Monday, June 25, 2012

Adoption Madness

Sometimes I wonder why Family Preservation is so simple and yet so hard to cultivate in American culture. I wonder why the myths of adoption are so readily accepted and believed by the masses and why there is such resistance to accepting the truth.

I am reminded of what a publisher at Simon and Schuster said in 1987 after reading my first book, "shedding light on..The Dark Side of Adoption."  After saying how well researched and well written the book was, he then said, "but....
"...the public will not buy a book with a negative point of view about adoption. Those who adopt do so of necessity, not choice, and though they suspect abuses in the system, they are inclined to overlook the problems because they have no alternative. Seeing the subject realistically might be too painful and unacceptable."

Gaskins Jr.

Ah, yes indeed!  As Harry Truman said: "I never gave them hell. I just told the truth and they thought it was hell."

If the purpose of adoption were to please those who "needed" to adopt, then my friend at Simon & Schuster would be correct.  But what if adoption were really about putting the needs of children first and doing what is in their best interest, not allowing them to be commodified into gifts we hand out - or sell - to those eager for them? Would we not remove the blinders and listen and hear the TRUTH, no matter how ugly and painful?  

How can we knowingly ignore the truths of corruption, coercion, exploitation, kidnapping, child trafficking and denial of the rights of adopted people... and hail adoption as a "good"?

What about those of us for whom it is NOT a "necessity"? Stand up and speak out! Speak, even if you voice shakes. And never stop until the insanity stops.

Monday, June 18, 2012

A Proposal to Stem Adoption FAILURES

Jennifer Graham has written a Boston Globe Opinion piece defending Joyce Maynard who terminated her adoption of two Ethiopian girls.   

First, Graham seems to believe that Maynard deserves privacy, despite having been open and very public about everything else in her life - her affairs and the adoption of these two innocent children. She seemingly condones a person bragging publicly about their altruism in "rescuing" children, while simultaneously supporting sheltering them from the negative press when they simply "return" or give up on the children they've committed to.  

She seems to imply we should be sympathetic to this form of child abuse - the dissolution of a "forever" promise.

The placement of one of the two girls is described but not the other, leaving readers to conclude that the sisters were placed separately and to wonder what did become of the other girl? But never mind, let's just focus our pity on poor Maynard, not the children. After all, it is she we can identify with...and Lord knows she did TRY!

In order to pull of this absurd need to defend this inhumane act, Graham makes the OUTLANDISHLY incorrect comparison that a 15% adoption failure rate is not so bad when compared to a 50% divorce rate! How ignorant is this person – or does the general public feel this way about adoption?

The rate of adoption failure is actually 20 -25% when older child adoptions are factored in. But, statistics don't really matter. One adoption failure is too much.  

And there is no way to compare marriage which involves a free and willing CHOICE made by two ADULTS to an adult committing to care for a child forever.

These two innocent little girls did not ask to be taken from all that was familiar to them and taken – by strangers – to a foreign land!

Graham then goes to bemoan the declining number of International adoptions. She – and the public – simply ignore the reality that every adoption begins with a tragedy of a family in crisis or a mother deceived and less such horrific events is a triumph not a defeat. When countries close down or put tighter restrictions and regulations on the numbers of children they export – this is a good thing. It means they are putting they putting the breaks on the corruption, coercion, exploitation and the kidnapping to meet a demand. We need not feel regret that fewer children need to be taken from their families and homelands to meet a demand for "adoptable" children.

Adopters like Maynard deserve no kindness, no respect, and certainly no sympathy or pity anymore than any child abuser does. We should “understand” supporters like Graham plea, that these children are often very hard to handle – some smear feces on the walls. Would such an offense make beating the child acceptable? How about locking them up, or not feeding them - OK because of the offense?  Why is abandoning him or her thus acceptable? Would it be acceptable or condoned if someone gave away "their own" child for such behavior?

Or are we to forgive because she - and others like her - found them another placement?  This does not make a vile act any more noble. It is their only option, as Internationally adopted children cannot be placed in foster care. If there were dumpsters on every corner like the collection bins for old clothing, that allowed for the disposal of unwanted kids, they would simply do that. But since that is not acceptable or legal, they use their only recourse the law allows them: an underground network of families who take in the kids no one else wants.

Hey - if ya' wanna "test drive" a kid and see how "fits" in your family without committing to adoption - there is such a things foster-to-adopt!

Proposal to Stem Such Adoption Failures

I have a far better idea. I think every adopter who FAILS their commitment to a child – because clearly it is a failure of the adopter, not the child or the adoption – every bitch who takes a child and terminates or dissolves an adoption should be made to pay through the nose like Torri Hansen, who was ordered to pay $1000 a month after shipping her "forever child" back on a plane alone to Russia.

