FINAL VICTORY

Albert Camus (November 7, 1913 – January 4, 1960) was an Algerian-born French author, philosopher, and journalist who won the Nobel prize in 1957. He is often associated with existentialism, but Camus refused this label. On the other hand, as he wrote in his essay The Rebel, his whole life was devoted to opposing the philosophy of nihilism.

Camus preferred preferred persons over ideas, and thus preferred to be known as a man and a thinker, rather than as a member of a school or ideology.

MaryAnne Cohen who studied his works in college, shared the following quote from Camus' "The Plague" after reading my post entitled "Spitting int he Wind."

MaryAnne says: " I don't collect quotes but have always loved this one. It is a bit convoluted, I suspect because translated from the French, but the ideas come through."

"None the less, he knew the tale he had to tell could not be one of
final victory. It could only be the record of what had had to be done,
and what assuredly would have to be done again in the never ending fight
against terror and its relentless onslaughts, despite their personal
afflictions, by all who, while unable to be saints but refusing to bow
down to pestilences, strive their utmost to be healers."
Albert Camus

Final victory! Nothing ambiguous about that. In a never-ending fight, victory is what has to be done and done again and again...refusing to bow down.

I have not read "The Plague" but reading about it, it seems Camus' concepts of the reality of impending death and suffering, are very comparable to Buddhist beleifs.

Thank you MaryAnne for this final word on dealing with the difficult struggles in our lives, that at times seem impossible. Resigning to the impossibility can so easily makes it so.

A Woman Worth Listening To...

With grace and poise comparable only to Jackie Kennedy...Michelle Obama spoke of a speech Barack made years ago in Chicago:

"He talked about 'The world as it is' and 'The world as it should be.' And he said that all too often, we accept the distance between the two, and settle for the world as it is — even when it doesn't reflect our values and aspirations. But he reminded us that we know what our world should look like. We know what fairness and justice and opportunity look like. And he urged us to believe in ourselves — to find the strength within ourselves to strive for the world as it should be."

Michelle told us to: Listen to our hopes instead of our fears... Stop doubting, start dreaming, etc.

My hopes and dreams are of a world in which every child is a wanted child and every mother and father have all they need to provide for the health and safety of their children.

I dream of a world in which everyone knows their genetic heritage and to deny anyone that is a criminal offense because it violates their human rights.

I dream of a world where no human being needs to sell or rent any part of their reproduction genetic material for money.
I dream of a world without exploitation and coercion; with enough food and resources to go around; and all living in peace, love and harmony. A world without hate and violence.

Could the Obamas be the Kennedy's BACK IN BLACK...bringing back hope?

Spitting in the Wind?

One should not mistake comfort in the familiarity of the status quo with its being the most beneficial condition. Richard Garlikov

I have written for some years now about - for me - the healing catharsis of activism.

I have long "enjoyed" the comfort of knowing I am not alone in my feelings of loss and grief in regards to my adoption loss. But I needed more.

I found my activist writing and speaking out against the injustices of unwarranted and unnecessary family separations - as well as the profiteering from child redistribution - gratifying in providing a necessary channel for my anger at it all.

Having twice lost my eldest daughter, having no family of origins or significant life partner for support, and with a family tree littered with suicide and serious depression...it is far too easy for me to fall prey to a like demise. My life is a daily struggle not to yield to feelings of despair at the dead end of the relationship with my daughter, and the guilt that I did not prevent it. I struggle not to fall victim to these triggers of genetic dispositions.

I cannot undo the past, but I do have options regarding my present and the future.

And so I write...and I fight as best I can against "the system."

A recent off-hand comment by a colleague set off a downhill chain of events. Someone used the phrase "spitting in the wind" regarding an attempt at activism.

While I have long scoffed at naysayers...my initial reaction was anger. (I find my underlying anger at adoption loss makes me quick to anger.) But this hit somewhere in my gut and I have had difficulty shaking it.

I began living in my head more than living in real time and reality and examining not merely the one thing that the remark was aimed at, but all of activism...and thus my entire adult life!

Has my life been just a matter of "spitting in the wind"? Is all adoption activism a waste of time because it is futile and will never change anything? I recognized why many are opposed to becoming involved in activism - because of this very feeling of futility it creates.

After all, so few states have opened their records in the past 40 years - since my own personal connection to adoption occurred. Despite all efforts to stop immoral so-called "safe haven" child dumping grounds...the last state, Nebraska, actually expanded the definition, allowing the dumping of chidlren as old as 18!

Why bother?

