Out-of-Wedlock "Catastrophe"

"1.72 million out-of-wedlock births amount to an overwhelming catastrophe for taxpayers and society," says Robert Rector writing for the National Review
sounding an alarm because "the overwhelming majority of the unwed mothers were young adults with low education levels, precisely the kind of individuals who have the greatest difficulty going it alone in our society" and "the general collapse of marriage, especially among the poor, lie at the heart of the mushrooming welfare state."
Of course the heart of the conservative argument: "taxpayers will spend over $300 billion providing means-tested welfare aid to single parents."

Ya gotta just love conservatives priorities when it comes to worrying about monetary issues and peoples lives.

While concerned over this "catastrophe with no dollar amount attached to the $1.72 million sinfully out-of-wedlock births or the "mushrooming welfare state" they totally ignore some very real numbers of great concern.

ExxonMobil had such a profitable year in 2009, it contributed $15 billion to the world's tax coffers. Yet the mega corporation paid not one red cent to U.SA. IRS! Exxon limits the tax bite with 20 wholly owned subsidiaries domiciled in the Bahamas, Bermuda and the Cayman Islands that (legally) shelter the cash flow from operations in the likes of Angola, Azerbaijan and Abu Dhabi, leaving the U.S. with not one penny of the $15 billion dollars they paid in taxes last year.

This one example of CORPORATE WELFARE - of the U.SA. allowing corporations to steal them blindly is of no concern top the fat cats who likely own shares in Exxon, my even sit on the board and applaud this corruption as good for the stock holders - good business practice - being upstanding capitalists...while tar and fathering families struggling with meager payments that wouldn't but these people toilet paper.

The entire federal budget for Health and Human Services is 30% while the current military takes 36% and another 18% goes to past military (veterans) expenses. Combined that's more than HALF of every dollar the U.S. spends. But it's welfar mothers who are the bane of the nations, causing financial ruination and a national debt we will never get out from under.

An article I came across recently by Mark Dombeck, Ph.D., Director of Mental Help Net attempts to get to the root of the dufference in the moral mentality that guides conservatives versus liberals becuase value systems are a matter of moral beliefs. Dombeck says the psychologically characterized differences "between hardcore liberals and hardcore conservatives is due to Jonathan Haidt, an Associate Professor of Psychology at the University of Virginia," "What Makes People Vote Republican", which outlines political positions based on five independent moral dimensions:

1. Harm/Care, which is the universal desire to minimize human suffering.
   
   
2. Fairness/Reciprocity, which is more or less about a desire to see arguments and disputes handled fairly.
   
   
3. Ingroup/Loyalty, which describes the desire to protect group membership (societal) boundaries.
   
   
4. Authority/Respect, which concerns the desire to organize society into a hierarchy of social superiors and subordinates, with subordinates showing respect for the superior's superior position.
   
   
5. Purity/Sanctity, which concerns the desire to maintain group membership in a pristine, pure, clean or proper state, and correspondingly, to reject from the group that which is dirty, impure, unclean and improper.

According to Haidt, the first two moral dimensions (harm/care, and fairness/reciprocity) are universal, and heavily used by everyone in deciding what things are moral and what are not. However, the later three dimensions (ingroup/loyalty, authority/respect, and purity/sanctity) are far more important to conservative people than they are to liberal people.

While both groups think that suffering should be prevented and that members of a society or group should treat each other according to principles of fairness and respect, conservatives place much more emphasis on maintaining ingroup/outgroup boundaries than do liberals; they demand and expect that members within the groups will be arranged into hierarchies where some are in better positions (with higher status, more wealth, etc.) than others, and that all members within the society conform to their assigned positions within society without complaint.

Reading between the lines, Haidt is suggesting that the real difference between liberals and conservatives is that the two groups have very different understandings of what it means to be a society.

Conservatives think of society as a thing which is more important than the sum of its parts, and understand that it is the duty (and I don't use that word lightly) of all the individual parts of society to play out their assigned role, even if that role is not in the best interests of some of the parts. In other words, it is the duty of the individual to subordinate their own needs to the needs of the larger society. To do otherwise is to be selfish.

Liberals think of society as something that emerges from the parts, and which is never more healthy as a whole than the most downtrodden of those parts. Liberals believe the dictum that "all men are created equal" and this makes them be less enthralled with the idea of a rigid hierarchical organization for society. If all men are created equal, then the least advantaged members of society should have a realistic opportunity to climb upwards in society, and that it is society's duty (and I don't use that word lightly) to provide opportunities for the more disadvantaged members of society to make that climb possible. By helping the more disadvantaged members of society to get a leg up, liberals think that they will help society as a whole become better. This idea is expressed beautifully in the phrase, "A rising tide lifts up all boats".

