors.
If they are driving their kids to school in a Chevy mini van...those kids deserve a "better life." Every child deserves to be taken from them and placed with a family who can take them in style...in a limo. And if the school you or they are taking the kids to is public...well, there are plenty of waiting families that can send them to private school. No child should be deprived as long as there is someone else who is better than you!
And, if you divorce...better get those kids placed immediately in a TWO PARENT home...because very child deserves both a Mommy and a Daddy (except of course if you are rich or famous).
Be sure to send a child to a far off land where they don't know the language or the culture! I hear Africa is the latest hot spot. If no one there is willing to take on the responsibility, just assure them that it's only temporary...that you will reclaim your child when he's done with his education. They'll believe you.
LET'S NOT STOP until every single child is redistributed to a new family! That should be the goal of every red-blooded, upstanding, pro-adoption American.
After all - Adoption is a LOVING OPTION! Why deprive ANYONE of the JOY!
Know of a family with a multiple birth?
Please remind them of their moral obligation to give AT LEAST one to someone deserving! And of course, stress how much easier would make their lives...how much kinder to each child they give to have the special attention they deserve instead of of having to share their time, attention, love and resources amongst so many!
They or you can simply drop your kids at your local baby dump site - look in your local yellow pages under "Safe Havens"!
Think your spouse won't agree? Don't tell him or her! No one's approval is needed at these convenient sites! You could even take your neighbors kids and drop them off - safely and lovingly...knowing they will only go the finest loving WAITING families.
DON'T DELAY!
YOUR CHILD WILL THANK YOU!
28 comments:
I love it!
Too perfect for words. You nailed them!!! Good work!
LOL, this is great!
Okay, I am lmao! The really sad thing is, tho, that they will never recognize themselves...
Powerful stuff, Mirah. Unfortunate that those who idealize adoption won't see the irony.
Families who adopt want children that are "unwanted" by their birth parents. No family wants to take away a child from a loving home! Just to clue you in on my story, since you left a comment on my blog and obviously did not read our story on why we are adopting...I met Juanito in May of 2006 on a mission trip with my church. He was abandoned by his mother at birth and lives in an orphange in Guatemala City. He is almost 3 years old now. He has 2 rare congenital heart defects that prevent adaquate oxygen to be delivered throughout his body and his brain which causes seizures. He needs surgery but it is not availble in his country. Previous attempts to bring him to the US for medical treatment has failed. The only option for his survival is to be adopted by a loving family that will get him medical treatment. We want to be that family but the US and Guatemala government are terminating adoptions because "some" children may have been put up for adoption illegally. Would you rather this child die than be adopted? By they way, we have two biological children and we plan to adopt older children from foster care too. Shame on us!
Kristen,
Thank you for your comments.
I am not familiar with the specific details of your particular case, however I will make some general observations.
First: Even based on your situation as you described it - does the poverty and lack of medical care in Guatemala make the child you adopted "unwanted"? What a cruel comment!
Do you think his mother prefers him taken from her, never to be seen again, just to get him well? Do you not see that as the ultimate sacrifice and one that no mother should be forced to make?
Would you now part with your child to save his life??? Ask King Solomon who a "real mother" is!
No mother - and no child - should have to suffer such a loss to receive adequate medical care.
Secondly: Has his mother been verified through DNA testing?
No shame on you for trying and wanting to help. Shame on the world situation for making his mother make this Sophie's Choice - this Solomonic decision...like Jochobed having to sacrifice her son, Moses, to save his life.
Adoption that severs all his ties is not the only option. You can become his legal guardian and get him the medical care he needs and allow him to return to his homeland and his family. You can do the same for any child in foster care. Permanent legal guardianship gives the caregiver all rights to educate and obtain medical treatment for their charge without taking away their name and their right to know - and possibly reconnect with - their family of origins. It is a far more loving option that traditional adoption which gives with one hand and takes with the other, creating huge holes in the hearts of the child and their family that can never be healed.
Any truly altruistic person, such as yourself, should seek out such an alternative option and not juts believe that adoption is th only option.