I propose a universal law in all states, that every adoption includes a legal contract binding the adopter so support the child or children they are accepting as their own until said child or children reach adulthood, at least financially. Anything less is totally unacceptable or fair.  Such an enforceable legal contract would make people think far more carefully before take on such a huge commitment.

After all, they are taking these children as their "own" with a birth certificate altered to show they were BORN to them!  We cannot have it both ways. We cannot have adopters telling they love their adopted children equally ti any child that might have bene born to them and then accept this kind of behavior as OK because they kid came with baggage that the adopter was unable to deal or cope with. 

The lack of such language in adoptions is clearly leaving the care of adopted children in the air and at the whim of their adopters. It is making them a product with a return agreement of not acceptable – if it fails to meet expectations. 

Every vulnerable child deserves such protection! 

But, alas, we know it will never happen because it is the adopters that grease all the wheels of the adoption industry with THEIR money!  It all revolves around them – their money, their needs are met. Their every whim catered to! If it's a so-called "open" adoption, THEY get to choose HOW open. The children are simply the commodity in the equation – and who grants “rights” or protection to a commodity? 

No, it’s always all about “consumer rights” and protection, isn’t it?

Keeping silent or in any way protecting the perpetrators of adoption terminations is an abomination and a slap in the face to their innocent victims of their abuse and gives their behavior a stamp of approval, allowing others to think that adoption comes with guarantees, warranties and a free ride of sympathy if THEY fail as parents!

We as a society cannot control public opinion, but we cna we MUST stop condoning this with laws that protect the children.

Child Welfare league of America, Evan B. Donalsdon Adoption Institute - I ask you to stand with me in proposing such legislation to protect adopted children.

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Maintaining Genetic Integrity and Rights of Father and Child

Bills that could reunite Hartland father with his daughter headed for governor

LANSING, MI -- For a Hartland man who hasn’t seen or heard from his daughter in more than three years, he thought this day may never come.
Quinn,Daniel.JPGDaniel Quinn, formerly of Fenton, is fighting battling the state parenting act for custody of his daughter, Maeleigh, 6.
This week, state legislators forwarded a group of bills to Governor Rick Snyder that could, eventually, let Daniel Quinn reconnect with his daughter, Maeleigh.
Quinn, formerly of Fenton, has been unable to see his six-year-old daughter since Memorial Day 2008 because of a state law that assumes the child’s biological father is the husband of the child’s mother.
The ordeal started when Quinn impregnated a married woman who was, at the time, separated from her husband. The woman then reunited with her husband, taking Maeleigh with her out of the state.
Quinn, who said he supported his daughter for more than two years, wanted to be Maeleigh’s father, but a 1956 law assumes a woman’s husband is the acknowledged father of a child born while the couple are married -- even if the biological father is not the woman’s husband.
Despite a DNA test, Quinn was hamstrung by a law that he felt was out of date.
“What the laws did to me essentially tied the judge’s hands,” Quinn said. 
Quinn campaigned for a change in the laws, even testifying in front of legislators.
Now, a set of bills awaiting Snyder’s approval could change all of that.
The bills would allow an alleged father to bring legal action forward to gain paternal rights to the child, even if another man is already being acknowledged as the child’s father.
The bills received overwhelming support in both the House and Senate. They were also supported by the National Family Justice Association, Friend of the Court Association, Department of Human Services, Michigan Probate Judges Association and the Family Law Section of the Michigan State Bar.
“The bills didn’t just barely pass,” Quinn said. “It’s no longer just ignoring the fact that these problems exist.”
The Michigan National Organization for Women testified in opposition to the bills in March.
If the bills are approved by Snyder, Quinn said he would promptly petition the court to gain parental rights to his daughter.
“I want my daughter to understand we both love her,” Said Quinn in regard to the child’s mother. “Neither of us bailed on her.”
Quinn said once he has his daughter returned to him, he would work to regain her trust by listening and talking with her. After that, he said he hopes he can do the usual fathering activities, including a vacation to Disney World.
But, until that day comes, Quinn said he is trying to not get his hopes up since his fight has already brought so much disappointment.
“My fight was going to last for 18 years,” Quinn said. “My fight was going to last until my daughter knew I was fighting for her.”
Gary Ridley can be reached at 810-280-9516. You can also follow him on Twitter @GaryRidley or on Facebook.


There is a great deal to be said about those who OPPOSE this legislation. Despite their names, they are extremely anti-family and anti-parental and child rights. Their opposition shows  deep rooted bad judgment; ownership and contentiousness rather than cooperative attitudes toward parental rights.