As I questioned what I/we do...I was drawn to an image in my head of Sisyphus doomed to pushing a boulder uphill. Wasteless, pointless use of time and energy was the worst punishment the gods could conceive of for this mortal who had tricked them.

In the realm of the dead, Sisyphus is forced to roll a block of stone against a steep hill, which tumbles back down when he reaches the top. Then the whole process starts again, lasting all eternity.

It was intended to be the most horrific punishment not only because it was difficult labor, but because it was frustratingly futile, unrewarding, repetitive labor. The toil of Sisyphus is a metaphor for all difficult and repetitive labor that is frustrating and unrewarding.

Frustrating and unrewarding indeed describes my life's work in adoption. But because it feels that way doing it...does that make it so?

The 1957 Nobel laureate for literature Albert Camus wrote in a brief essay "The Myth of Sisyphus" (1940) that Sisyphus' fate and his endless toil is not futile.

Camus says: "If the descent [i.e., Sisyphus' returning to the bottom of the mountain to start pushing the rock upward all over again] is sometimes performed in sorrow, it can also take place in joy." And "The struggle itself toward the heights is enough to fill a man's heart. One must imagine Sisyphus happy."

I find this but incompressible and also of little value. Although I take occasional pride in some things I or others have done, I do not do what I do for the pleasure of doing it. If there is no valid result - why do it? Why spit in the wind?

While contemplating this, I found the writings of a philosophical counselor named Richard Garlikov. I found value in his take on Sisyphus. I hope that you do as well:

Making someone happy or providing solace for someone in despair, even if it is only temporary is still a worthwhile act…. Even if all we do in the lifetime of civilization collapses into a universal blackhole or relative pinpoint of incredibly dense mass, our accomplishments are what they were, even if they do not remain in the memory of an omniscient God but dissolve entirely into the metaphysics of empty time. That something happened and meant anything at all is important, regardless of how long it lasts….

… if we once again look at what is in some sense metaphysically important, it is important in life that we try to do what is right, not just that we succeed. We cannot control our destiny, but we can control our deserts, and we do that by always trying to do what is right and what is best. Attempts may be futile, but making the attempt is never futile, for it determines and simultaneously rewards our character….

… Not all work is noble. What is noble is to be striving toward the best we can accomplish, not toward just any accomplishment for its own sake….

In another essay, Garlikov who provides analysis and resolution of conflicts and disputes, using a philosophical approach, states:

I would argue that happiness also stems from the pursuit of excellence or of desirable (not just desired) ends, even when the pursuit fails to achieve whatever is sought. Psychologically, there is something about the pursuit of the good that gets one's focus off just one's "self", particularly one's more petty or mundane concerns, and onto an ideal "outside" one's self that is, in some sense, more universal and more important, more satisfying and more uplifting --something transcendent.

(Most of Garlikov's writings are offered free of charge on his website.)

And who knows? Since unlike Sisyphus we are neither mythological or metaphorical figures nor are we dead yet...nor doomed by any God...

Perhaps than there is the possibility that we might just reach the summit someday!

This illustration shows a clear distinction between the lone work of Sisyphus and what is possible when we join together! None of us are as powerful as all of us!

The reason the spitting comment had such an impact was because it had not come from an "outsider" but from one with whom I worked shoulder to shoulder, pushing that boulder.

I, however, chose to see my life (and that of the life of adoption activism) not as futile, but as a success according to the following two definitions:

Success is to be measured not so much by the position that one has reached in life as by the obstacles which he has overcome. Booker T. Washington

To laugh often and much;
To win the respect of intelligent people
and the affection of children;
To earn the appreciation of honest critics
and endure the betrayal of false friends;
To appreciate beauty;
To find the best in others;
To leave the world a bit better, whether by
a healthy child, a garden patch
or a redeemed social condition;
To know even one life has breathed
easier because you have lived;
This is to have succeeded.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

I like to believe that the work I and other adoption activists are doing will leave the world a better place , even if we do not see results -"the redeemed social condition" - in our lifetime.

I thus offer my spittle to the wind...and to the earth and the sea...

I offer my spittle and my sweat, my tears, my words and voice...because it is all I have to give. If I were a coke-eyed optimist I might even imagine that a drop of my spit watering a seed that might grow into a beautiful flower or mighty oak someday.

Who knows? Regardless, I give it all. How it is received is out of my control and I will not cease because of fear it will not be received well. If we were to act only when assured our actions were to be acceptable, we'd never love or care for children or the informed.