Finally, i am not personally responsible for closing adoption form Guatemala, or nay place else. i do, however, respect the sovereignty of any nation to regulate the exportation of their chidlren. Worldwide, 80% of chidlren on orphanages have families - many who visit and hope for reunification, as was the case with David Banda adopted by Madonna. Many other children in orphanages have been stolen or kidnapped and sold to the orphanage who them sells them internationally for a higher price, albeit unbeknown to you, the adopter.
Look at the case in Chad recently! With all the corruption and all the lies - including false bandaeges wot make chidlren who were neither orphans or starving look like war refugees from Darfur...who knows if what you were told is true or not. If it is, I wish that child a speedy recovery, but I do not think that one heart-wrenching story is a reason for Guatemala to allow the corruption to continue and create thousand of other heart-wrenching situations. It must stop.
I replied to your comments below:
I am not familiar with the specific details of your particular case, however I will make some general observations.
You left a comment on my blog which was obvious to anyone who read it that you were not "familiar" with my particular case.
First: Even based on your situation as you described it - does the poverty and lack of medical care in Guatemala make the child you adopted "unwanted"? What a cruel comment!
I never said that poverty or lack of medical care would make him unwanted. His mother LEFT HIM at the hospital. He was abandoned! They have been trying to find his family ever since he was placed in the orphanage. And he is definately wanted...my family wants him!
Do you think his mother prefers him taken from her, never to be seen again, just to get him well? Do you not see that as the ultimate sacrifice and one that no mother should be forced to make?
He was not taken from her, she left him there. There was no prospect that her child would ever become adopted. She was cruel!
Would you now part with your child to save his life??? Ask King Solomon who a "real mother" is!
No mother - and no child - should have to suffer such a loss to receive adequate medical care.
I would do ANYTHING to save my child's life! Organizations have already tried to get him here for his surgery to no avail. Maybe you should pick on those people who make it impossible to allow children to leave their country for surgery they can not recieve in their own country.
Secondly: Has his mother been verified through DNA testing?
How could she be...she LEFT HIM IN THE HOSPITAL! Which took two years to get him a Certificate of Abandonment so that he could finally be adopted. By law they had to post information in all the local papers and do a complete search for the birth mother. It cost a lot of money to try and track her down and no one came forward. What are they supposed to do then? Where is he supposed to go?
No shame on you for trying and wanting to help. Shame on the world situation for making his mother make this Sophie's Choice - this Solomonic decision...like Jochobed having to sacrifice her son, Moses, to save his life.
Adoption that severs all his ties is not the only option. You can become his legal guardian and get him the medical care he needs and allow him to return to his homeland and his family. We already tried that and the government denied it. He doesn't have a family. You can do the same for any child in foster care. That is not true. Permanent legal guardianship gives the caregiver all rights to educate and obtain medical treatment for their charge without taking away their name and their right to know - and possibly reconnect with - their family of origins. We are licensed foster family and we were told we could not even get the child's haircut without a court order unless we were given the rights as a parent through adoption. We would also not be able to homeschool which is what we do for our own two children. It is a far more loving option that traditional adoption which gives with one hand and takes with the other, creating huge holes in the hearts of the child and their family that can never be healed.
Any truly altruistic person, such as yourself, should seek out such an alternative option and not juts believe that adoption is th only option. We have exhausted all the other options. Adoption is the last option. Have you ever been to a 3rd world country. There are no foster homes unless there are adoptive parents. The orphanages are closing because there are too many children and no where for them to go. The orphanage Juanito is in now has 22 babies in a home with two parents and occasional rotating missionaries that come to help. They barely have enough money to feed or diaper them. These orphanages do not get any funding from the government. What is going to happen to these children when adoptions close? They will end up on the streets begging. Would you rather have them there or in loving homes?
Finally, i am not personally responsible for closing adoption form Guatemala, or nay place else. i do, however, respect the sovereignty of any nation to regulate the exportation of their chidlren. Worldwide, 80% of chidlren on orphanages have families - many who visit and hope for reunification, as was the case with David Banda adopted by Madonna. Many other children in orphanages have been stolen or kidnapped and sold to the orphanage who them sells them internationally for a higher price, albeit unbeknown to you, the adopter.