N.O.W. in particular displays their selfish attitude toward parental rights as ownership and continues to make evident their disregard for men and fathers as unnecessary except as disposable sperm donors. They have learned nothing from the voices of the adopted and "donor" children - children cerated by selfish women with a total lack of thought or concern to the future health, welfare or emotional stability and needs of the child they create to please themsevles and their own wants, desires and needs.  Sad. Very sad how women can be self-centered and ignore what is best for their children, acting as if the child is a coffee table with ownership rights to be fought over.

Oh, yes, some will say that they are thinking of the children and "protecting" them from the "confusion" it would cause to have to explain this messy truth of their conception to them. Well, life and truth are often messy, but truth is truth and is vital for one's development, emotionally and physically when it comes to issues of their conception. It's why birth and death records are called "vital statistics."
Definition of Vital:
1. a. existing as a manifestation of life    b. concerned with or necessary to the maintenance of life vital fluids>2. characteristic of life or life giving4. fundamentally concerned with or affecting life or living beings5. of, relating to, or constituting the staining of living tissue
They aren't called "important" statistics or "necessary" statistics. They are VITAL - life altering.

And yet state government are allowed to falsely and fraudulently issue them, alter names, parental lineage, date and place of birth, destroying the vital essence of their intent.

Keeping the truth from someone on the grounds of "protection" is merely a justification to lie and deceive - and all such lies are eventually uncovered causing great feelings of BETRAYAL which is far worse than a bit of confusion. 

After all, aren't the vast majority of adopted children today expected to understand that they grew in another Mommy's tummy? if we encourage telling adopted children the truth - as we do today - how can anyone justify keeping a fact like this a secret, other than the adults to whom the truth will cause an embarrassment. Oopops, to bad and too ate. She had unprotected sex while separated from her husband. She risked a pregnancy and also risked infecting herself, her child and the husband she reunited with an STD and public humiliation.

If people chose to lie that's their personal business and that of those they lie to. but government records MUST present the TRUTH!

And double shame on N.O.W. for supporting the upholding of the very antiquated principle that all children born within a marriage are de facto "property" of the husband. 

Protecting Children in Colorado: Exciting News


Hello friends and fellow activists!!
    I have some information to share with you about our website,, and petition below as well as our other efforts here in Colorado to protect our children from CPS wrongdoing. I also would like to ask you to share this with your contact list so we can raise awareness and gain support for the activities below. No monetary support is required for any of these activities.
    We've launched a petition to reform the Adoption and Safe Families Act of 1997 located The target goal of the petition is to eliminate the Federal monetary incentives paid to State and local Government for children placed in, and adopted from, foster care. We are also respectfully demanding that when children are removed and parental rights are terminated, that criminal charges are filed, and the case is investigated by the local police, NOT Child Protective Service Agency workers. We have also demanded upon hire and periodic mental health evaluations, drug screens and polygraph examinations (lie detector tests) administered to social workers and other professionals who are key in the removal of children from their biological, falsely accused families.
My husband is engaged in a campaign to run for Congress in a combined effort to affect the change in the ASFA legislation as well as reform the "No Child Left Behind" legislation. You can learn more here:
    We are participating in the filming of LAWLESS AMERICA in September, uniting our efforts with a candidate for the U.S. Presidency, Ms. Samm Tittle, who has signed the petition and supports the reform of ASFA.
    One of the many, most exciting, and promising, allies we've made is an attorney with the National Center for Youth Law who I am collecting information for from parents who are interested in a class action lawsuit against CPS. We are currently accepting information from parents within all of the U.S. states to be considered for eligibility. If you are interested, please email your contact information to
    We've also created an official Facebook page for Citizens in support of ASFA Reform here: and you can now follow us on Twitter @Justice4Lunnars. We haven't had the opportunity just yet to create a Reform ASFA account but we are working on it as well as creating a logo. If you are interested in helping with any of these activities, please email us at the address above.
    In our combined efforts, we are sure to achieve the change parents and children so desperately need to protect their rights to remain a family, undamaged and unbroken by false allegations.
    We thank you all for your continued efforts and support in the Parental Rights movements and activism! We look forward to continued work with each of you!
Khrysti Martarello-Lunnar

RussiaToday Apr 29, 2010 on Russian Adoption Freeze

Russi Today: America television Interview 4/16/10 Regarding the Return of Artyem, 7, to Russia alone

RT: Russia-America TV Interview 3/10

Korean Birthmothers Protest to End Adoption

Motherhood, Adoption, Surrender, & Loss

Who Am I?

Bitter Winds

Adoption and Truth Video

Adoption Truth

Birthparents Never Forget