tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2384966947084602158.post7684709695390270519..comments2023-12-26T19:43:01.770-08:00Comments on FAMILY PRESERVATION not Adoption Separaration: Adoption ComparisonsMirah Ribenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13626873757236976251noreply@blogger.comBlogger6125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2384966947084602158.post-6354091353843591142009-09-08T17:04:26.422-07:002009-09-08T17:04:26.422-07:00Personally, I think you can only make a fair compa...Personally, I think you can only make a fair comparison if you can fairly compare.<br />Otherwise the comparison is likely to be invidious. <br />But then, what would I know?<br /><br />"I simply compared the issue of being deceived into thinking that you were doing good and many later realizing they were duped and feeling anger and depression and PTSD." <br />No one objected to that comparison even though it is pretty far-fetched!" <br />I don't know, because I haven't read your book, but perhaps you made it clear that their PTSD was primarily caused by the horrors they had witnessed and experienced, and the disillusion they felt was a contributing factor.<br /><br />"It is unfair and unkind, however, to simply shut someone -- or a discussion -- down by stating that their comparison is WRONG, or inaccurate, or a stretch. "<br />I find that a curious idea. From my POV, disputing or disagreeing with someone's opinion can only "shut down a discussion" if the person whose opinion is being challenged is willing to make that call.<br /><br /><br />"For the happily married person, comparing marriage to slavery is preposterous. And yet that be another's reality of their life's experience." <br />That's true. Just as what somebody thought and felt over twenty years ago is not necessarily representative of what they may think and feel today.<br />Like Maya Angelou says, 'When we know better, we do better".Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2384966947084602158.post-81035433985743438292009-09-08T15:13:50.616-07:002009-09-08T15:13:50.616-07:00Yes: Declarative statements and yes, we are both o...Yes: Declarative statements and yes, we are both opinionated!AdoptAuthorhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16916713887846028762noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2384966947084602158.post-39434771376006190652009-09-08T15:06:29.175-07:002009-09-08T15:06:29.175-07:00Ummmm....those are my OPINIONS. Yours may vary.
Y...Ummmm....those are my OPINIONS. Yours may vary.<br /><br />You can disagree and obviously you do. Oh well. It is my writing style to write in declarative statements, but I am only writing about my own observations and opinions that anyone can disagree with and many do quite frequently and vociferously.<br /><br /> Since you are equally opinionated when anyone disagrees with you, I think we have a bit of the pot calling the kettle black here. I admit to being an opinionated black pot. "here is my handle, and here is my spout.........:-)maryannenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2384966947084602158.post-40094496524051881152009-09-08T14:38:11.860-07:002009-09-08T14:38:11.860-07:00Yes, to say "that is your opinion, but I disa...Yes, to say "that is your opinion, but I disagree" leads to a healthy discussion. Dogmatic statements that your way is right and others are simply wrong, not so much. It is that type of forceful rhetoric that closes down much meaningful discussion whether on a heated issue like abortion, or currently simple discussions of health care reform.<br /><br /><br /><br />"No, adoption is not indenture. Nor is it slavery or kidnapping. But you have made it clear you believe it is all of those things.<br /><br />"I don't understand your fascination with comparing adoption to other "shocking" things and deciding they are the same, because some pieces of dictionary definitions can be made to fit. "Stirring the pot" in this way does not create change. It is more likely to stop people from looking at what is really wrong with adoption; to dismiss the whole argument because it is too extreme and easily dismissed.<br /><br />"Adoption is its own thing, it has its own problems and abuses, many of which you and others have pointed out clearly without resulting to extreme and loose analogies that some people do find insulting, off-putting, and exaggerated.<br /><br />"It is not a matter of political correctness, but of equating a bad thing with a much worse thing, or with something that is only tangentially similar. It is not a good way to argue for your cause because it leaves gaping holes in your argument. The analogies don't work, except to the like-minded choir you are preaching to."<br /><br />Perhaps you understand better now? As I said, I may not have been clear enough when I first began to think about these issues.AdoptAuthorhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16916713887846028762noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2384966947084602158.post-20889531238799810832009-09-08T12:54:21.943-07:002009-09-08T12:54:21.943-07:00It is not disrespectful nor does it end discussion...It is not disrespectful nor does it end discussion to say that you think someone's opinion is wrong. That is just disagreement, and the other person can come back and and say "no, I think my opinion is right, and this is why..." and so it goes, back and forth. Discussion dies out when everyone agrees, not when there are different points of view.maryannenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2384966947084602158.post-55418030841642023982009-09-08T09:23:39.921-07:002009-09-08T09:23:39.921-07:00Oh man, was I melodramatic in my younger and stupi...Oh man, was I melodramatic in my younger and stupider days! Just another reason why I have gotten rid of most of the awful mawkish poetry I used to write. What I said I said, in the depths of depression, but I do not feel that way any more, and am really ashamed of myself for having been that far over the edge and gotten drowned in bad metaphor. Better I should have soaked my head in a bucket until I felt better!<br /><br />Never put anything in writing or it can come back to bite you on the ass as this has. I won't be sitting down for a week!:-)maryannenoreply@blogger.com