I don't know where you get your statistics but being there first hand and talking to orphanage workers and missionaries, these children were abandoned or abused and family could care less about them. I know there are cases of stolen children being sold but that is why there is are the 2 DNA tests. Blackmarket babies even happen in the US should we shut down all adoptions because of that? UNICEF was quoted in saying at a congressional hearing in Guatemala that "The poverty of a country starts in the uterus of a woman." These people are not FOR families staying together, they are pushing their abortion agenda!
Look at the case in Chad recently! With all the corruption and all the lies - including false bandaeges wot make chidlren who were neither orphans or starving look like war refugees from Darfur...who knows if what you were told is true or not. If it is, I wish that child a speedy recovery, but I do not think that one heart-wrenching story is a reason for Guatemala to allow the corruption to continue and create thousand of other heart-wrenching situations. It must stop.
I am assuming that you are not a foster parent, have never been through the training to become one, have never adopted or wanted to adopt a child and probably have never been to an orphanage in a third world country. I agree that children should stay with their parents IF they are responsible enough to care for them (not abuse or neglect them). Even then, I believe they should be allowed to continue a relationship with the birth family. But what if the parent just dumps them off and doesn't want anything to do with them? Where should they go? The government should not be responsible to care for these children in institutions until they reach the age of 18 when there are people out there willing to give them a home, a family. You make adoption sound like the worse possible option for any woman to make. If the woman doesn't want her child she should just kill it, right? Not give the child to a loving home. That would be horrible! I can bet you that if abortion were outlawed in the US there would be plenty of homes for these "unwanted" babies to go to and then American's wouldn't have to look in other countries.
By the way, Jesus was adopted and God adopted us all! Jesus would not have even had a chance in the world today! He would have been aborted!
Jesus was adopted?! Where did you read THAT particular piece of misinformation? Where in the Bible does it say THAT? Mary was an unwed mother, gave birth in a stable. She would not have had a chance to abort...in today's society, she would have been tracked down and hounded by Evangelicals and had her parental rights terminate, and Jesus would have been raised in the foster care system.
I am sure that you are well-meaning and that you truly believe the things that you say, but there are so many holes in your argument that it is a sieve! UNICEF is the one that stated that 80% of "orphans" in foreign countries are not really orphaned, and have families that visit, and intend to reunify. Even the ones that are adopted by foreigners are expected to return to their own country after being educated. I believe that UNICEF has likely visited more foreign institutions than you have.
I am not sure that I believe that all the things that you were told are the absolute truth. I do know that people in the US who will benefit financially from adoption have been known in the past to tell a lie or two (or thousands) if it will benefit their wallets or ease their jobs. I can only imagine that an institution in a country that's economy is founded on the skin trade in infants and children may be slightly more inclined to slant the truth in a favorable direction. Could that possibly be true? Do you think? Perish the thought!! Imagine them lying to someone like you!!!
There is a reason that the borders are closing on international adoption. Children are the future of a nation. We are raping these poorer countries of their future, through the wholesale plunder of their children. We would be better served, and the world too, if we would help to support some of the children in their own countries. Join Save the Children, or buy a puppy, Lady.
“What a cruel comment!”
Indeed it is, Kristen. You are the one who made it, saying: “Families who adopt want children that are "unwanted" by their birth parents.”
Well, there are precious few! Even if a mother was pathologically not able to feel any connection to her child, it would indeed be rare that she did not have some extended family who would care.
If you were to be successful adopting this child, how do you think he or any other adopted person feels hearing a comment like that, Kristen….that children who are adopted are “unwanted”? It is cruel and is untrue! And it was YOUR words, Kristen.
You say your family wants him, and judge his family of origins as having “just dump[ed] them off” – more unkind and judgmental words of yours, instead of feeling compassion for the desperation of such impoverished families. Instead you make the cruelest, most incorrect judgmental assumption of all that they don't “want anything to do with them?” ??
“She was cruel!” you say of his mother’s act of desperation. Why? You said there was no way for her to get the medical he needed there. Later you say “and family could care less about them.” In my humble opinion, Kristen, it is you who is cruel and VERY JUDGEMENTAL! I feel sorry for you and any child you might adopt with these attitudes.
Without DNA proof his abandonment is heresy in a country ripe with corruption. Do not dare to judge when you do not know the validity of the facts, or even if true, the pressures that would be brought to bear on a human being to make them so desperate to get medical treatment for their child they would rather never see him again than have him suffer in need of medical care.