Doing what it is in your heart and soul to do are its own reward. Or as Garlikov points out:

Aristotle had it close to correct when he said that happiness was not in the mere having of possessions nor of reputation or power, though those were useful, but that it is "an activity of the soul in conformity with excellence.

This -- and the support of others who are like-minded -- are two very critical factors that Sisyphus was denied (making his life a living hell) but available for us to freely chose!

THIS IS NOT A HOAX!

This is the kind of thing you read and then look again to see if it's April fools day or of this is a spoof newspaper...like The Onion. Gives new meaning to Garbage Pail Kids.

Neb. 'safe-haven' law allows abandonment of teens

By JEAN ORTIZ – 19 hours ago

OMAHA, Neb. (AP) — Nebraska's new "safe-haven" law allowing parents to abandon unwanted children at hospitals with no questions asked is unique in a significant way: It goes beyond babies and potentially permits the abandonment of anyone under 19.

While lawmakers may not have intended it, the month-old law raises the possibility that frustrated parents could drop off misbehaving teens or even severely disabled older children with impunity.

"Whether the kid is disabled or unruly or just being a hormonal teenager, the state is saying: 'Hey, we have a really easy option for you,'" said Adam Pertman, executive director of a New York adoption institute and a frequent critic of safe-haven laws.

Nebraska's approach is surprising because it is the last state in the nation to adopt a safe-haven law.

But instead of following the lead of other states, which focus on the abandonment of newborns, lawmakers here wanted to extend the protection to all minors. And in Nebraska, that goes all the way up to age 19.

"All children deserve our protection," said Sen. Tom White, who helped broaden the measure. "If we save one child from being abused, it's well, well worth it."

So, it was no accident! The Dude is serious!

White said it doesn't matter if that child is an infant or three years old or in the care of a parent or baby sitter. As for what constitutes a minor, he refers to common law, which interprets it to be anyone under age 14.

State Sen. Arnie Stuthman, who introduced the original bill dealing only with infants, agreed to the compromise after the bill became stalled in debate.

"The main interest I have is that it gives the mother or a parent another option of what to do with a child before they do something drastic," he said.

But it also allows babysitters to do the same with someone else's child?!?

The measure, which took effect July 18, does not absolve people of possible criminal charges — for example, if a child had been beaten.

How do they know - when the abandonment is anonymous?

And since the law does not specify, it technically allows anyone, not just a parent, to legally surrender custody. Most other states narrowly define the role of the person surrendering the child.

AS IF!

Some hospitals have fielded questions from the public about the law, but no children have been dropped off.

"I hope there never is one," Stuthman said.

Pertman, who directs the New York-based Evan B. Donaldson Adoption Institute, said his research going back several years shows safe-haven laws are not accomplishing what they intended. Women who are distressed enough to want to abandon their children are not the ones reading billboards or getting the message about these laws, he said.

Pertman finds Nebraska's law particularly alarming because it is not focused on infants and parents.

Casting such a wide net "circumvents every rational practice in child welfare that I'm aware of," he said. "That's as nicely as I can put it."

California, for example, allows parents to legally abandon a child at a hospital or other designated safe zones within 72 hours of birth.

The brevity of the law could trigger litigation over its meaning, said Jonathan Turley, a George Washington University law professor.

"This law is obviously written in almost skeletal form," he said. "Drafters will sometimes try to say as little as possible so they don't create ambiguity, but drafters here succeeded in writing the law in such a limited fashion that the entire provision is ambiguous."

Nebraska lawmakers acknowledge the courts will have to sort out the details, and they have said they are open to revisiting the legislation if necessary.

The Nebraska Hospital Association has been working to help its 85 member hospitals statewide establish procedures for dealing with abandonment cases.

Sen. Ernie Chambers, who voted against the law, said he would prefer to address the reasons that parents abandon their children rather than offer them safe haven.

"I don't think such laws are wise," he said.

Kathy Bigsby Moore, executive director of the child advocacy group Voices for Children in Nebraska, said she also worries how the law might affect adoption rates.

"The sad thing is we have plenty of other mechanisms for people to use," she said. "I'm not sure the safe-haven law is really going to help in a majority of cases."

Thank you Adam for being the lone beacon of reason against this INSANITY! We have truly become a totally DISPOSABLE culture.

Although, of course, foster care always existed for unwanted kid sof any age.

In the 80's, while parenting, I was a certified foster parent and requested teens cause I identified with and could reach troubled teens. One of the teens they sent me was a throw-away whose adoptive parents had divorced and "mom" "couldn't handle" his getting in trouble in school. She used to throw it up in his face all the time that eh should find his "real" parents. But, then, when he came to live with me and I tried to help him search - she refused to help us.

