tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2384966947084602158.post7819113576667520139..comments2023-12-26T19:43:01.770-08:00Comments on FAMILY PRESERVATION not Adoption Separaration: "Adoption Not Abortion" A Mutual MantraMirah Ribenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13626873757236976251noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2384966947084602158.post-11346322751085825902010-04-16T09:10:35.654-07:002010-04-16T09:10:35.654-07:00Seems unanimous that I mis-interpreted.Seems unanimous that I mis-interpreted.Mirahnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2384966947084602158.post-56603073622256917312010-04-16T08:35:31.063-07:002010-04-16T08:35:31.063-07:00I too think you misinterpreted him.
If he'd me...I too think you misinterpreted him.<br />If he'd meant what you thought he did, he would not have followed up by saying, "Adoption is giving up your child and not accepting your duties as a mother. Most women are not interested in that. It's only in a religiously-altered mind that that's a true option."<br /><br />In the full article he calls himself a "devout atheist", and it seems to me that what he is indirectly saying that it is too often coercive pressure from religious groups that influences women to relinquish their babies for adoption.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2384966947084602158.post-49263679671716377442010-04-15T22:24:45.273-07:002010-04-15T22:24:45.273-07:00Well, I certainly agree in keeping abortion and ad...Well, I certainly agree in keeping abortion and adoption separated. I, and most mothers I know, HATE that they are entwined in any way as if every adoptee is so lucky not to have bene aborted - anymore than anyone else...including children born to married folk.<br /><br />It almost sounds like he was speaking off the cuff and got quoted. I just hate that he said "adoption is easy" because it does sound to me that he is suggesting (or thinks) that making that decsion is easy. Kinda like Juno...just sign the kid away and go out and play guitar! I cannot find a rationale explanation for those 3 words.Mirah Ribennoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2384966947084602158.post-75543752713288513382010-04-15T21:52:43.424-07:002010-04-15T21:52:43.424-07:00Sorry to disagree but when I read his quote I want...Sorry to disagree but when I read his quote I wanted to pat the man on the back. He said it in perhaps an insensitive way, but he certainly "gets" that adoption has nothing to do with abortion. As an adoptee, I am tired of living with the "walking fetus that she at least cared enough not to abort" stereotype. I am tired of First Mothers being the only women automatically associated with abortion. I'm tired of people making connections between abortion and adoption that don't exist, jumbling it up, sprinkling some God and some shame in there, and throwing it in a woman's face with the end result being a bad decision.<br /><br />I don't believe he meant to say that adoption itself was simple but rather saying what I've always said: the decision between parenting, adoption, and abortion is not the jumbled, complicated mess that people feel to make it out to be. You either want to be pregnant or you don't. You either want to parent or you don't. Women who want to parent *ought* to be given the resources to do so. When the secondary issues of lack of support or poverty become the primary reasons one chooses adoption--there isn't truly a choice. It SHOULD be that simple--referring to laying out the decisions, not that being a First Mother is simple at all.<br /><br />More tact would have been for him to say, for the next paragraph: "abortion is not wanting to be pregnant" and "adoption is not wanting to parent." (or for some women, adoption is being forced out of parenting and not being given a choice). As for the "not accepting your duties as a mother" part, I can imagine how that would be offensive to women who were forced into adoption or who had bad information and chose adoption or had no means by which to parent and surrendered to adoption out of desperation.<br /><br />I believe he meant to say that religion twists abortion and adoption together when it shouldn't--and indeed it does. 87% of CPC centers use government funds to guilt and shame women out of abortion and try to save their souls. I don't think it's unfair to say that the Pro-Life movement has a decided involvement with encouraging adoption, intertwined with religion and "forgiveness."The Declassified Adopteehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16726376584015902627noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2384966947084602158.post-34529891293161938792010-04-15T15:03:08.980-07:002010-04-15T15:03:08.980-07:00I don't, as an adoptee, find his statement off...I don't, as an adoptee, find his statement offensive.He means adoption is simple in theory not in practise I believe.<br />Adoption however coerced, manipulated or chosen is giving up your duties as a mother isn't it? It doesn't mean you don't love the baby/child, care, remember,have pain,forget,regret but you do not carry out the day to day duties..fact.<br />Just be glad many women have been helped to find solutions that presumably they have chosen freely.Vonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17421069895155350144noreply@blogger.com