tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2384966947084602158.post3012776697872437863..comments2023-12-26T19:43:01.770-08:00Comments on FAMILY PRESERVATION not Adoption Separaration: Who Does Adoption Serve?Mirah Ribenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13626873757236976251noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2384966947084602158.post-19579270447599229462012-05-15T20:04:41.180-07:002012-05-15T20:04:41.180-07:00"Extremely unfair"?
I merely stated wha..."Extremely unfair"?<br /><br />I merely stated what occurred and how I felt about it. "I" did not find it "nice." For me, it wasn;t nice, not one single solitary bit. Do I not have a right to my feelings?<br /><br />Until you've walked a mile - no 40 years - in my shoes; until you've suffered this loss of your firstborn child, not once, but TWICE...don't you DARE tell me how to feel about any of it!<br /><br />How can YOU tell someone to carry a child for nine months and simply walk away? Could you? How can anyone expect us to, yet they do...expect us to, pressure us to. And then, even when we do, it;s not enough. We are supposed to do it not feel pain and loss or ANGER at those who caused - or could have prevented- us the greatest loss in our lives? A loss I for one have NEVER recovered from? A totally UNNECESSARY loss because this child was born with an extended family that could have afforded financially and emotionally and in every way to care for my daughter and prevent her languishing in foster care for a year and then going to strangers but didn;t because of an ASSUMPTION!<br /><br />You act as if I took my child back from my sister....or tried to or even intended to. It was my sister's FEAR that I would that kept her from saving this precious child and keeping her in our family. It was her fear that kept her from helping me - her only sister, prevented me from the most horrible loss in my life. FEAR! fear of what MIGHT happen down the road.<br /><br />Selfish? You talk to ME about begin selfish? it was being told to do the "unselfish" thing and listening that lost me my child so don;t talk to be about selfishness. <br /><br />My sister let her SELFISH fears prevent her form helping me. later, when i told her I was searching for my daughter, she said she could "identify" with the adoptive parents and thought what i was doing was wrong. She identified with total strangers, not her own sister, And when my daughter died, my sister never sent a condolence card because, she said, she didn;t think of her as her niece. I lost my firstborn child and my children lost their sister, but my daughter selfish could only think of her own feelings and not even send a condolence card.<br /><br />She sat in front of me and made a toast to a neighbor of hers who lost a parent, but never mentioned my loss of my daughter. She never felt like the child she had thought of raising as her niece. Was it guilt? perhaps. I don;t know. All I know is that i send my condolences when friends lose a pet but she couldn't recognize MY loss because she didn;t think of my child as HER niece!<br /><br />So please shut up, because you have no idea what you are talking about!Mirah Ribenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13626873757236976251noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2384966947084602158.post-79042939704653496032012-05-15T19:18:09.927-07:002012-05-15T19:18:09.927-07:00I believe your comment about your sister is extrem...I believe your comment about your sister is extremely unfair. I have a biological child and have adopted my niece. I would never give her back to her biological parents under any circumstances. How can you tell someone to take care of a child, love and nurture that child, and treat her like the amazing gift she and all children are and then when I am ready to be mommy give her back to me. That attitude is beyond selfish, if you choose to not be a parent during the child's formantive years, why should you get to parent them later on. Children are not something to be loaned out or passed back and forth. I don't see how that is good for the child at all.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com