You are confusing U.S. foster care with PLG. You may not be able to do certain things as a foster parent. That is not the same as obtaining permanent legal guardianship under which you have rights to provide medical care.
Are you aware that there are Guatemalan families who WOULD adopt Guatemalan children? Are you aware that are ruining their chances by offering adoption fees of $40k because they cannot compete financially? When international adoptions close it will open the door for more of these children to be raised in their own culture.
My statistics come from 30+ years researching these issues and having been an invited presenter at a conference last month with speakers from UNICEF addressing the specific and current issues in Guatemala. That’s where the 80% figure comes from and also the above mentioned fact about Guatemalans wanting to adopt their own children but being thwarted financially by international competition. Orphanages favor international adoption because the orphanage owners make more $$ that way, not because it is best for the children.
“Blackmarket babies even happen in the US should we shut down all adoptions because of that?” YES! We should shut down all profiteering in adoption and all unlicensed, untrained, unregulated adoption practitioners and agencies and be certain that no child is placed for adoption who has family that could care for him, given the necessary resources to do so.
You also need to make far fewer “assumptions” Kristen as I am an approved foster parent.
“I agree that children should stay with their parents IF they are responsible enough to care for them (not abuse or neglect them).”
The major cause of adoption worldwide, according to UNICEF, is poverty – not abuse, abandonment or neglect. The major cause this child you seek was abandoned was his mother’s poverty and inability – according to you – to obtain the medical care he needed. But you not only disregard what I say, but also everything UNICEF says because you believe UNICEF pushing abortion! How utterly absurd! Just because they don’t agree with you?
“You make adoption sound like the worse possible option for any woman to make.” And now I ask you again – would you be able to give away one of your children – and just walk away? Do you not think that is the most painful thing a mother can do? Do you think such a woman does that heartlessly, or out of painful desperation? You then say: “If the woman doesn't want her child she should just kill it, right?” Kristen – are those really the only two options can imagine? Murder or adoption?
Can you not even conceive of the idea of helping families in crisis to remain together? Giving them the resources they need? You believe: “if abortion were outlawed in the US there would be plenty of homes for these "unwanted" babies to go to and then American's wouldn't have to look in other countries.”
My dear Kristin, there are currently 100,00+ UNWANTED Children in foster care. Not because of access to abortion, Kristen…but because “do-gooders” like you want to “rescue” INFANTS and don’t care about all those kids right here who need families! Instead of worrying about saving the life of the UNBORN – why not save the life of a FAMILY??? A mother AND her child? Do you have to have sole “ownership” to care about a child?
And you talk about Jesus! Jesus spoke to us about caring for widows. Are you aware that widows was defined as any woman without a husband, by any cause. Do you thin Jesus would Judge mothers who are so desperate they leave babies at hospitals to get care? Think again.
Kristen - don't take my word for it. Speak to those who have adopted.
Read: Fleasbiting.blogspot.com
Read the works of adoptive parent David Smolin on international child trafficking and baby laundering: works.bepress.com/david_smolin/
An...also read how many of those adopted internationally feel -- not as "grateful" as you might expect!
www.transracialabductees.org/
Even many who have had "good lives" through adoption - still long to be reunited with their original families...people like Olympian Toby Dawson, who had all the 'advantages" one could through US adoption and wants to work to stop international adoption. Ask HIM why? He has lived it!
Suppose you heard that I drove a car ninety miles an hour down a freeway. Was I right or wrong? I was wrong, of course. After all, I broke the law. If you heard a policeman pulled me over and cited me you'd say, "She deserved it." But supposed you found out later that lying in the back seat of my car was my son, who had a ruptured appendix. Would this additional factor affect your opinion whether my action was right or wrong? Not every adoption is done in the wrong way for the wrong reasons. Am I wrong to want to adopt a child from an orphanage in order to save his life through surgery and then give him a loving home here in the US? I have been made to feel as though I am. I agree that children should be able to stay with their parents and especially the church should help in caring for single mothers, widows and orphans. But there are certain circumstance that arise that need action. I am not content to sit back and watch this child die! I am in a race to save his life!