WAKE UP!! CHILDREN ARE BEING STOLEN & KIDNAPPED WORLDWIDE!!!

When does it end?


How many more will it take???





How long will we continue to turn a blind eye to the worldwide MARKETING and TRAFFIKING in human life?



How much longer will we IGNORE The exploitation of the poor and the commodification of their chidlren to meet a DEMAND!??

All the while singing the praises of adoption as a 'win-win" rescue of homeless chidlren...even encouraging adoption with tax benefits?!

How much longer will we play this pretense?!
How much longer will we allow those who PROFIT in the redistribution of children and the DESTRUCTION of FAMILIES to continue?!

This is NOT just a problem of third world countries!!!

Gladney Center of Fort Worth is PROUD of its MARKETING CAMPAIGN!

Gladney Center for Adoption Announces New Marketing Campaign and Updated Website

Last update: 11:51 a.m. EDT Aug. 21, 2008

FORT WORTH, Texas, Aug 21, 2008 /PRNewswire via COMTEX/ -- FORT WORTH, Texas, Aug. 21 /PRNewswire-USNewswire/ -- The Gladney Center for Adoption has recently unveiled a new marketing campaign as well re-launched Gladney's updated website.

The Birth Parent and Adoptive Parent Campaigns have a new look with the development of new marketing creative materials. Gladney's new Birth Parent campaign, "Encouraging Words," brings a message of hope to those experiencing unplanned pregnancies. Hope is hidden in the everyday environment and with Gladney; a birth mother can find hope.

The Adoptive Parent campaign is designed to create a message of hope, love and anticipation that adoptive parents feel as they enter into the adoption process. The materials with a toy chest image, creating a message of love, hope and anticipation that adoptive parents feel as they enter into the adoption process. The toy chest and toys are used as the key visual element and the toys represent each country and program. The use of the toys demonstrates Gladney's connection to each country with which we work and underscores Gladney's expertise in adoption.

The updated website includes Birth Mother video testimonies as well as Adoptive Parent and Adoptee testimonies. The Birth Mother website has a different look and feel than the adoptive parent site. More media stories are included as well as information about Gladney's vast humanitarian aid efforts. The site is designed to be easy to use.

The Gladney Center for Adoption is one of the oldest and largest maternity homes and adoption agencies in the United States, placing more than 27,000 children in permanent homes and assisting more than 36,000 birth mothers. In addition to placing children born in the United States, Gladney's international program is committed to finding permanent homes for children in other countries. Adoption opportunities are available in several countries around the world including Eastern European, Asian and Latin American countries. A genuine commitment to client and social service makes Gladney an exceptional adoption agency and a national leader in adoption.

For more information about Gladney's adoption programs and humanitarian aid efforts please log onto www.gladney.org.

Kids 'kidnapped for Aussie adoption'

August 22, 2008

POOR Indian children are being kidnapped and adopted out to Australian families through state government agencies, authorities say.

More than a dozen “pretty” children kidnapped in Indian slums have ended up being adopted in Australia, TIME Magazine reported.

According to the magazine, at least 120 children were kidnapped from slums in southern India and were sold to a Chennai-based adoption agency Malaysian Social Services (MSS) for as little as $280, before being sent overseas.

Police in India told the magazine that after MSS bought the children, new identities were created and the children sent overseas.

In an interview with the magazine, an Indian mother named Fatima said her two-year-old daughter Zabeen was plucked off the street, thrown into a motorised rickshaw then disappeared.

"I thought someone had taken her for her kidney,” Fatima said.

Seven years after Zabeen vanished, it was discovered that she had been processed by MSS and police in India now say she was adopted by a family in Queensland.

Indian police believe at least 13 kidnapped children were adopted by Australian families.

Indian authorities are now hoping to question officials from the Queensland Families Department.

Queensland Child Safety Minister Margaret Keech told the magazine that the allegations were “very concerning”.

“(Officials) will work very closely with federal and state agencies to investigate these claims,” Ms Keech said.

Police also hope to interview people who may have adopted kidnapped children.