Conservatives often think that liberals would like lazy people to get a free ride, but this is not the case. What liberals want is for motivated people to be able to climb upwards based on their merit and effort and not to be held down due to circumstances beyond their control, occurring on account of an accident of their birth. If all men are created equal, then discrimination or prejudice is morally unacceptable. More here.

This now begins to get philosophical and reminiscent of an October post entitled Morality, Justice, Ethics and Adoption which I invite you to read or re-read.

More importantly, as some pro-lifers are finding the ability to step back and take middle ground approach to REDUCING abortions instead of totally outlawing them, is there a way to get these hawks to back down and stop scapegoating single moms as the financial and moral runation of the nation?

How can people bemoan the breakdown of the family and the disappearing fathers as the root cause of the problem and support legal abandonment at any convenient baby drop off site and "putative: father registries which deny fathers' right? See: 'Baby Emma' case puts state adoption laws between father, child.

Family values means valuing ALL families, not just affluent ones! And I have to say while I try to understand a mindset that purports to be concerned about the welfare of the "whole", it feels like greed to me, like the real concern is their own pocketbooks and nothing else. And that, in my book of values is immoral.

Why is it that nations like Sweden, Denmark, Norway, Australia...can provide their citizens with non discriminatory health care and other services and continue to flourish. let's see, could it be that they are spending billions on a military budget instead and re minding their on business and taking care of their own?

If we are to believe the thesis that conservatives morality is based on that is best for the "whole" does that mean they re concerned for the whole of the u.,S. or the whole of the world and U.S. ownership and "way of life" prevailing throughout? Clearly for those at the top of the financial ladder it is the latter; world dominance in a global economy.

Artyem Savilliev Could be Returned to the U.S.

The New York Times is reporting that 7-year-old Artyem who was returned to Russia by Torry Hansen who had adopted him six months prior became an American citizen "the day he reached American soil last September" according to Tennessee adoption attorneys.

“This child is a U.S. citizen,” said Chuck Johnson, acting chief executive of the National Council for Adoption, which is working with the State Department to place the boy if he returns. “The parental rights are still in effect.”

The Times reports:

"A tug-of-war over the boy’s nationality has begun. As prosecutors in Tennessee consider whether the adoptive mother, Torry Ann Hansen, and her mother, Nancy Hansen, will be charged with abandonment or neglect — and as new details emerged about their interactions with social workers — the international dispute over what will happen to the boy they named Justin has intensified." Russian officials say he is not an American but the "disagreed over whether the boy should remain in Moscow, be adopted in Russia or be sent back to the orphanage in Russia’s Far East."

The Sheriff investigating locally in Tenn believes the boy may have dualk citizenship.

Charles Crawford, the district attorney for Shelbyville, said prosecuting the family would be difficult. “Making it a child abuse case without the child being available to testify is a very tall order,” he said. However, infants never testify in child abandonment cases.

If he had been eight years old, as originally reported it is OK to for him to be put on a plane alone but not at seven. he was a week prior to his eight birthday. Hansen's rush may be her undoing as that may involve a crime, even if the citizenship technicality keeps he from being charged with abandonment. The driver, Arthur Lukyanov, told Russian television he had learned only at the last moment that he was supposed to pick up the boy.

United Way of Bedford County, the Tenn. Dept of Children's Services and a the adoption agency all said Hansen had never contacted them. And the agency that conducted home visits before and after Justin’s adoption, Adoption Assistance, in Smyrna, Tenn, released a statement Monday saying the Hansens had not told its social worker about the severity of their concerns. In January, the statement said, a social worker found that “the child appeared to be adjusting to his new home and family and his mother was enthusiastic about his accomplishments.” This, just three months prior to making such a rash decsion!

Despite Hansen's insistent that she was lied to, is it she that's lying?

Compassion for Hansen is being expressed by others who have adopted from Russia and dealt with the problems commonly associated with these institutionalized children who also often suffer the effects of FAS.

The executive director of the Ogden based adoption agency said Russian orphanages are not good and the children come with baggage.

"Russia has a huge incidence of fetal alcohol syndrome in their children and so Russia would be considered more of a high risk country,” said Kathleen Kaiser. She said those orphanages are poorly run and are anxious to get rid of their children.