By the way, Mary was married to Joseph when she gave birth to Jesus. And Joseph was not his birthfather so that would make him his adoptive father. And we are both wrong about Mary, without the Lord's covering, she would have been stoned to death.
Your analogy is perfect. Thank you for sharing it. The desperation of a mother of a sick child will lead her to do things eh may not otherwise do.
Now just apply the same logic to a mother in a desperate condition with her child dying - no car, no freeway...her only hope to save him is not to speed or run a red light and risk a ticket, but to leave him at a hospital.
You want compassion for your imaginary plight? I am asking you to apply the same compassion to others and stop using phrases about "unwanted chidlren" to describe the desperation of others.
I never said that "every" adoption was wrong. Nor is every adoption good or right or the best option for the situation at hand, Kristen.
In fact very few things in life ever fit such dogmatic all or nothing options.
If adoption were the right and bets answer for every child - why don't we just redistribute every child to new parents? Of course that's absurd.
The issue at hand is that Guatemala - not I - has decided to halt adoption from their country. Period. You can argue to me all you want about how much better this particular child would be adopted. Even if I agreed with totally, there is nothing I could do about it.
I am sorry for the pain and anguish it causes you to face the possibility of not being able to complete your desired offer to help this child.
But I abhor your attitudes toward
those faced with making desperate choices....your belief that chidlren placed for adoption are "unwanted"...your ignorance and belief that UNICEF supports abortions...and that exporting children one at a time ...and the support of corrupt baby brokers, does anything to ameliorate poverty of fmailies, their villages or their nations.
Do you know the analogy about giving a starving a fish as opposed to teaching him to fish?
I hope and pray that you use your sympathy for the plight of such children to support programs like that of SOS village -- unless you think they too are pro-abortion.
"By the way, Mary was married to Joseph when she gave birth to Jesus. And Joseph was not his birthfather so that would make him his adoptive father. And we are both wrong about Mary, without the Lord's covering, she would have been stoned to death."
Actually, that does not make him his adoptive father, but makes him his stepfather. Jesus didn't have a falsified birth certificate claiming that he was "as if born to" someone else; his records were never locked away in some vault somewhere so that Mary and Joseph could never touch them. His identity was never hidden from him. He knew who his mother was, and who his father was and his position in the world, and he knew his people and his lineage. He didn't have to change his name, or his identity. Actually, if Mary was married to Joesph at the time of Jesus' birth, then he was considered to be the father, and that would have held legally true into the 20th century, and even now.
I have been stepmother to 2 children, raising them from the time they were small into adulthood. At no time did I attempt to deny that they had another mother, or that she loved them. there is a huge difference between legal parents, step parenting and adoptive parenting. Adoption is the legal death of the natural parent.
You persist in making assumptions about the natural mother of the child you are intending to adopt. I cannot help but recall the mythical crackwhore birthmothers who are the supposed natural mothers of the majority of children being adopted today and in the past, domestically. I am sure that one exists somewhere, but I interact with hundreds of them, and what I find are a bunch of regular women, not different than other women, probably not even you. We are mothers, wives, grandmothers, bank presidents, secretaries, legislators, and waitresses. Students, physicians, attorneys and we come in all shapes and sizes and types. The one commonality we all have is that we lost a child to adoption. We have since been branded as "other" due to this one experience. The women in other countries are the same as women everywhere. They bleed, they cry, they mourn their lost children just as any other woman would. I find your attitude of "otherness" offensive and short-sighted. Instead of compassion, you offer judgment; instead of sympathy, you offer contempt; in place of generosity of spirit you seem to relish your superiority of this woman who you have never met nor really know for sure you have the facts on. Before you decide to take this child into your home and your life, you had better do some soul-searching of yourself, because your contempt cannot be hidden effectively enough from this child you say you want to save for him not to sense it. To suggest that the woman who bore him is trash is to call him trash too.
I think that I would rather be dead than to have to spend the rest of my life living up to some level of loyalty and gratitude to someone who clearly believes they are superior to me and whose contempt for my forfathers is so abundantly clear.se
I think that I would rather be dead than to have to spend the rest of my life living up to some level of loyalty and gratitude to someone who clearly believes they are superior to me and whose contempt for my forefathers is so abundantly clear.