And...we can all be PROUD to know that while we tsk tsk and go about our daily lives...debating whether its "worth it" (financially and/or emotionally) to support adoption activism programs...The National Council for Adoption is counting their donations and adding up the BUCKS their supporters have kicked in to keep up the status quo and the flow of babies:

We met our goal!! We’re in the black!!! On the last day of our fiscal year, the National Council For Adoption raised all the funds we needed to meet our budget. And it’s all because of you!! We sent out the call for help 7 days before our year end and you answered with overwhelming generosity and $37,000. Your commitment to champion the cause of adoption is the reason we are able to begin this new fiscal year on strong financial footing. Words cannot express our gratitude to you for reaching deep into your pockets and standing alongside us in this great cause. We have so much work to do but we are in a great position to continue that work so that all children can have a loving, permanent family of their own. Thank you!! Thomas C. Atwood President and CEO

You can contact NCFA by mail, phone, fax, and e-mail: National Council For Adoption 225 N. Washington Street Alexandria, VA 22314 703-299-6633 (Phone) 703-299-6004 (fax) ncfa@adoptioncouncil.org

*****

"All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing." (Edmund Burke)

*****

When, if ever, will we who care about morality, ethics in adoption, child welfare....put our money where are mouths are and being a real campaign to turn this world right side up again?

Or will we simply give up and not even try? Not care what is done to other mothers and their children? Not make any attempt to spare one other human the pain and loss we have suffered?

Tribute to an UNSUNG HERO: Irena Sendler

Irena Sendler died May 12, 2008 at the age of 98. Her passing didn't make the major news networks as it should have.

Irena Sendler is on a plane with Oskar Schindler and Eli Weisel.

During WWII, Irena, got permission to work in the Warsaw Ghetto, as a Plumbing/Sewer specialist. She had an ulterior motive...

Irena, a non-Jewish social worker, KNEW what the Nazi's plans were for the Jews, (being German).

Irena smuggled infants out in the bottom of her tool box she carried, and she also carried in the back of her truck a Burlap sack, (for larger kids). She also had a dog in the back that she trained to bark when the Nazi soldiers let her in and out of the ghetto. The soldiers, of course, wanted nothing to do with the dog, and the barking covered the kids/infants noises.

During her time and course of doing this, she smuggled out and saved the lives of 2500 kids/infants.

She was caught, and the Nazi's broke both her legs and arms and beat her severely.
Irena kept a record of the names of all the kids she smuggled out and kept them in a glass jar, buried under a tree in her back yard.

After the war, she tried to locate any parents that may have survived it, and reunited the family.
Most, of course, had been gassed. Those, she helped were placed into foster family homes or adopted.

AWARDS RECEIVED:

In 1965, Sendler was recognized by Yad Vashem as a Righteous Among the Nations, which was confirmed in 1983 by the Israeli Supreme Court. She also was awarded the Commanders Cross by the Israeli Institute.

In 2003, Pope John Paul II sent a personal letter to Sendler, praising her wartime efforts.

On 10 October 2003, Irena Sendler received the Order of the White Eagle, Poland's highest civilian decoration. She was also awarded the Jan Karski Award "For Courage and Heart," given by the American Center of Polish Culture in Washington, D.C..

On 14 March 2007 Sendler was honored by Poland's Senate. Polish President Lech Kaczyński stated that she "can justly be nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize" (though nominations are supposed to be kept secret). At age 97, she was unable to leave her nursing home to receive the honor, but she sent a statement through Elżbieta Ficowska, whom Sendler had saved as an infant.

Sendler was the last survivor of the Children's Section of the Żegota Council for Assistance to the Jews, which she had headed from January 1943 until the end of World War II.

Additionally, The LIFE IN A JAR PROJECT has been set up in her honor to continue to fund projects that heal the world.

One sad note that needs to also be healed. Irena was nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize....She was competing against Al Gore.
She LOST.

It's not too late to have her nominated again and have this omission repaired. She is a war hero and an icon of FAMILY PRESERVATION. I proudly present Irena Sendler with a posthumous Family Preservationist Award of the year 2008.

Too Hysterical to not pass on...

The Onion, notorious online satirical "news source," has published an article that anyone who uses the Internet can relate to.

It is especially apropos in the wake of discussions of emotional bullies and people who spend so much (all?) of their time and energy in negativity because they have absolutely nothing positive to contribute! Like little kids who can't get any positive attention, they chose negative attention and throw temper tantrums!

It's a classic must read and so very timely. (Just replace the word "gays" with crack whores.) Enjoy:

Local Idiot To Post Comment On Internet

"We are blessed to be living in an age when we have a global communications network in which idiots, assholes, and total and complete wastes of fucking human life alike can come together to give instant feedback in an unfettered and unmonitored online environment," Mylenek said. "What better way to take advantage of this incredible technology than to log onto the Internet and insult a complete stranger?"

And the winner of this rhetorical question are those among us who have actually come up with an ironic way to top that: Insult those who share your very struggle!