While none condone how she handled it, they are empathetic to what she suffered. And support for not charging her criminally comes from those "in the pipeline" who fear this case will halt their adoptions!

The Hansens - Torry and her mother Nancy - have lawyered up and are now refusing any further statements unless they are charged with a crime.

A Utah mother understands the hardship of adopting a Russian child.

Cindy Lorraine-Paske said she turned her teen back to the state after years of struggles with the Russian born boy.

“He would steal, he would lie, sneak, play with fire, get involved with fire, get involved with knives, smoke, stealing alcohol,” said Lorraine-Paske.

She adopted Jason when he was nine years old. The boy was in the state’s foster program having been rejected by another family in Utah.

Crisis Pregnancy Centers

Change.org is sending out alarms that in part state:

"...a new investigative video reveals a disturbing trend of fake family planning clinics around the country, called Crisis Pregnancy Centers, which advertise themselves as providing "abortion services" only to give false medical information to women in order to pressure them not to have an abortion.

This deception was initially documented in a Congressional report which found that 87 percent of the 3,500 Crisis Pregnancy Centers nationwide misinform women about birth control and reproductive rights."

Austin, Texas voted into law a measure that will require Crisis Pregnancy Centers to post signs stating that they do not provide information on abortion or comprehensive birth control. And other cities are passing similar truth-in-advertising measures.

How can we team up with the progressives who are concerned about denying women their right to terminate a pregnancy, with their right to become mothers and raise their children instead of being pushed into and unwanted adoption loss.

The following reevaluation is very telling:

There is also documentation of the use of an alarming tactic of telling pregnant women considering an abortion that they're not actually pregnant, hoping that by the time these women realize they are, it will be too late for them to access an abortion.

The Intergenerational Pain of Adoption Loss

The Irish Times - Monday, April 12, 2010

The pain experienced by each of us as we are torn apart from our children by the pressures of adoption are not our alone. That pain has a ripple effect and effects every relationship and every person we are in relationship with...the loss of our child is at once the loss of our parents' grandchild, the father's child and his parents' grandchild. It is a loss of a sibling to any previous or subsequent children we might have.

A loss of a cousin, an aunt or uncle...it is a permanent severed branch of our family tree and a loss of our grandchildren from that branch and all future descendants...

This simple letter testifies to the secondary effect of our loss on those we love:

Giving up a child for adoption

Madam, – I recently found out that I have a sister who my mother gave up for adoption in the early 1970s in Ireland. The story is heartbreaking, but, overall this has been a very positive experience for me.

Having researched the subject of adoption in Ireland during the past decades, I felt a strong need to raise awareness and ultimately to remember each and every mother who entered a mother and baby home throughout the 1950s, 1960s and 1970s in Ireland.

It is devastating to learn of the number of women who, due to their unmarried status, had no choice other than to endure the unpleasant environment of these homes for the duration of their pregnancy, give birth to their child (for adoption) and then return to society and carry on as if nothing had happened without anyone giving a thought for their emotional well being.

This letter is dedicated to my mother, as well as the thousands of other women who, due to their circumstances, very sadly had to go into mother and baby homes to have their babies alone and in secret. The majority of these women still live every day with the burden, the painful memories and the secret of having given up their child many years ago.

Often they have not been reunited with their child, and can only wonder about their well-being and hope that they have led or are leading a prosperous life. Please take a moment to remember these incredibly brave women and their children. – Yours, etc,

CJ O’REILLY, Garratt Lane, London, England.

I am grateful to have come across this letter just days before presenting at ACONE on the topic of irresolvable and universal grief suffered by mothers who lose our children to adoption....lest my presentation would have failed to explore this important aspect of adoption loss...how it effects so many...

Even Condon and Rickerby who have documented a laundry list of effects of adoption loss does not consider the widespread affects to those other than the mother.

Roelie Post: A Powerful Ally for Family Preservation

I am pleased and proud to share this excellent documentary video which details the work of someone I am exceedingly proud to know as colleague and counterpart in the fight against child trafficking and adoption profiteering.

As you will see in this English subtitled video, Roelie Post, author of Romania: For Export Only, was removed from her position in the European Commission for her outspokenness against atrocities in Romania, but continues her fight undaunted! With no personal connection to adoption, Post has become a brave and powerful whistleblower....and sole spokesperson for the Romanian babies being exported.

Please share widely so all can know of her work and the widespread atrocities being committed in the supply and demand baby trade known as by its seemingly compassionate and altruistic name: adoption.