Oh Sandy, that is just so true.
And so Kristen should not adopt this child, because my God adoption would be far worse than death, right?
So what will you do for him Mirah? Are you and all your hostile supporters going to trudge you way around some third world country looking for the poor, mistreated birthmother? Doubtful, since I believe you will sleep just as well in your cozy bed at night if that child lay there dying or not. His birthmother made a decision, a parenting decison for her son, she left him. Happens everyday. So WHAT are YOU going to do about it, except blame it all on adoption? The only reason Kristen adopting this child is so wrong with you, is you believe you can twist it to prove your larger point, that adoption was wrong for YOU. And yet.....YOU made your own choice once as well. Now you must chose to live with it.
Stop wasting your time with your condecending judgement of people who try to give children in need a chance.......how about some effort toward reforming corrupt adoption laws, and making adoption safe for those children who have NO OTHER OPTION?
1) When did I say that Kristen should not adopt the child she wants to adopt???
Please READ what I have said. I never said that! I said she was cruel and judgmental about the situation that led the child's mother to drop him at a hospital after saying it was the only way the mother had to get the child the medical care he needed.
2) How about an effort toward reforming corrupt adoption????
Apparently you have read NOTHING I have written...not either one of my two books...not any one of dozens of articles I've published...not any of my blog posts.
What have YOU done to improve adoption???
PLEASE, please, please stop making huge - idiotic - leaps that the choices are adoption or death!
Further, never ASSUME that adoption was my or anyone's "choice." If it were, perhaps I could just accept it.
maybe it is the fact that mothers like me do not just disappear after people take our kids that bothers you???
Now Angelina Jolie is being made to look like what she is: a kidnapper, not a rescuer, by a mother that hasn't forgotten and was swindled out of her child...just one more...
Sorry my satire has rattled all your cages because it cut too close to the bone.
Ricki Solinger, historian: "there is no such thing as adoption except off the backs of resourceless women."
Do you think such mothers have a "choice" or make a "decision"? An informed decision? A choice made between OPTIONS?
Many people prefer to adopt internationally because the mothers will have a far harder time finding them and speaking up. But Wiley and Baden found that “[w]hether they are upper-middle-class young women with career aspirations and family support, birthmothers in the Marshall Islands whose culture and language do not permit an understanding of permanent voluntary termination of parental rights...or parents with multiple problems that lead to the involuntary termination of parental rights, birthparents experience a loss that is nearly unparalleled in society.” (1993. International and Trans-racial Adoption: A mental health perspective. P. 155.)
I speak for myself and for every woman everywhere who was ever silenced. If my voice offends you....if the changing times find you held in not such a noble light...oh well...
YOU made a CHOICE! You made a choice to take another's child. Live with that, and live with the consequences of your choice. But don't ask me to thank you for taking my child, or anyone else's.
Ungrateful bastard's name says it all. Mothers who have suffered the irresolvable loss of their children are not grateful at all to those who create the market demands that in turn pressure women like me to lose our babies unnecessarily.
Everyone one of us has a CHOICE: we can each chose to be part of the problem or part of the solution. I chose to be part of the solution and work toward family preservation and the end of corruption and exploitation of mothers for the babies.
I made suggestions for Kristen to read...please see those and read and learn from others who have adopted and been adopted. Read what others who have adopted are now doing to turn the tide and stop the destruction of fmailies and the profiteering in adoption.
Adoption may have brought you joy --- but your joy is predicated on another's loss. That is the reality. It may hurt to hear that, but shooting the messenger doesn't change that reality.
So in the case of Juanito, what would you suggest would be the best way to help him?
I did NOT seek out to adopt him or any other child. I told the orphanage I would help them in any way I could to get him the medical care he needed. I was going to care for him in the US (like a guardian) if they could get him a medical visa (or humanitarian parole) to come to the US for surgery. That was DENIED so the only option for them was to find someone to adopt him. They called us and asked if we would be interested in adopting him so we (happily) agreed. Now the governments even want to close that off as an option. We could beg a surgeon to go to Guatemala to perform the surgery but he has TWO very rare heart conditions that only 1 surgeon in the US is a specialist in and he needs to do the surgery from HIS hopital with high-tech equipment. What I am getting from you people is that it would be better to let him die than to adopt him, save his life and then later try to reunite him with his family in Guatemala. Are you so blinded by your cause that you don't see each individual case? Is it only what is best for the mothers?
Kisten, What is your need to CONVINCE ME?
My very first response to you said i didn't know nor did i want to get into or discuss your particular circumstance, since i have no way to verify any of it. I don't know if this child was legally or illegally taken from his mother.
All I ever asked you was not demean him and his mother by using words like "dumped" abandoned...didn't care..."unwanted"....etc.
That is ALL I have asked you, Kristen.
If what you are saying is true - then isn't that enough reason? Why do you have to paint his mother as something evil and heartless? Are you incapable of having compassion for BOTH him AND his mother???
You repeat that the only way he can get the medical help he needs is by being adopted.
Does recognizing his mother's loving, CARING sacrifice take away from your sainthood? I just don't get it.
And then...you want us to be GRATEFUL when you speak of mothers like that???
Dear Ungrateful, I will spend the rest of my life trying to live up to the standard of being a replacement mother to him which I know I will never be able to achieve. You are basically saying that I am cruel to adopt him and save his life because you said, and I quote, "I would rather be dead." I pray Juanito doesn't feel that way. I don't expect praise. I feel incredible blessed to be given the chance to help save his life. There is a chance he will die in surgery but at least I didn't just sit by and not do anything. You people condemn others for what they are doing...Um, what are YOU doing????
Kristen, you have TWO blogs and time to come here and post...
On both of your blogs you quote the bible....but also proselytize cruel behavior like boycotting Trick or Treating for UNICEF. UNICEF provides medical care and other important basic needs for THOUSANDS of chidlren world wide...but you promote VENGEANCE against this charitable organization all because you might not get your wish to help ONE child???
I don't know what you want here...
Kristen,
I am really confused.
On one of your THREE blogs, you just posted TODAY:
"I have begun to wonder if adopting is really a true calling from God."
Hmmmm...ya think? maybe???
Maybe 3 blogs to maintain, and homeschooling her natural children is not enough to occupy Kristen's mind, and time hangs heavy at her house. So, she needs a hobby...let me see, needlepoint, crochet, quilting or adopting throwaway children from third world nations? Oh, definitely the latter...Kristin is a busy woman, after all. She can multi task her way to canonization by adopting one who is sick and REALLY rescue him. Wow, what a great time-management technique!!!
I am getting pretty tired of these stupid women playing tag team dissing! PUHLEEEZZZ, what are you doing to fix the problems with adoption???? Do they mean the problems that they have, that the babies are too hard to get domestically, so they have to go foreign? Something tells me that their idea of the "problems with adoption" that they are whining about are not the same ones that Origins-USA is concerned with. What do you think?
Thank you for opening my eyes to some issues regarding adoption I was unaware of before. I do see some of your points and on the other's we just have to agree to disagree. You are right about one thing for sure, I do not have time nor do I wish to continue this exchange of comments any longer. God bless you all. I hope you all find peace in your hearts and God save the children.
Bless you, too Kristen. I do hope we opened your eyes to the fact that adoption always begins with a tragedy and by definition that mans it was not wanted or chosen.
I hope that you can begin to soften your heart to people less fortunate than yourself and to those like UNICEF working to help those less fortunate. I truly believe that THAT is the message Jesus had in mind for all of us, Kristen. He taught love and COMPASSION, Kristen...not judgment and mean-spiritedness...even under the guide of being a "do-gooder."
I wish you and Juanito and all of his family the very best.
Oh, come on now, exploiting poor women in other countries is perfectly okay.
As long as you're not there to see their pain, it never happened!
Exploiting poor, single, and/or young mothers in our country is okay, too. Because they probably deserve it.
Yeah, but if you're rich and famous like Angelina Jolie you better watch out cause the press will prove you a liar and a baby thief! And your precious daughter will grow up knowing she wasn't a rescued orphan, but a child stolen from a loving caring family who sought help.
Oh...yeah...they were poor and Angelina rich, so that makes it all right in the end.
Too bad some ungrateful adoptees don't feel that way...nor their mothers.
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