The Driver Hired to Pick up 7-year-old Artyem from the Aiport

Arthur Lookyanov

Arthur is a self-described "Private Tour Guide & Professional Driver."

His English is excellent and he knows Moscow well. He offers a wide variety of personal guide services. He owns a Ford Fiesta and he offers an 8 hours guided tour of Moscow, including the services of his car which sits 3 passengers, all for 5000 rubles. He's prompt in answering is mobile phone and email.

Moscow-Driver.com is a personal website created by private guide and professional driver Arthur Lookyanov in 2002 as a tool to contact overseas clients who are looking to find a local English speaking person to arrange all transportation needs during their trip to Moscow, Russia. After several years experience working with people from many different countries and receiving diverse requests from businessmen and tourists, he gained a reputation not only as an excellent driver, but also as a knowledgeable tour guide and noteworthy photographer with a very personal approach to his guests.

Custom Tailored Services

At the present time, Moscow-Driver.com is an individual company / travel agent that specializes in personalized guide and driver services in Moscow tailored to clients’ specific interests, for example:

• Planning personal itineraries according to each client's requests;
• Transfers, transportation services in/out of the city;
• Tours of local attractions;
• Local support including interpreting services;
• Help to book accommodation or any tickets (train, plain, theater or circus) in advance;
• Taking professional looking photos to commemorate all important events.

Featured Testimonial

“	Every memorable act in the history of the world is a triumph of enthusiasm. Nothing great was ever achieved without it because it gives any challenge or any occupation, no matter how frightening or difficult, a new meaning. Without enthusiasm you are doomed to a life of mediocrity but with it you can accomplish miracles." (Og Mandino author and speaker) This is in dedication to Arthur who became my friend. He looked after me and took care of me with great care and tenderness. Who would have thought that as a female traveling alone and landing in Moscow could trust the hands of a stranger to take her to her hotel. That strange man ended up being one of the best experiences of my trip. Besides being my driver, tour guide, educator, interpreter, photographer and mediator, he was kind and one of the most humble human beings I have ever come across. His passion for his work beamed through with his enthusiasm for his country as well as having the love for people and life. The tears we left behind were a symbol that there are such good people on this earth. Thank you so much for making my trip such a wonderful experience!	”
—Carolanne Leone from Delaware, USA Arthur says: Had been misled by Nancy Hansen, I met Artem in Domodedovo airport at 10:45 am on April 8, 2010 and the whole day I spent this this boy till he was taken into hospital #21. Due to the fact that the media may wrongly interpret events without knowing the details of what happened, I decided to write full story in details about how I came up into this story and what happened at those crazy for me day...

Recommended Reading

Jean Mercer is a developmental psychologist with a special interest in parent-infant relationships presents a critical look at Nightline and RAD.


Child Myths: Straight Talk About Child Development

"She Had a Lot of Trouble Bonding": "Nightline" and the Russian Adoption Mess
The media perpetuate self-fulfilling prophecies about adoption.

"...the term "bonding", when it is used at all, technically refers to the positive emotions and concerns an adult feels for a child; one would not expect a young child, adopted or otherwise, to experience "bonding" to an adult, because "bonding" refers to the caregiver's emotions and motivations. "Bonding" is inferred when one person is seen to be concerned with and pre-occupied with the needs of another, and there seems to be no parallel child behavior that could be interpreted as meaning anything about the adoptee's ease or trouble in "bonding"."

I have always found it appalling that boding, attachment, and lack thereof were used to "blame" children. Would you blame a blind child for not seeing and thus spilling things and bumping into things? Would you blame a deaf person for not hearing you? It is just as perposterous to take an institutionalized child and expect them to know how to attach to a stranger - and to expect it within weeks or months!

Just as with cases of women who dupe multiple couples into thinking they had a baby to offer for adoption...this too is a manifestation of the fact that adoption has become a business transaction. You pay - you get a product. Might be a domestic or maybe you prefer an import. Pre-owned, but certainly certified as being in good condition! And when you are not satisfied, you return to sender!

I wonder if Ms. Hansen was (is?) planning to sue WACAP agency for wrongful adoption? After all, she was victimized - lied to - misled - not given the accurate CARFAX report! n fact it is as if the car salesman turned the odometer back!

There is no such thing as a failed adoption. The term failed adoption still puts some of the onus on the child being the cause of the problem. No, there is no such thing as a failed adoption - only adoptive parents who have failed and failed miserably and shamefully to uphold their promise and responsibility as parents.